The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[holberry]

Good Morning,

Just keep doing what you are doing, sounds good!

For me, the 1st month was tough, not all days tho. Then the habit kicked in solidly. Just remember, by the big Turkey Day, you will be a new woman, totally in control of your life. Trust me, everything gets easier in your life.

Have a great day at school
xx
h

[SuzyQ66]

Hi Pam - sorry I missed welcoming you aboard. Congratulations on your continued success.

[katesmom]

Thanks Hol and Suzi Q for writing....

I hesitated to even post here today...I guess I have decided to write about things that are affecting my MF plan and success or lack there of, because I hope I can look back one day, and know that I have learned to deal with anything and know I didn't do it with food...

Stress: Let's see, where do I begin...I have been married for 9 years to an unaffectionate, unromantic man...Yes, I did agree to marry him, but since that time I have grown and the relationship hasn't...I think since I have really looked at the issues and I mean REALLY looked honestly and deeply, that I have married a person that really has nothing in common with me ! Along with this reality, he has an addictive personality (smokes and drinks too much) but SO DO I !! I have to say it here, because it feels safe...I AM A FOOD ADDICT !

So here we go...We have an eight year old daughter that is feeling the stress in our life and also likes to eat...I have spoken to the peditatrician and she has given me some things to try... Always worry when you're a mother no matter what issue comes up !

I have two parents that are in their 70's...Mother is well for the most part and Dad has Alzheimers Disease...They have lived in their 4 bedroom colonial for over 30 years and have tons of "stuff"....They have not downsized yet and the frustration that I feel, in attempting to get them out of there to a smaller place...just overwhelms me...

My only sibling was a brother...He died of Leukemia at age 35 (14 years ago)...So he can't help me with my parents...

I have been doing pretty well this week and then STRESS hit again...My DH found out he will have to be out of work for 12 more weeks...Yes, ask me...Did I turn to food when I found out...YES ! It was the ONLY thing that made me feel better. I admit it, but feel like a coward...

I HAVE to overcome this problem...I need help and ANY suggestions from all of you wonderful people here that can offer advice...I welcome it...

I don't want to be a quitter...but need advice...

[Serendipity]

Pam, I can only tell you that eating to help your stress does not make your stress better. You know this. You know that eating makes you feel good for a minute and bad for hours or even days. Many of us have gone through huge amounts of stress while on plan and have coped without eating. What we have found is that we are able to get through these things without food as a crutch and each time we gained strength for the next time. You have to start somewhere, though. You need to have a victory or two to really start to understand because at the time, all you know is food.

I don't have any easy answers for you. I would suggest you try to remember how food effected the current situation. It didn't take the problem away. It made you feel disappointed in yourself. It took you off your program and will cause you to have problems getting back on. There just isn't anything good I can think of that the food did here.

Make a big sign if you have to - "FOOD IS NOT MY FRIEND!" Post it where it will remind you.

You have a double stake in this, Pam. You have a daughter learning from you how to cope with life.....believe me, she is watching. Now is the time to change the pattern.

[katesmom]

Good Morning and Thank you Jo...I needed to hear what you and many others will say...I don't mean to pour out my personal issues here, and do have a therapist who I have reconnected with and will see on Wednesday 9/12... I just want this to work for me...I know it can because I have done it with MF before...

I just have to almost say STOP when the stress is building and then say THINK... And actually use my "intelligent self" as was mentioned on the boards before, and make a wise decision.

Because you're right Jo, the food is a temporary fix...then the bad feelings rush in and you know you have three days to get back in ketosis...

I am NOT a loser and will not give up...I do have a duty to myself and my daughter to make the right decisions...

I will have an "attitiude of gratitude" and move on ... I will feel grateful that I could be honest here, and listen to others ...

One shake at a time...

[bikipatra]

Good Morning and Thank you Jo...I needed to hear what you and many others will say...I don't mean to pour out my personal issues here, and do have a therapist who I have reconnected with and will see on Wednesday 9/12... I just want this to work for me...I know it can because I have done it with MF before...

This is your journal and you should post whatever makes you comfortable. Personal issues are fine and almost all of us do it. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist and I still bring my problems to the board. Maybe not all of them, but many.

[katesmom]

Thanks Biki...Just want to be successful and needed to be HONEST with myself, so I can learn from this...

[BabyTrace]

Hi Pam,

Those are all really stressful things you have happening in your life right now. You cannot control your husband's depression or habits any more than you can control you parents' aging and health concerns. One thing you can control is YOU and how you react to the stress in your life.

A popular topic on the board this week has been "depression is anger turned inward." A lot of us like to feel in control of situations and when we realize we don't have control that's when fear, anxiety and depression can creep in. Unfortunately we've learned to soothe ourselves with food. Food--as Jo said, it only feels good for the moment, then brings the feelings of guilt and failure which only increase your stress level.

Maybe this week you should try to make a conscious effort to put yourself first. When you feel stress mounting take a minute, take 10 minutes, for yourself. Use that time to think about You and where you want to be in life. Rather than heading to our old friend food, take a walk around the block and use that time to think about You and where you want to be in life. If you are contemplating eating off plan try to remember how you felt the last time you used food as a temporary fix. Remember your feelings of disappointment. But also remember how you feel when you stay on plan. Remember how great it feels to see a drop on the scale. Remember your feelings of accomplishment when you have been compliant. Try to visualize yourself at goal. Hopefully after those few minutes of reflection you'll be prepared to choose You instead of food.

Just remember Pam, you cannot change those around you. You can only change You. If you want your life to be different you must start at the most important place, within.

I hope you have a happy day today.

Tracy

[bikipatra]

Maybe take the sugggestions Tracy and I have given that seem doable and make yourself a written list that you can pull out or even have taped somewhere to look at all the things you can do when you feel the stress and the temptation. I have my list taped to my refrigerator door.

[holberry]

Good Morning,
Hope today is going better for you!

I believe you have gotten some great advice here. I really like Jo's statement that you need a victory or 2 to get this going. Then you wont have an option, youve got a buzz going, the weight is coming off.

This is all about you Pam, You must put yourself in the number one spot. It's not about the hub and not even about your darling daughter. What you accomplish will benefit your daughter immensly.

I just had a catharsis after 5 months. I dumped alot of garbage along with my 70lbs. This journey has always been about me, me only. But my adorable kids have reaped the benefits of the new me.

I can tell you have the positive strenght to do this Pam. You can,
The results as Jo says, can be typical.

loves and hugs.
hol
ps, Tj max on Saturday nigths for cheap silver jewelry has been my weekly reward!
ppss, I had a better post but it got spammed out

[katesmom]

Hi Biki, Tracy and Hol...Thank you for spending your time and energy posting in my journal... All of your suggestions have been digested and noted. As I mentioned before, I have to be honest here or I won't make any growth emotionally or physically. You all have been so sweet and patient ! I'm sure you just want to say,"C'mon Pam...Get your a-- in gear and stop wasting time!"

I have really tried to be productive today...Started my family back to church , and we have a new minister who is super..He moved here from New Hampshire, with his wife and four beautiful children...I had taken a year off from attending church. Lots of reasons (won't go into here) and we had an interim minister for over a year and I didn't feel like I was connecting with him...I announced to my DH last night and my daughter that we were all going back to church starting today...I packed my 2 shakes and off we went...My DH said,"You're bringing your shakes into church"? I said, "Sure am"....


I think it really made a difference in the day...I wanted to clean, clean, and clean...Got a lot done and stayed compliant...Determination led the way today...Thank Goodness....

Time for bed and I look forward to a new day...

Thanks again for the honest and sincere thoughts...They really have meant a lot. You'll all be in my prayers...

[bikipatra]

Three years ago when we lived on the Congressional side of the Hill, I had a similar experience at church. I actually got up in the middle of Mass and waked out and never went back to that church. We moved 8 blocks over a little over 2 years ago and I gave the church here on the corner a try and really enjoy it. It is nice to get a right "fit" at church.

[aquarianskye]

Here's to a GREAT day for you!

[DonnaS]

Hello Pam, Hope your day is going good. I'm so glad I came over to your journal because I had a bad weekend and really needed some of the same advice that you got from all these ladies. I'm definitely going to post a lot of it on my refridgerator, mirror, and anywhere else I need to have it. I'm sorry about all the stress happening in your life right now. I have no words of wisdom but I will certainly keep you in my prayers.

[holberry]

Hey Katie!
Just passing by with a