The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Amber]

Ok, Medifamily, let me pick your brains...

I just returned from a visit with my family; Mother & other, Brother & family, Aunt & family. Except for my mother, I have not seen these people in about three years. Last year I lost 45#, I am 5' 1"; my weight loss is significant.

Can any one tell me, guess or speculate as to why not a single person would comment or aknowledge? I am totally befuddled. Has anyone else had this type of thing occur? Just exactly what WERE they thinking? Or not thinking?

[Pashta]

Well, did you say anything to them about it after the fact and ask them why? I sure would've hehe. Maybe you weren't wearing well-fitting clothing. If you wear loose clothing it makes you look a lot bigger than you are.

Then again, 167 was not that big to begin with hehe. You most likely didn't look fat then and still don't...

[Tawanda]

Could it be that they were envious of your loss and didn't want to acknowledge your accomplishment?

[GucciGoo]

Could it be that they were envious of your loss and didn't want to acknowledge your accomplishment?

Exactamundo!

[DonicaB]

Amber~ I'm sure that was very frustrating. I'm mean.....come on. 47# off a 5'1" frame is very significant. I can't believe they didn't notice.

You said they hadn't seen you in 3 years. Maybe they just didn't remember what size you were before. I think they definitely were not thinking. I don't know?

Regardless of what they were or were not thinking, I'm sorry they didn't acknowlege your success.

DonicaB

[MerryMary]

Amber~ You said they hadn't seen you in 3 years. Maybe they just didn't remember what size you were before.

After reflecting on my own family I'd go along with Donica here.

I think family members sometimes see us differently than most others do. It's as though they go past the skin to the soul ... at least my mother does!

Mary

[hulagirlfromhawaii]

Could it be that they were envious of your loss and didn't want to acknowledge your accomplishment?

Exactamundo!

Yup!!!

[Mike]

Perhaps they were all blinded by your radiance? Or perhaps it was snowblindness.... ya'll get that up there in Montana I believe. My visit last week proves it.

I remember after Di had lost 30 lbs, she went to a friends daughters b-day party and everyone was raving about her hair. Yep, you betcha..... not her weight loss...... she must have looked so different because of her hair. Anyhow.....
BTW.... beautiful country up there. We were in the Bitterroot Valley from Missoula to Hamilton and then south to Nevada. Great area, and lots of photos we did take.

[Amber]

Thanks, everyone, for sharing your thought; you folks are the BEST !
The lack of comment truly does not matter, it was not approval or aknowledgement that I was seeking... It just seemed very strange to me,
And, yes, Mike, it could have been snow-blindness; it was snowing in Michigan, too. Lucky for me, I live in the Montana Banana Belt; nothing but spring flowers & sunshine here!

[Elizabeth]

Amber, perhaps your Mother told them already and they weren't surprised??? Did they say anything like you are looking good or healthy? I tend to think its a little personal/sensitive sometimes to peg out body weight or fat on someone I haven't seen in a long time...like thats all I notice about them. If they seemed happy for me, it would be enough for me. I doubt your family is jealous of you unless they are those type of people. Congratulations on your success!!! You look fabulous and healthy and happy!

[Amber]

That's not the case, Elizabeth, & no, no comments at all.
Weird, huh?
And, yes, thank you; I am happy~truly content for the first time that I can remember. Life is grand & that's the important thing!

[Pegann]

Thats just it...they weren't thinking! Peeps are funny aren't they? Some are too opinionated (I am one of them... ) and others are not opinionated enough!

Your accomplishment is fantabulous and I am green with envy!

[bdg]

Could be too that they didn't want to seem rude. I know it seems odd, but I often get the comment "I hope I don't seem rude, but man, you have lost a lot of weight!" and I often reply its not rude, and thanks!

[Jan]

Hi there,
I think BDG is on to something. Sometimes when we say to someone "my you've lost weight" ... it's kind of like saying ... hmmm I noticed you were heavier. People are afraid sometimes to make comments so they don't say anything at all. We are not quite so certain how the individual will take it. ( Of course for all of us it's "music to our ears" when someone tells us we've lost weight ) I remember an incident once when my son was young -- he's 31 now -- so it was awhile ago. The neighbor boy had all kinds of behavioral issues that were very obvious. He was getting some extra help to deal with things. I " thought" I was being kind and told his mother. "my -----is doing so great"... to which she replied .. " Are you telling me he wasn't so great before??" Ouch!!! Now I tend to be a bit caucious also!!
jan

[Diana]

This fall, when I was first running into folks after losing over 60 lbs., the weightloss was a lot more obvious than "did you do something different with your hair?" The other problem, however, was that there've been many serious, lifethreatening issues running through our district.

I saw a principal who used to teach with my husband. We hugged, etc., but she made not mention of my weight or size. Later, a mutual friend told me the principal had checked with her, "Diana looks great; is she ok?" After she found out I DON'T have cancer, etc., she told our friend to apologize for her for not saying anything and to tell me I look great.

And Brian and Jan are very right. But I also think that one of the problems with obesity in our country is that folks DON'T talk about it. It's ok to tell people "you shouldn't smoke," "you shouldn't drink so much." It's not ok to say "you shouldn't be that heavy." And instead of encouraging each other to eat less, folks egg each other on to indulge.

Ok, relinquishing soapbox and microphone now.

Amber, I'm SO GLAD that you're content and you have an internal sense of accomplishment! THAT is what will lead you to a victoriously healthy life.