The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[SharonR]

Thank you Robin, I think that is very encouraging and other's who struggle as I do will see it the same way.

I am NOT saying to go off plan, I'm saying if you do, as Robin says go back, start again.

I just don't think we should beat up ourselves or others because they/we "cheat".

This is suppose to be a encouraging place, a soft place to fall. People should be able to tell how they fell of the wagon and be encouraged to get goin' again.

That's what keeps me comin' back to this forum, some people are very lovely and always care and are ready to pick me up when I fall. I appriciate that more than words can say.

So here's to workin the program how it best suits you!

[Mike]

This is suppose to be a encouraging place, a soft place to fall. People should be able to tell how they fell of the wagon and be encouraged to get goin' again.

That's what keeps me comin' back to this forum, some people are very lovely and always care and are ready to pick me up when I fall. I appriciate that more than words can say.

I totally agree Sharon. I have been somewhat discouraged here lately to see all of the negativity when someone says what they do or do not do that is not necessarily part of the plan. I do appreciate the uplifting things that people post, but sometimes I have also seen some folks say things that aren't exactly positive, and sometimes can be hurtful to others.
I understand that we need to be careful about what we post with regards to how newbies may take things. My point is that sometimes if we are so aggressive about some things, this may actually cause people to leave the forum when they are just getting used to things. I haven't seen QuirkyIQ lately and I wonder if this may have happened to them.

Anyhow, I'm off my soapbox now. I am sure I will hear from people regarding this now, but its okay, I have a thick skin.

[jump4joy]

I've been completely compliant and lost nothing for weeks at a time (I think three weeks was my longest) and very slowly the rest of the time. I've also been NOT compliant and actually lost more quickly that way.

So to offer a somewhat dissenting opinion, I think occasional off-plan eating can be useful if done right. It can jump-start things for those of us who go three weeks following the plan to the letter without losing a thing. It can also be good training for maintenance. Speaking just for myself, I'm not planning to swear off pizza and other off-plan foods for the rest of my life. I also realize I can't eat those things whenever I feel like it, or I'll gain everything back plus more. What I CAN do is learn to allow myself occasional treats and then go right back to my normal vigilance.

Personally, I don't expect to suddenly learn how to do that 8 pounds from now, when I hit goal (assuming I do; my goal is no longer a number on a scale). For me, that is yet another lesson I'm learning on this journey. I am no longer an all-or-nothing person, which I feel is one of the reasons I got this way in the first place. In the past, either I was on a diet or I wasn't. Either I restricted what I ate or I didn't. Now, I can have something that's not on the plan and recognize that it doesn't mean I've failed or I need to give up or anything else. All it means is I had something not on the plan. Three hours later, I have another Medifast meal and everything's back to normal.

Great post, Robin. I agree with everything you've just said. Having been 100% perfectly compliant on MF in the past, I find that being somewhat more flexible this time (95-98% or compliant most of the time) has worked better for me and has helped me get away from my black-and-white all or nothing thinking. I'm losing slower, but I feel in better control of food when I do eat something a little off-plan......and I've found it does jumpstart my weight loss when needed to have extra supplements or extra protein when my body calls for it. I still aim to be 100% compliant, since I really hate to make this last any longer than it has to, but I allow for bad days, or just being human, or tired, and don't beat myself up over a real lapse (unfortunately, I succumbed to one cup of ice cream this past weekend), and just get right back on MF again. My lapses now are very small and controlled compared to the past and never turn into a relapse anymore. Now I've proven to myself that I can go right back on plan. Progress....not perfection!

Joy

[jump4joy]

Thank you Robin, I think that is very encouraging and other's who struggle as I do will see it the same way.

I am NOT saying to go off plan, I'm saying if you do, as Robin says go back, start again.

I just don't think we should beat up ourselves or others because they/we "cheat".

This is suppose to be a encouraging place, a soft place to fall. People should be able to tell how they fell of the wagon and be encouraged to get goin' again.

That's what keeps me comin' back to this forum, some people are very lovely and always care and are ready to pick me up when I fall. I appriciate that more than words can say.

So here's to workin the program how it best suits you!

Amen, Sharon! Very well-said!

Joy

[SharonR]

Thank you Joy, thank you.

And Mike, AMEN to what you said. DITO!

[RyCoBlakesFolks]

Jo

I couldn't agree with your post more & look.......... the proof's in the (Medifast) pudding! You have done phenominally and are one of the people here who keep Jerry & I so motivated to stay compliant. You have been totally compliant for 9 months, as have Jerry & I since we began, and the losses show that compliance does make a huge difference.

It would be too easy for me to have a little cheat and then another the next week and convince myself that it's O.K.. to 'cheat a little' or 'eat off plan' once in awhile but what a slippery slope that would be for me. I want this weight off and the sooner the better! Convincing myself that slower loss is just fine or that I need to 'kick start' my loss would be the beginning of my end on program I'm afraid and I won't go there.

I am also in agreement that this is and should be a supportive place for all of us. However, I don't think 'support' necessarily means agreeing that eating off plan is O.K. and could cause newbies or others to start down that slippery slope resulting in failure for them. A little tough love can be a good thing (although my kids may disagree w/ that) when couched in caring and honesty. I think the type of support given depends on the particular post being responded to. If a Medifriend has slipped and is feeling bad about that my response would be completely different than to a Medifriend who has gone off program and feels good about that decision.

I have been reading these boards long enough to see that those who are compliant have much greater success in both losing weight quickly and staying with the program. I don't think there is any question about that. Obviously, the decision whether to follow the program and remain 100% compliant is up to each individual person. I do think it would be interesting though to go back through old posts of those who have disappeared from the forum and see if it wasn't soon after beginning to 'tweak' the program that they vanished.

I know some days are easier than others for all of us but I can say for myself it sure feels great to get through a stressful time and not to have gone off program.

I want everyone who comes here to be successful and reach their goals for weight loss, better health, and just plain old feeling better. Sometimes the truth isn't what we want to hear but what we need to hear & I thank you Jo for your thoughtful & supportive post.

Lori

[DogMa]

Well, as I said, I tried being completely compliant - and I didn't lose an ounce for weeks on end. (As for people tweaking the program and leaving, I've been around longer than 90 percent of the people here!! My occasional off-plan adventures were brief, and I never even considered leaving the program.) I truly don't believe it has slowed my weight loss - my weight loss was extremely slow from the beginning. And honestly, as much as I'd like to finish this phase, I really am more interested in long-term success than who loses weight the fastest. I'm not saying the never-cheaters will gain back their weight, but I have seen the return of plenty of folks who stuck to the program and lost a lot, only to finally fall off the wagon and gain it all back. The same goes for other programs I've been on (heck, I've done it with another program, after maintaining for three years!).

We're all different. If the all-or-nothing mentality works for you, well, good for you. Do what you've been doing and I wish you luck. But it doesn't work for some of us, and I don't think it's necessary to try to make us feel bad or to point fingers. I don't think we should have to hide, either. What about the newbie who follows the program because everyone tells her that the weight will come off if she does that, but it doesn't? If, when I went three weeks without losing anything, I hadn't heard about off-plan meals sometimes helping, I'd have been gone a long time ago. There's a limit to how long I'll stick to a restrictive plan that isn't working for me.

The initial post was someone who had one meal off-plan and had gone right back to the program. She ate the pizza, she enjoyed it and then she got back to business. Unless she's doing it every week, I have no problem with that. If it works for her, great.

[caligirl]

People should be able to tell how they fell of the wagon and be encouraged to get goin' again.

That's what keeps me comin' back to this forum, some people are very lovely and always care and are ready to pick me up when I fall. I appriciate that more than words can say.

So here's to workin the program how it best suits you!

Well said...

[Unca_Tim]

There's no way to know if on plan/off plan....add this or add that, has any affect (or is that effect?) on your weight loss. Just because you had a slice of pizza one night, and were down 2 lbs the next morning doesn't mean your body wasn't ready to dump the 2 lbs no matter what you did.

Everyone's lifestyle and approach to the program is as unique as they are.

Just do the best you can. Stick as close to the QuickStart guide as you can. The more important part (during the weight loss phase) is structuring your eating habits and retraining yourself so you can keep your health forever.

[DogMa]

It's effect.

And sorry if I lost it a little there, but I think some of the anti-cheat posts are more than a little judgmental. I have gone through periods where I've posted much less, and those posts are usually the reason. I know what works for me and what doesn't, and I don't need people saying (or implying) that my slow losses are my fault or that I need to engage in the all-or-nothing behavior that got me here in the first place, or I'm somehow wrong.

Maybe I'm taking those posts too personally, but it's kinda hard not to.

[jump4joy]

I don't believe that there is only One Right Way to be successful in working the MF plan. I'll admit I've been reluctant to post here when I've been struggling at times, because I don't need/want "tough love"....just a safe place to share in my struggles. I know this plan backwards and forwards and have been doing it off and on since 1998. I've lost it all TWICE on MF....doing it the "perfect 100% compliance" route. I've lost 80 lbs. in two years on my OWN diet and exercise plan. To some I may be perceived as a failure....but I see myself as a success. It took Thomas Edison over 2,000 tries to invent the filiament for the light bulb. When asked how he felt about all his past failures, he replied that he wasn't a failure....he SUCCEEDED in inventing the light bulb....it was just a 2,000-step process.

I would hate to think that the only people on this forum who deserve praise and applause are the ones who can claim 100% compliance on MF. I applaud and give kudos to those who do that....they deserve it. But I hope that the equal success of those who may take a longer, more circuitous way to thindom, is not MINIMIZED in any degree.

A quote from the new MF diet book, The Secret is Out: "Just remember that you do NOT have to be perfect. Any losses you achieve in body weight is progress. If you expect perfection, you will be disappointed and set yourself up for failure. No one can ever be perfect all of the time." (pg. 31)

Another quote from Linda Spangle's 100 Days of Weight Loss: Day 73, All or Nothing: "Most people who are perfectionists tend to be all-or-nothing thinkers who follow the theme, do it right or don't do it at all. When you get hung up on the RIGHT WAY to do things, you can lose sight of all the other possibilities. And if you're a true perfectionist, you not only apply the "do it right" concept to yourself, you also expect others to follow the same rules. Perfectionism typically involves black-and-white thinking. Either you do the whole thing (white), or you don't do it at all (black). Between these two extremes lies a small grey area." She goes on to say that we should "strive for excellence instead of perfection."

I'm doing my best to strive for excellence. I have not been 100% compliant this time, even though I always aim for it. And I'm making good progress. I hope that my success will not be minimized or dismissed because of that. I happen to believe better of this forum. There is room for all of us....wherever we may be in this difficult process.

Joy

[Finally_Losing]

It's funny. I did almost title this "I did it and I don't regret it, no bashing please". I have definitely read some posts that were more supportive than others. Medifast is a way of eating, a change in lifestyle. It is teaching us how to eat to live and not live to eat, at least for me it is doing this. I know that 3 weeks or even months is not going to break habits that took 30 years to form. Every meal is a decision. Every temptation is a decision. I know that I can never go back to my way of eating before. Not just because of the weight, but I felt like crap. But saying that I will NEVER have pizza or cake or whatever the thing may be is ludicris. I plan to live and enjoy life with MF. However, if a situation arises and I make the choice to have something off my plan of eating, then so be it. Will it make my weight loss slow, probably, but I know the consequences ahead of time and choose to make the decision. It effects noone but myself. Beating myself up will be the same pattern I've done in the past thus not changing anything, the way I look at food, the way I feel about myself, etc. I know that beating myself up for whatever I ate will only make me feel worse and chances are I would go off the plan altogether. By giving myself the opportunity to make the decision while asking is it worth it, works for me. I've said no until the pizza, I made the decision it was worth it, ate it, it's over, back on plan. I have to learn to make decisions about food. I've never done that before, except when I decided what I wanted to eat and I didn't put any limits on that. Now I'm making conscious decisions what to eat and portions.

Jo, I highly respect your opinions and the fact that you have come so far and done so well. I think it is fantastic and strive to be there one day as well.

Thank you all!
Amy

[Mike]

Oops -- This is Diana posting under the DH.

Everyone's lifestyle and approach to the program is as unique as they are.

Just do the best you can. . . The more important part (during the weight loss phase) is structuring your eating habits and retraining yourself so you can keep your health forever.

Amen, Unca. The longer I work on making the BeSlim philosophy a part of my life, the truer I find your statement.

My own two cents here (as I take cover and brace for impact): I think this program is like learning any other new system we want to incorporate into our lives permanently. As newbies, it's important to learn the ropes and routines by the book. Once we know what the "rules" are, we can figure out where we, personally, can make adjustments and adaptations to suit our own sense of the journey. (In education, I think it's called the Levels of Use Theory or something equally *profound* -- the version I was exposed to involved some kind of analogy that ended with using a coffe pot to run a hot tub or some silly thing like that.)

Most "books," after all, are written for the people in the middle of the bell curve. That's clearly NOT the entire population. The bigger picture IS, in the end, about finding out what our own personal boundaries, limitations, pitfalls, triggers, rhythms, successes, strides, momentum are. (I know what it's like to spend 6 months and lose only 12 lbs. It took me 5 months just to get INTO the 10# club in a different program.) But it's equally as important to know what exactly it is in the program we're adjusting, why, and to understand how it has lead to the effect we got, intended or not.

Ok, a bit off track from the original post, I admit. The gem, I think, to take away from the theme here is, as others have stated, how to develop habits of the mind and heart, which run the habits of the body, for longterm success. In my observation from other programs (including my own dh's experience with gastric bypass surgery), if the motives, triggers, and reactions aren't dealt with, this is just another diet and doomed to failure. I think that's EXACTLY what Amy (and Sharon and Jo and all the other posters here) are doing.

[Serendipity]

Wow, where do I start? First of all, I read a post from someone who has just started the program and has posted about an off plan episode. My post was not meant to criticize and if you would please go back and read it, I think you may agree. I was simply pointing out some of the draw backs of off plan eating and especially off plan eating that is in relation to emotional issues and not researched, discussed with a health advisor or planned.

Robin, with all due respect, I believe you are and exception to the rule. I have never in all of my posts, criticized you for the way you are working this plan. But I have also never seen you post about a cheat because you were having a bad day. I have never blamed your slow losses on how your are working this plan. But with that said, I don't necessarily think it is productive to condone off plan eating to someone who has just started the program and hasn't even had a chance to have a plateau yet. That is just my opinion. As I stated in my above post, it was just my opinion and it was not meant to single anyone out.

If anyone found my post offensive, I would suggest that you read more into it than was intended. I mentioned nothing about "all or nothing". I simply tried to give some food for thought. If we can't do that as a group without getting bashed for it, then maybe we have a problem as a group. I don't bash people. Someone mentioned "judgemental". I wasn't being judgemental either. I was just saying what works for me as we all are encouraged to do. But each time we have a discussion like this, people say that we need to be more supportive! Well, I was giving support the only way I know how. I think there are plenty of people here who repeat over and over ad nausium "don't be hard on yourself. Just get back on", etc. etc. And that is all good, but it's also good to explore why we do things and to think about staying the course.

I really feel here that I've been given a bad rap with my post, but I don't regret it for one second.

[alohacate]

Serendipity, I understood where you were coming from! No worries, sometimes people just need to vent!! It was interesting to read all the different interpretations and read about their perspectives. Maybe Unca should put this thread to rest?