Tawanda

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Re: Tawanda

Postby lifelovinaries » January 30th, 2010, 6:57 pm

yay T!!!! I am so happy for you! Keep up your great work. :cleader:
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Re: Tawanda

Postby Tawanda » January 31st, 2010, 8:23 am

147# this morning (yesterday was 146.5). I was bummed to have little to no weight loss this week, but last week's 3# was wonderful, so taking the not so wonderful with last week's wonderful....

Lots of stuff weighing heavy in my thoughts right now and I'm not feeling very social or chatty.

I hope everyone has a great week and stays on program.
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Re: Tawanda

Postby Joy » January 31st, 2010, 1:47 pm

just a quickie!

hope you will have a pleasant week,
joy :thumbup:
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Re: Tawanda

Postby Susie Q » February 1st, 2010, 10:00 am

Just stopping in to say HELLO!! I hope you sre enjoying staying in and around your goal weight while you work to meet the next goal!
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Re: Tawanda

Postby katieb920 » February 1st, 2010, 6:30 pm

Hola MS t,

Just stopping in to say hi.
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Re: Tawanda

Postby oksoonergirl26 » February 1st, 2010, 7:36 pm

Hope things are getting better (especially your health)!
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Re: Tawanda

Postby lifelovinaries » February 2nd, 2010, 9:23 pm

hi T, i'm trying to keep up with everyone and i just popped in to say "hello!"
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Re: Tawanda

Postby Tawanda » February 3rd, 2010, 7:27 am

Hi everyone!

Unca gave me back my maintaining medallion. :) I'm so happy to get to see it there once again. Hopefully I'll never have to have it stripped off of my signature line again (by regaining weight).

Thank you for stopping and leaving notes. It was very kind of each of you.

My brother was diagnosed with cancer about 10 days ago. He is 55 years old, 6' 2" and 320# . His obesity has contributed to a host of health problems that surfaced within the last 5 or so years. He had undiagnosed high blood pressure and also sleep apnea. His heart was damaged by the untreated blood pressure. The walls of his heart are so muscular from working excessively hard to pump blood, that his heart 'muscle' is unable to 'relax' when it is suppose to. Last year, in an effort to help regulate his heart rate (his heart rate was too slow as it fought to beat & pump the blood throughout his body) he had a pacemaker placed in his chest. Now he has cancer and the doctors (cardiologists and primary care) are trying to evaluate whether he is a candidate for surgery.

Along with the heart problems, the high blood pressure that is very difficult to control (due in part to the heart damage), his kidneys are shutting down (again blood pressure is tied to this) and now it was found that his thyroid is not functioning properly.

He is kicking himself, wondering how many of these health problems he would have if he were not obese and if he had taken better care of himself.

It gives me a lot to think about, too.

Choices.....we all have choices. Medifast is so darn simple. It is NOT always easy to say 'no' to our food desires......but the program is so darn easy. 5 times a day you tear open a Medifast package and eat the contents. 1 time a day you get to eat a portion of lean protein and some healthy veggies.

SIMPLE!

So, why----when we have such a tool at our disposal and we have heard/read so many stories of obesity related health problems, such as my brother's.............why do we still eat the processed crap (sorry-----but that is what it is----chemically laden, flavor enhanced, manufactured 'crap') and think we are doing something 'nice' for ourselves.

Excuses....so many different excuses for not following the program as written. I've done it and I've read it here (and elsewhere) where people find a 'reason' to not follow the program.

Something tempted me.
I smelt a heavenly fragrance of xxxx food and could not turn it down.
Grandma would have been hurt if I hadn't ate what she made, especially for me.
I was away from home and did not take along any supplements (well, why in the world didn't you have at least a couple bars tucked into your handbag or your glovebox?!).

The list of excuses is so darn long and all it comes down to is people, 99.9% of the time, want to find a reason to eat off program.

Have you noticed that when we eat off program that we didn't have an 'off program' vegetable? We didn't grab a small portion of an off program (fattier) cut of meat. We didn't choose to eat piece of fruit or order a fruit bowl. What did we grab? More calorie heavy, non-healthy, sugary or white flour 'crap'.

What in the world is wrong with us and our thinking?!

How is consuming chemically altered food (chips, candy, cookies, ice cream can sit in a bowl overnight and never melt) something worthwhile for us to nourish our bodies or our souls?

I fought myself for many months, trying hard to get myself back on program as I regained weight.

Look at that sentence...........how stupid is it?!!!

I fought myself.....trying to get back on program. Trying to stop eating off program crap.

What an idiot I was. I wasn't fighting my desires all that hard or I would have stopped eating those foods. I wasn't eating them because I was hungry.....I was eating them because I had trained my brain to think of them as 'necessary to nurture me when I was feeling emotions that were uncomfortable'.

My mother has chronic health problems and she is a difficult person on her best days. I don't deal well with that. So, I talk to mom or take her to the doctor's and find out that she needs an outpatient treatment every other month. That means a lot more on my plate. Instead of closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and beating my head on an imaginary wall or punching an imaginary pillow until I get my emotions under control.......I would drive through BK and buy myself the biggest 'value' meal possible. Or I'd find a big bowl to fill with ice cream. Or I'd grab 6 cookies.....heck, maybe I'd grab 12 cookies.....or treat myself to a few candy bars......or a big bag of cheetos...

We've all done it. Tried to self-medicate by eating our way through something instead of just feeling and dealing with the emotions.

I don't kid myself that my life stresses are any worse than any one else's are. I sure as heck know that mine are probably an awful lot less than other people.....but we all 'eat' to self medicate and then we work to find excuses as to why we couldn't avoid eating.

I'm calling each of us on that one.

The next time I (or you--if you want to do this) get stressed, overwhelmed, sad, mad, glad.......whatever the emotion.......we need to stop and just experience the emotion.

It is that easy and going to be uncomfortable---even painful.

We're going to experience the emotion sooner or later.....but why not just cut out the 'crap food' and do it like an intelligent adult. That is what I am working on. I'm working on finding my intelligence when it comes to eating.

Maybe I'm not going to be very popular when I post this. Many people aren't ready to accept that excuses are nothing but excuses.

But you know what? It could me me next with 'not yet found' big medical problems tied to what I've been doing to my body with 'crap' food for years.

It could be you......your heart and organs could be on the verge of problems because you've soothed or treated yourself with crap food for so many years.

The saddest part? It could be your child.....or my child....who has watched me shovel those foods into my body. Who has sat with me at the fast food joints and is eating those foods with me -- as a treat. Had the candy, had the ice cream.....to excess.

What are we doing to ourselves? What have we done?

It is not too late for most of us (I pray it isn't).

Most of you guys are younger than I am --- heck, probably everyone is younger than me! :oops:

You haven't ruined your health yet......you haven't damaged your organs yet.

Your children have a chance to avoid what my brother and so many others are going through. My children have a chance to avoid them.

So.......what are you going to choose? Crap food in large quantities often........or healthy foods after getting your weight off using this program?

I'm choosing to beat that binge monster of mine into submission forever. I'm choosing to feel emotions instead of trying to smother them under huge servings of 'crap' food.

I'm choosing to fight for a healthier me......instead of whining that 'it is too hard'.

I care deeply about each of you and I pray you'll join me in fighting for a chance at living a longer, healthier life.
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Re: Tawanda

Postby katieb920 » February 3rd, 2010, 8:48 am

T,

That was written beautiful. You put so many things in to perspective for me. I look at it this way my mom is not here any more, and the reason she is not here is everything you have just written. I have to do this.

Thank you for writing that.

Kati
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Re: Tawanda

Postby lifelovinaries » February 4th, 2010, 6:48 pm

T, i see so much of myself in a lot that you have written. I am sorry about your brother's health and i thank you for helping turn on my mental light. So many times, we know so much and fail to admit it or face it out of fear. We should be more fearful of declining health and grab ourselves by the bootstraps and change what we can. Thanks again for putting it all into words.
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Re: Tawanda

Postby katesmom » February 6th, 2010, 6:27 am

Hi T,
Wow the power of the spoken word is tremendous... THANK YOU...We all can see ourselves in your lengthy and heatfelt message..
I will surely tuck your thoughts close to my heart and if ever I am tempted again, no matter what I will make myself "feel" the emotion, and not eat the junk food.

I feel blessed by your message and perhaps you've saved a few lives because of it... Maybe mine ....xoxo

My prayers go out to you and your brother. I lost my brother 16 years ago to Leukemia. Not an obese issue, but still a medical one and I miss him dearly...May the dr's soon find some good answers for your brother.

Prayers & Hugs,
Pam :hug:
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Re: Tawanda

Postby Tawanda » February 9th, 2010, 7:16 am

No news on my brother, he is still awaiting appointments for more tests. Thank you for your notes.

I'm a bit frustrated right now (a bit?!). I am on program, have stayed on program except for one lousy chocolate chip 2 days ago. This morning I weighed 149! The scale is climbing .5# every couple days. Yesterday I made sure I was drinking more water (drank at least 6 cups of plain water along with my regular/normal amount of coffee). I also added in some Fiber Tabs the past couple of days and I've been feeling a bit 'off' in that respect. :oops:

I have been eating the puffs and the bars. Today I will cut out all puffs and go back to shakes (well, oatmeal was breakfast..). I am baffled by the weight stall and then the gain(s). It cannot be calories, I'm not consuming them.....but I am ready to do some hair tearing (mine) if this doesn't change soon. Darn body! Darn metabolism! Wrong way scale!!! :whip:

I should have taken measurements somewhere along the way.....should have. :tongue:

Good thing is that my clothes are fitting comfortably and I do not feel like I've gained a couple pounds.

I guess it is time to ignore the scale and just keep my head down, the water drank, the supplements on time and weigh that L & G.... The plan works, even though the darn scale isn't showing me the love. ;)

I hope everyone is doing well...
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Re: Tawanda

Postby lifelovinaries » February 9th, 2010, 8:21 am

:lol: I'm laughing, not at the situation but how i am telling the EXACT same story (gains, compliance, etc). Well at least i don't feel like i'm crazy now. For a minute i thought i was about to go out of my mind. Now it's a bit more comforting to know that someone else is experiencing it so, although rare, not impossible. whew!!!
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Re: Tawanda

Postby Tawanda » February 9th, 2010, 11:23 am

I don't understand it. I do not remember this happening earlier in my Medifast journey. It just puzzles me and makes me angry (oops....should have said frustrated......but I am angry). On Sunday I weighed 147.5#, which was a gain from my low weight of 146.5#. I didn't understand that gain. Next day (yesterday) 148.5#--WHAT?! another pound gain.... this morning...another .5# gained! Frustrating--anger!! LOL

It cannot be a true gain. It cannot!!!
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Re: Tawanda

Postby Joy » February 9th, 2010, 4:57 pm

My hopes for the best possible outcome for your brother!
regards,
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