The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[KeleeGrl]

Aww Donica, I'm sorry to hear your disappointed. We started around the same time and I'm kind of at a stand still, lose one pound one day and then it get that pound back the next day, even with compliancy...its irritating, but this is the time we really got to get through this and we will. That scale will start moving....its just got to start kicking in.

Way to turn down all the temptations....I'm proud of you. Let's stick with this and get to goal!

[SuzyQ66]

Donica - look how wonderful you have done so far. It will kick in again. It is so hard to resist temptations and when you succeed at resisting them but don't see any results it can be frustrating. But then one day - you are going to drop again. We go out to lunch at least once at week at work and I have turned the girls down the last couple of weeks. Next time I just might accept their offer and just bring my soup. Keep the faith Donica....you are already succeeding.

[DonicaB]

Thanks Kelli and Sue~ your words of encouragement mean so much. Don't worry......I may be a little down.......but I certainly am not out. It's going to take a heck of a lot more than a couple of missed cookies and slow loss to get me out of this. I am going to reach my goal........It may take me a year........but I am going to do it. I'm sure there will be times throughout this journey that I will be unhappy with my progress, but I'm not quitting.

Well, regardless of what the scale says tomorrow at the biggest loser challenge....I will know that above all I have succeeded because I have been compliant for about 51 days. 51 days of no cheating.......yipee for me! Hey.....I think that's an NSV. <img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_34.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D36%252F36_1_34/image.gif">

[SuzyQ66]

51 days!!! Oh WOW!! That is so GREAT!!! I hope your weigh in tomorrow goes well for you.....

[bikipatra]

Definitely an NSV!!!!!

[DonicaB]

Well, my weigh-in this morning went great. I somehow managed to lost 3 pounds since the last weigh in which was two weeks ago. I was so bummed yesterday because my scale showed only 1.5#......I guess I lost another 1.5# overnight. I was very surprised and quite happy.

Not much to say right now.

[bikipatra]

CONGRATS!

[KeleeGrl]

Way to go!

[SuzyQ66]

Congratulations......great job!!!

[DonicaB]

Thanks guys!

[Tawanda]

Congratulations on that 3# loss. Pretty awesome!

[DonicaB]

I've been doing a great deal of soul searching these past few weeks. I've been asking myself a few questions. Questions like.......Why do I let food control me so much? And......why have I used food to hide from my emotions and the world?

I think a great deal of my weight gain has stemmed from the loss of my mother. My mom and I were fairly close all throughout my childhood, except for my teenage years when I was rebellious. After I went away to college, she and I became close again. I was always very close with my dad.

In 1993, we were told that my mother had brain cancer (she was 52). We were told she had 12 to 18 months to live. She lived exactly 18 months and died on her 53rd birthday in 1994. I have not been the same person since that day. It seems like yesterday that I stood in that cemetery and said my last goodbyes. It is definitely a very emotional memory for me.

I have had to raise my sons without the wisdom and guidance of my own mother. My oldest son barely remembers her, my youngest doesn't remember her at all. It hurts to know they never really knew her.

At first, I lost several pounds because I just could not eat......and then I seemed to go to the extreme end of the spectrum on the opposite end of the scale. I began drowning my sorrows in food. However, nothing like I have done over the past 5 years. It seems I have progressed greatly in the amount of food I have eaten. I guess food is my drug of choice. I use it to mask the pain.

Unfortunately, I lost my father as well, but not before a huge rift in our relationship. I'm not really ready to tackle those emotions right now.

Sometimes I look at myself and think.......YOU BIG BABY! I see the things other people go through in their lives........things that I know are much harder to deal with than the loss of a loved one. I mean everyone deals with the loss of loved ones. Not everyone gains 70#. I mean 70#.....come on. How did I ever let it get to that?

I'm not very good at putting my thoughts and emotions into writing. It doesn't really matter because I know that I am writing this for me. I must learn how to find other ways to deal with the pain I feel. I believe I have a good start with MF.......but MF doesn't resolve the reasons I use food to hide. I have to do that. There have been several times that I have thought I have had my emotional eating under control......only to fail. I don't want to fail again.

[SuzyQ66]

Donica - I am sorry for everything you have been through. I have no clue what it feels like to lose a parent as both mine are still living. The thought of it scares me and what you have been through has taken a big toll on you. However, you are starting to see why you eat....that is a big breakthrough. I have no clue why I ate myself to fatness...you seem to have taken the first step in recognizing where the problem comes from - you can only go upward from here. Congratulations on the great job you are doing and for sharing your story....it has given me food for thought and I need to do some soul searching as to why I have lived my life eating out of control...and hiding behind my fat suit. Thanks!!!

[Tawanda]

Donica, my story of weight gain is similiar to yours, only it was my father who was diagnosed with cancer. I had become depressed about other things happening in my life a couple years prior and had gained about 20#, but once dad received the diagnosis and the 'time frame' he could expect, I began eating and I forgot how to stop. I believe this MF journey is going to be what stops this self destructive mode and helps me heal along with relearning to eat according to true hunger and stopping eating when I am no longer hungry (not when I'm full). I wish you the best in continuing to figure out your eating/food history and healing in your future.

[DonicaB]

Well, I'm a little hacked that after being compliant for almost 2 months, I've only lost 22#. I really expected to be closer to 30.

For 2 weeks in a row I've only lost 1# each week. I know.....I know.....it's better than gaining or not losing at all. Deep down I know that is true......but at the moment I'm very frustrated. I feel like I'm really giving this everything I've got......I've been tempted beyond belief, but have stayed compliant........I'm just too impatient I guess.

I knew there would be plateau weeks and slow weeks, but I've had very few really good weeks.

Just wanted to vent a little. Don't worry....I'm not gonna go pig out or anything. I will stay compliant even with 1 measly little pound.

DonicaB