I'd been slender most of my life, eating whatever I wanted and without exercise. But I guess age changes your metabolism (sigh). About 5 years ago, I lost 30 lbs in six months on Weight Watchers, then put it back on the next two years.
I'm starting to have health problems probably due to the extra weight and my carb/sugar addiction -- strain on my knees & ankles, acid reflux, lower back pain, tired all the time, and I fear I'm borderline diabetic (though the doctor keeps saying I'm not). Add to that sheer hatred of having to turn on my hands & knees to get up from the floor, the fact that I broke my wrist in a fall last year (would I have lost my balance if I hadn't had so much weight to hoist up? would my wrist have broken if it hadn't had to support so much weight?), the prospect of not being able to afford health insurance once my divorce goes through, and having to buy plus size clothes, made for a perfect storm of change. But the thought of slogging through 6 mos. on WW again, losing one measly pound a week, was daunting.
Then I heard about MediFast on an infomercial -- quick safe weight loss, no counting points or calories, breaking a carb addiction -- sounded great to me! So here I am...
Started on Sept 3. The first week was easy as motivation & the novelty of it all is high -- lost 2.6 lbs. Week 2, Day 2: Succumbed to McDonald's craving! OK, indulged myself the rest of that week, started again the next Monday. Week 3, Day 3: Fell apart again.
But this time I analyzed why I kept going off-plan.
1. Those bars! I thought about them ALL DAY, and since they were "diet food," I could not ignore them. (I have no trouble ignoring the box of brownie mix in the cupboard and other things not allowed.) I guess it was too soon to stop craving the carbs, or the bars are too much like the cookies/candy I love, so I ended up with 2-3/day. OK, solved that problem by bingeing on them to my heart's content until they were gone by the end of Failed Week 3.
(After staying on-plan week 4 & 5, I ordered more MF from ebay, and the package included 13 bars. I've had one/day with no problem but I eat it shortly before going to bed. I know it's not good to have them that late in the day, but I fear craving another one all day long. I have enough MF for 2.5 months, so once these bars are gone, that's it for a long time!)
2. Not eating every 2-3 hours = overly hungry. Add stress and/or being tired to that = no resistance at all. I wanted something filling, something comforting, something tasty & satisfying. Enter McDonald's. OK, make SURE I eat every 3 hours!
Week 4: Motivation high, stayed on-plan, lost 3.8 lbs.
Week 5: Felt very sorry for myself all week, but stayed on-plan, lost 3.8 lbs. again!
Week 6 officially ends tomorrow morning: Bored with the whole thing, but stayed on-plan, lost 3.8 lbs so far. But I'm stalling this week -- Day 4 I gained .6 lbs! Day 5 & 6 I weighed-in exactly the same. Those darn bars I fear! I have 7 bars left.
OK, let's analyze this. These bars are a reward for staying on-plan all day. Food reward, not good. Must get over rewarding myself with food! But... but... it's diet food! Well, I went two weeks without any bars at all, and didn't feel deprived. Have a chocolate shake with 1/4 tsp. SF raspberry drink mix in it instead (yum!). But isn't that the same thing... a yummy food reward? Well, nothing wrong with a food reward, as long as it's a healthful one, eh? At least try to have that bar mid-afternoon. See if you really crave another all day. What in the world will I do on maintenance if I can't handle an MF bar now?! OK, just had a Caramel Nut bar (to die for!)
Tomorrow I start some exercising. I discovered the Fit Channel, and have been taping some interesting programs -- yoga, learning belly dance & hip-hop dancing -- nothing too strenuous as I'm soooo out of shape. It's enough for now just to stretch and get moving a little. Will probably help with the stall I'm in.
Gawd, I HOPE it's just a stall and not the start of a plateau! I've been reading some scary posts here about plateaus lasting 4 weeks! I don't know how "Determined" I can be without any results for that long! I never plateau'd on WW, maybe it won't happen to MEEEE. I'm wondering if you just eat "normally" for 4-7 days when in a plateau, maybe that would jog you out of it. Or will your body pick up where it left off when you resume the diet... in a plateau? This is a dangerous thought, methinks
Any excuse to go off-plan, eh? Well, I'd be tempted to try it after 2 weeks without any results despite all efforts to drink enough, exercise, stick with it, etc. What would I have to lose? I wouldn't be losing anyway!
I must say, the expense of the MF food + the thought that cheating means losing 3 days of ketosis helps keep me from succumbing to idle temptation. And I overcame feeling sorry for myself by reminding myself that I CAN have whatever I want... no one's forcing me to do this... the question is what do I CHOOSE to have.
Although at this stage the plan has become almost habit and I don't much think about it, the idle thought of Twinkies and almost-looking-forward-to-a-plateau-to-try-out-going-off-plan-to-break-it makes me feel very guilty and weak. Makes me question if I really have what it takes to do this and then keep it off. Makes me wonder if I'll ever reach the point that healthy choices are JOYFUL ones and that a healthy weight is its own reward, rather than being motivated by health FEARS and self-loathing, and keeping myself in check by sheer willpower.
Geesh, that was a depressing paragraph.
But this diet is teaching me things. I bought a zucchini for the first time in my life. I never would have tried Eggbeaters. It's great! Looking ahead, I'm wondering if it can be used for baking, for quiches? How can I make my favorite baked mostaccioli more healthful -- use whole-wheat noodles, ground turkey instead of beef, half as much cheese. I never would have tried ground turkey -- I prefer it to lean ground beef actually. I can't believe I've never tried ICBINB... not bad! I discovered Walden Farms zero carbs/fat/sugar products. I love their pancake syrup, chocolate syrup, ranch dressing & honey barbeque sauce... and it's all guilt-free! (Did not care for WF seafood sauce though!) I've adopted the fork-in-the-salad-dressing technique. All these things will help me maintain later, I'm sure.
I have a little bit of everything each day, so as not to get tired of the things I really like -- one shake, one oatmeal, one soup, one hot drink, one bar/pudding/cold drink/or another shake. I had settled on the Beef Vegetable Stew, Chicken Noodle, Chicken Wild Rice as my soups of choice. I didn't exactly look forward to them, but they were OK. Well, I suddenly HATE THEM. I LOATHE THEM. I think they're responsible for this godawful taste in my mouth. It's not a metallic taste -- I developed a metallic taste while on strong antibiotics once, so I know what that's like. I can only describe this taste as what I imagine poop would taste like. None of the meals taste like that -- the taste appears in the late afternoon. Disgusting. I'm not having any more soup, to see if that solves the problem. I may not have any more even if it DOESN'T solve the problem, so great is my loathing right now. Gawd, I hope this aversion doesn't affect any other MF foods!
I don't follow the package instructions for the soup, as I ended up with still-crunchy bits and burnt-tasting liquid. I mix them in cold water, put in the refrigerator for 2-3 hours, then microwave 1.5 mins -- just enough to warm them up without boiling. Add a little ground pepper. They weren't bad, I ate them up. But they all have this slight undertaste which I believe later develops into a baaaaad taste that only repeated doses of Listerine will kill. We shall see. I've had no soup today, and no awful taste yet.
OK, I've talked myself out.
I was so depressed about this yesterday that I found myself going through cupboards, desperate to find something comforting to eat. Picked up a can of Progresso Hearty Tomato soup, but...
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