Determined

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Determined

Postby Determined » October 14th, 2007, 2:40 pm

Just discovered this Journal area -- what a great idea! I've probably bored my sister to tears talking about my diet, so I need to get my ramblings out somewhere else.

I'd been slender most of my life, eating whatever I wanted and without exercise. But I guess age changes your metabolism (sigh). About 5 years ago, I lost 30 lbs in six months on Weight Watchers, then put it back on the next two years.

I'm starting to have health problems probably due to the extra weight and my carb/sugar addiction -- strain on my knees & ankles, acid reflux, lower back pain, tired all the time, and I fear I'm borderline diabetic (though the doctor keeps saying I'm not). Add to that sheer hatred of having to turn on my hands & knees to get up from the floor, the fact that I broke my wrist in a fall last year (would I have lost my balance if I hadn't had so much weight to hoist up? would my wrist have broken if it hadn't had to support so much weight?), the prospect of not being able to afford health insurance once my divorce goes through, and having to buy plus size clothes, made for a perfect storm of change. But the thought of slogging through 6 mos. on WW again, losing one measly pound a week, was daunting.

Then I heard about MediFast on an infomercial -- quick safe weight loss, no counting points or calories, breaking a carb addiction -- sounded great to me! So here I am...

Started on Sept 3. The first week was easy as motivation & the novelty of it all is high -- lost 2.6 lbs. Week 2, Day 2: Succumbed to McDonald's craving! OK, indulged myself the rest of that week, started again the next Monday. Week 3, Day 3: Fell apart again.

But this time I analyzed why I kept going off-plan.

1. Those bars! I thought about them ALL DAY, and since they were "diet food," I could not ignore them. (I have no trouble ignoring the box of brownie mix in the cupboard and other things not allowed.) I guess it was too soon to stop craving the carbs, or the bars are too much like the cookies/candy I love, so I ended up with 2-3/day. OK, solved that problem by bingeing on them to my heart's content until they were gone by the end of Failed Week 3.

(After staying on-plan week 4 & 5, I ordered more MF from ebay, and the package included 13 bars. I've had one/day with no problem but I eat it shortly before going to bed. I know it's not good to have them that late in the day, but I fear craving another one all day long. I have enough MF for 2.5 months, so once these bars are gone, that's it for a long time!)

2. Not eating every 2-3 hours = overly hungry. Add stress and/or being tired to that = no resistance at all. I wanted something filling, something comforting, something tasty & satisfying. Enter McDonald's. OK, make SURE I eat every 3 hours!

Week 4: Motivation high, stayed on-plan, lost 3.8 lbs.

Week 5: Felt very sorry for myself all week, but stayed on-plan, lost 3.8 lbs. again!

Week 6 officially ends tomorrow morning: Bored with the whole thing, but stayed on-plan, lost 3.8 lbs so far. But I'm stalling this week -- Day 4 I gained .6 lbs! Day 5 & 6 I weighed-in exactly the same. Those darn bars I fear! I have 7 bars left.

OK, let's analyze this. These bars are a reward for staying on-plan all day. Food reward, not good. Must get over rewarding myself with food! But... but... it's diet food! Well, I went two weeks without any bars at all, and didn't feel deprived. Have a chocolate shake with 1/4 tsp. SF raspberry drink mix in it instead (yum!). But isn't that the same thing... a yummy food reward? Well, nothing wrong with a food reward, as long as it's a healthful one, eh? At least try to have that bar mid-afternoon. See if you really crave another all day. What in the world will I do on maintenance if I can't handle an MF bar now?! OK, just had a Caramel Nut bar (to die for!)

Tomorrow I start some exercising. I discovered the Fit Channel, and have been taping some interesting programs -- yoga, learning belly dance & hip-hop dancing -- nothing too strenuous as I'm soooo out of shape. It's enough for now just to stretch and get moving a little. Will probably help with the stall I'm in.

Gawd, I HOPE it's just a stall and not the start of a plateau! I've been reading some scary posts here about plateaus lasting 4 weeks! I don't know how "Determined" I can be without any results for that long! I never plateau'd on WW, maybe it won't happen to MEEEE. I'm wondering if you just eat "normally" for 4-7 days when in a plateau, maybe that would jog you out of it. Or will your body pick up where it left off when you resume the diet... in a plateau? This is a dangerous thought, methinks :D Any excuse to go off-plan, eh? Well, I'd be tempted to try it after 2 weeks without any results despite all efforts to drink enough, exercise, stick with it, etc. What would I have to lose? I wouldn't be losing anyway!

I must say, the expense of the MF food + the thought that cheating means losing 3 days of ketosis helps keep me from succumbing to idle temptation. And I overcame feeling sorry for myself by reminding myself that I CAN have whatever I want... no one's forcing me to do this... the question is what do I CHOOSE to have.

Although at this stage the plan has become almost habit and I don't much think about it, the idle thought of Twinkies and almost-looking-forward-to-a-plateau-to-try-out-going-off-plan-to-break-it makes me feel very guilty and weak. Makes me question if I really have what it takes to do this and then keep it off. Makes me wonder if I'll ever reach the point that healthy choices are JOYFUL ones and that a healthy weight is its own reward, rather than being motivated by health FEARS and self-loathing, and keeping myself in check by sheer willpower.

Geesh, that was a depressing paragraph.

But this diet is teaching me things. I bought a zucchini for the first time in my life. I never would have tried Eggbeaters. It's great! Looking ahead, I'm wondering if it can be used for baking, for quiches? How can I make my favorite baked mostaccioli more healthful -- use whole-wheat noodles, ground turkey instead of beef, half as much cheese. I never would have tried ground turkey -- I prefer it to lean ground beef actually. I can't believe I've never tried ICBINB... not bad! I discovered Walden Farms zero carbs/fat/sugar products. I love their pancake syrup, chocolate syrup, ranch dressing & honey barbeque sauce... and it's all guilt-free! (Did not care for WF seafood sauce though!) I've adopted the fork-in-the-salad-dressing technique. All these things will help me maintain later, I'm sure.

I have a little bit of everything each day, so as not to get tired of the things I really like -- one shake, one oatmeal, one soup, one hot drink, one bar/pudding/cold drink/or another shake. I had settled on the Beef Vegetable Stew, Chicken Noodle, Chicken Wild Rice as my soups of choice. I didn't exactly look forward to them, but they were OK. Well, I suddenly HATE THEM. I LOATHE THEM. I think they're responsible for this godawful taste in my mouth. It's not a metallic taste -- I developed a metallic taste while on strong antibiotics once, so I know what that's like. I can only describe this taste as what I imagine poop would taste like. None of the meals taste like that -- the taste appears in the late afternoon. Disgusting. I'm not having any more soup, to see if that solves the problem. I may not have any more even if it DOESN'T solve the problem, so great is my loathing right now. Gawd, I hope this aversion doesn't affect any other MF foods!

I don't follow the package instructions for the soup, as I ended up with still-crunchy bits and burnt-tasting liquid. I mix them in cold water, put in the refrigerator for 2-3 hours, then microwave 1.5 mins -- just enough to warm them up without boiling. Add a little ground pepper. They weren't bad, I ate them up. But they all have this slight undertaste which I believe later develops into a baaaaad taste that only repeated doses of Listerine will kill. We shall see. I've had no soup today, and no awful taste yet.

OK, I've talked myself out. :)
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Postby rodeomom » October 14th, 2007, 3:41 pm

Hello and welcome to MMT. Sounds like you know what you need to do and all of us here are more than willing to do what we can to help you stay OP.

First thing you need to consider is to STOP considering the bars "diet food", if they are such a trigger for you then you need to get rid of them. Eating them as your last meal is not good since it raises your blood suger too much before such a long period of no activity. You are also right about not allowing yourself a FOOD reward. Think of something else almost anything else non food it better.

Second, if you do go off plan the best thing to do is just get over it and get back on. What is done is done and you can only learn from it. If you are bored with the foods you should check out the lean cuisine area for suggestions on changing things up a little bit. Also, don't forget you can be a little creative with the L&G too. Maybe you should try some peppermint extract in a choc shake or pudding. As for the soups' lack of flavor, I fixed that by adding a boullion cube to them - WOW what a difference.

You have taken a great step in helping yourself get healthy by joining us here on the board. May I be the first to say that my email door is always open for anything you need. I am not an expert, but if I don't know the answer I WILL FIND IT FOR YOU.

Blessings on a great start to a brand new you.
09/21/07 - 12/21/07 Lost 80 Pounds Ankle Surgery 12-21-07
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Postby Out*With*The*Old » October 14th, 2007, 4:18 pm

GREAT start to your journal, Determined!!! Don't cha feel better already?!? I always feel cleansed after I journal - - even on a good day!!

I hear ya on the bars, I didn't try them for the first 10 days OP becuase I thought they would derail me! Now I really don't even want to eat my L&G so I have had them as I figured I was safe. I am enjoying them and pretty much will save them to eat for when I am away from home - because they are so easy!! I'll dump them in the future though if they become a trigger.

Welcome to the journals and congrats on your determined stance to start and restart and start as many times as needed to get healthy! You'll get there and you'll get tons of support here!

Hugs!
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Postby oubelqasse » October 14th, 2007, 4:22 pm

Try putting some HOT sauce in the Chicken and Wild Rice Soup as well as the chili. Taste much better to me.
Stephanie Stats:
RE-COMMITTED on : 03/30/2009
Starting Weight: 239
Current Weight: 234
Total Weight Loss: 5 Lbs
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Postby Determined » October 15th, 2007, 8:16 am

The good news:
1. Lost 2.4 lbs this past week
2. Had only a very slight bad taste yesterday evening after a day without soup.
3. Had a bar mid-afternoon yesterday, and did not crave another one at all! Didn't even think about it! Yippee!

The bad news:
1. Third day at the same weight. :shock:
2. After weighing this morning, I moved the scale & re-weighed -- and suddenly gained 2 lbs! No matter where I put it, I was 2 lbs heavier. Well, I guess all my weigh-ins should be 2 lbs higher, but weight LOSS would still be the same though. Pffft! What's 2 lbs? I vary as much as 3 lbs over the course of a day.
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Postby rodeomom » October 15th, 2007, 11:30 am

There have been many discussions on MMT about whether or not to weigh everyday. I, am probably one of the few here that does not get on the scales everyday. Since I am an extremely emotional (moody) and sensitive person, I know that weighing on a daily basis is not a good idea for me. Gaining a pound or not losing would send me running to the kitchen for anything that I have been denying myself for the last 23 days and that sure wouln't help. I weigh once a week, and so far I have seen progress weekly. You said it yourself, we all fluctuate in weight
throughout a single day so it is hard to get an accurate weight daily anyway. That is just my take on the issue of weighing daily or not. Take it or leave it.

Congrats on the bar situation. See I knew you had it in you. Now you should start thinking about little rewards for yourself when you meet your goals. If you decide that tomorrow you will not have a bar and you reach that goal then you should do something for yourself - an extra long hot bubble bath, 30 minutes doing something just for you. I told myself that for every 20 pounds I would spend $20 on a new article of clothing.

You are doing well and you should be proud of yourself!
09/21/07 - 12/21/07 Lost 80 Pounds Ankle Surgery 12-21-07
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Postby Joy » October 15th, 2007, 7:50 pm

Determined wrote:The good news:
1. Lost 2.4 lbs this past week
2. Had only a very slight bad taste yesterday evening after a day without soup.
3. Had a bar mid-afternoon yesterday, and did not crave another one at all! Didn't even think about it! Yippee!

The bad news:
1. Third day at the same weight. :shock:
2. After weighing this morning, I moved the scale & re-weighed -- and suddenly gained 2 lbs! No matter where I put it, I was 2 lbs heavier. Well, I guess all my weigh-ins should be 2 lbs higher, but weight LOSS would still be the same though. Pffft! What's 2 lbs? I vary as much as 3 lbs over the course of a day.



Hi new to your journal...

Don't worry about the sudden scale increases it could be salt or just before a woosh weight loss. Mornings are best to weigh in with an empty bladder. I was up 2lbs today and I plan to see a loss again very shortly.

Be sure to get your water (64ozs) a day and all your meals.

best luck,
joy
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Postby Determined » October 16th, 2007, 12:48 pm

Thanks to all for your great suggestions! I do like to weigh every day (sometimes more than once!). I think it's good to know that weight fluctuates quite a bit... that way I don't get frustrated by normal ups-and-downs. And if it's down... hey, immediate reinforcement! Plus, I can spot an upward trend sooner and take steps.

The bad news:
Some tests my ear doctor ordered which I thought would be covered by my health insurance... weren't covered. $1000 out of my pocket :cry: I was so depressed about this yesterday that I found myself going through cupboards, desperate to find something comforting to eat. Picked up a can of Progresso Hearty Tomato soup, but...

The good news:
I put it back in the cupboard. It wouldn't pay the bill, plus I'd just feel bad about =that= too! Was rewarded today with the scale nudging down another 1.4 lbs. Stall over? :clapclap:

Walked 45 mins yesterday, and will do that again today. Not because I want to, but because my car's in the shop. Just when I think I'm a bit ahead, these disasters strike. (sigh)

Saw a =hint= of my collarbones today! The real me is emerging!

My very favorite shake recipes:
(I probably got some from here!)

Vanilla shake + 1/2c water + 1/2c diet ginger ale + 1/2tsp Crystal Lite SF pineapple-orange drink mix + 1/4tsp coconut extract + 1c ice -- blend to slushy

Vanilla shake + 7oz water + heaping 1/4tsp SF lemonade drink mix + 1c ice -- blend to slushy (I use Walmart's store-brand equivalent of Crystal Lite if available)

Chocolate shake + 7oz water + heaping 1/4tsp SF raspberry drink mix OR SF Tang OR 1/2Tbsp instant coffee OR 1/4tsp peppermint extract + 1c ice -- blend to slushy

Orange shake + 12oz diet orange soda -- served over crushed ice
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Postby bikipatra » October 16th, 2007, 1:09 pm

So glad you put that soup back and your stall ended! Congrats! :) When those collarbones start to show it will be time to post a pic. We have a certain board member who is clavicle crazy and you will make her day. :lol:
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
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Postby Out*With*The*Old » October 16th, 2007, 1:21 pm

I'm with you, Determined, I weigh twice a day. Once in the AM, just out of bed after a bio break. Then again just before bed, again after my last bio break :-). I know I must be mental but I find it entertaining to see the difference 8 hours makes, lol. Plus, if its too high at the end of the day I know what kind of loss (or not) to expect in the AM. I only track the Am weight though.....yeah, I told ya I was mental!

GOOD FOR YOU for putting that soup back - thats a great NSV and then a loss too!!! What a FABULOUS reward!! WTG!!!! :clap:
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Postby rodeomom » October 16th, 2007, 1:39 pm

Even though we are not supposed to look for comfort in food I have found that even some of the MF foods are comforting to me. Who can argue with a cup of Chicken Noodle Soup on a grey rainy day?

You should be VERY PROUD of yourself for winning that battle. I know how hard it was. The next time will be easier, and it gets easier every time you make a good solid healthy choice.

Be good to yourself!
09/21/07 - 12/21/07 Lost 80 Pounds Ankle Surgery 12-21-07
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Postby Determined » October 16th, 2007, 2:57 pm

Out*With*The*Old wrote: thats a great NSV

What does NSV mean? I'd like to know when I have another one. :lol:
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Postby Out*With*The*Old » October 16th, 2007, 3:59 pm

I'm sorry!! Non Scale Victory! It means ya done good!
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Postby Sojourner » October 16th, 2007, 7:50 pm

Determined wrote:Saw a =hint= of my collarbones today!

Helloooooooooooooo clavicles!!!
~*~*~*Sojourner*~*~*~

Shake it gone, babeee!!!
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Postby Sojourner » October 16th, 2007, 7:53 pm

bikipatra wrote: We have a certain board member who is clavicle crazy...


Who, me????

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:roflmao:
~*~*~*Sojourner*~*~*~

Shake it gone, babeee!!!
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