The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[BerkshireGrl]

Hello all my fellow Medifasters!

I am on a formal quest to get this weight off. Yep, I'm up on my towering battle steed, with my saddlebags packed full of Medifast, and full armor on to deal with threats

Today I had a very productive day... I cleaned thoroughly, scrubbed out the bathroom, vacuumed, dusted, opened windows to let in some fresh blasting Spring breezes, redid my budget, and even squeezed in a pedicure. Oh yeah, and some girly pushups too

I am also 100% on track with my MF meals.

I have to admit some funny thoughts though... I feel like I am like a WEREWOLF in the sense that as it grows darker outside, I am more and more tempted to binge! Where does this insanity come from?! I feel steady on my feet in the morning and the afternoon, but as night comes, I get the cravings for bad stuff. (Luckily I don't sprout lots of dark hair and fangs, and eat my terrorized neighbors.)

VERY strange. Maybe it is because I made it such a long-time habit to spend my nights in front of the TV, watching some movie, and mindlessly putting away an entire pizza and a bottle of vino? And without that "entertainment", I am feeling empty and bored?

Does anyone else go through this? What are your coping strategies? Do you find that in time you are able to "re-program" your brain to focus on OTHER things besides fattening foods?

When I first started this Project Get Fat, I used loaves of Italian bread and gorgonzola cheese and wine... then I moved onto cheesesticks and wine... then pizza and wine and cashews. In case anyone wants to GAIN weight, let me tell you, these foods are the way to go! But the way they made me feel the day after, ugh!

Heartburn, nausea, exhaustion, body aches, headaches... not good at all. There were days I felt so bad afterwards, I would call out sick from work... But I would follow a familiar pattern of eating well on Medifast for a week or so, to the point where I felt thinner, healthier, happier, and then I would cave back into my cravings because... why?! because my body felt "cured" of illness and therefore it struck me as ok to indulge again... thinking there was no way I could feel as bad as I had in the past.

So, I was abusing Medifast as a temporary fix to get me up and running between binge attacks. Gee, THAT'S HEALTHY!

There is a part of my brain that is not satisfied with dieting, that wants to binge on 3,000 calories, that feels that destructive behavior is truly the high point of my day. We wouldn't do this right, unless there was some sick part of us that enjoyed it, craved it enough to put aside the body pains afterward? In no small way, it is an addiction like any other drug. The high is all that matters.

I confess that I have done some truly stupid things in the past to get my "fix." If you ever thought a binge-eater was separate from a drug addict, there is really not that much of a gap.

I have sold music CDs to use the cash to buy binge foods and wine. I have spent into my overdraft and charged on close-to-the-limit credit cards to buy them. I have used hundreds of dollars that came to me unexpectedly when my company was bought to buy them. I have even borrowed money from my family under the guise of needing "gas money" or "coworker's baby shower money" to do it. There is even today a part of me that worries when I have ANY extra money in my account that I will spend it on my cravings.

This is all hard to write but I'd rather let it see the light of day... and maybe someone else out there has beat this and knows where I am coming from.

I want to win control over this... and I know Medifast is such a healthy solution. In just one day back on, I feel my energy rising and my head clearing. I know my body needs this to regain its true shape and outlook, and I know inside me there is a skinny woman wanting to break out!

How did you get rid of the demons that drove you to overeat? Or if you didn't get rid of them forever, how did you strengthen your rational mind to beat them down into submission?

Or to use a medieval analogy... Medifast veterans, newcomers and all reading... how did you best your dragon?

[24KaratGold]

Does anyone else go through this? What are your coping strategies? Do you find that in time you are able to "re-program" your brain to focus on OTHER things besides fattening foods?

Find something to do with your hands that is incompatible with eating. Reading isn't, because you can read and eat at the same time. Pick a craft like sewing, knitting, or crocheting. Then if you do want to watch your favorite shows on t.v. in the evening, pick up the hand work and work on it. It's not compatible with eating because you need both hands and because you won't want to eat anything and possibly get the materials you are working on dirty.

If you don't know how to do it, take a class somewhere that will teach you. That will have the added bonus of getting you out of the house and away from any temptation at home, especially if it is an evening class.

Good luck.

[raederle]

24K-- that's a great idea... I might steal it from you and re-learn how to knit. I learned how to knit simple stuff in college from a friend of mine; I think I produced 2 scarves and 2 stocking caps... Berk, if I can knit, trust me when I say anyone can. Few people on this earth are less coordinated than I am!

Another idea I wanted to share is, if trying to completely deny all foodie thoughts doesn't work, you could try redirecting them-- start gathering low-fat gourmet recipes to use when you reach goal. You might want to wait til you're confident you can trust yourself to read magazines like Cooking Light without stirring up foodie cravings. Maybe that's now, but maybe it needs to wait a couple of months. But I found that focusing some of my free time/energy on planning future healthy meals helped me (1) prepare for eventually weaning myself onto real food, (2) feel comforted that once the MF weight loss stage was over, all these great foods would be waiting for me, and (3) educate myself on low-fat, healthy cooking, good nutrition, and portion sizing.

If that won't work, maybe getting yourself out of the house at night would help? I sometimes like to go to my local Barnes & Noble and browse for a couple hours. To feel less deprived, I'll sometimes go to the Starbucks cafe in the store and get an Italian soda made with sugar free vanilla syrup (my B&N carries DaVinci). The great thing about bookstores is that you can spend gobs of time there without buying anything ($ saver!), and they never kick you out! While you're there, you might wander over to the self-help section (egads!), where I never used to venture til I finally needed to look for a book by Linda Spangle called "Life Is Hard; Food Is Easy." (I thought only weird, desperate people went to that section. Turns out I was right! I was weird and desperate!)

Linda wrote the Success In a Shaker Jar book, and someone here on the board recommended this other one; it's really an eye-opener and discusses the link between overeating and emotional "issues," and gives practical advice on how to identify what really makes you binge and how to quit doing it. There are several other books on binge eating there, too (I browsed for some time!), and many seemed interesting-- I'm not suggesting you need therapy! But I found 'em helpful, and I at least felt less alone after reading up a bit... We're not the only ones who love to pack away 3,000 calories in a sitting! I love that gorgonzola, too!

Hopefully some other folks here will share their coping strategies, too. I'd love to know what others have done to break out of the cycle.

[bk]

I have done a couple things with my extra time! (which comes from not only eating, thinking about eating, making food, but also going to the grocery store, which always takes up a huge chunk of time).

1) Spend more time with my friends.
2) Go out more. Not drinking, but to friend's houses, various events, etc.
3) Since college & law school, I really neglected personal reading. You know, for FUN! I had so much other stuff to read, that I really didn't feel like reading anything else. One of my New Year's resolutions was to read a chapter of fiction per night. I like to read in bed, and I do NOT eat in my bed, so I don't have an issue with reading + eating.
4) I have spent many, many hours cleaning out my closets. Since I'm mostly done with that task, I moved to organizing my handbags, cleaning them up, stuffing them with paper, etc. Then I cleaned out my jewelry boxes and reorganized those!
5) I've been working on some publications that have been sitting around waiting to be finished.
6) On the weekends I have been trying to get out and do active things. I would have NEVER done this before. It used to be that we would spend all day Saturday grocery shopping, making some ridiculous dinner, etc.
7) I'm an on and off crafter, and I do like to try new things. I really want to make myself a wood bead necklace, and as soon as I get the supplies, I am going to do it! I also took an oil painting class once, which was tons of fun.
um, shopping. A couple years ago I revamped my wardrobe and got lots of compliments. I kind of let my wardrobe go, because I wasn't feeling too great about that.

I see MF as a way to totally change my entire image, top to bottom. And it's not just the way I look. It's my feelings about myself, my career, my personal relationships. I want others (and myself) to see me in a certain way, and I'm going to make sure that happens. Basically I'm trying to get my priorities straight, and focus on the things that are important to me. I find that keeping a journal helps. I'm not a huge emotions writer, but I like to capture ideas and thoughts for later to help me plan.

And, now I'm so busy with my LIFE that I don't have time to excessively worry about food!

As for TV, I like it. If you don't like TV, and it was only an excuse for bingeing, don't watch it. Have you tried exercising for your "high"? Or maybe organizing some sort of competitive activity with your friends? (Me, I like bowling!! Especially because I win!!!)

But you have to plan ahead! Where are you getting these binge foods from now? Is your kitchen cleaned out of the bad stuff?

bk

[doglover]

Hey Berk. I am not going to say I have figured this out because I am definetely a work in progress. A couple things I thought of when I read your post, which I applaud you for writing. It was so open and honest that I really had the feeling that you are starting with one foot on the right path! I truly believe food is an addiction, just like drugs/alcohol. It has been PROVEN that certain food do make our body react in a physical sense so we honestly DO feel better. It is not just a psychological thing - it is a physical thing too.

So, approach this like any other addiction. You will always have to deal with this problem. You will need to control it every day. Know what and where you are triggered. Is it TV? If so, you may need to avoid it for a while. Is it a certain friend? Maybe don't go out with them for a while. Is it a particular store? Change stores, or drive a different way to avoid it.

As far as suggestions on what to do to occupy your time: I love the B&N idea of Rae's! We spent 3 hours there yesterday. We love that place and I read a great book called Volumetrics! I also am not one bit crafty, but decided to paint and got a paint by numbers kit! It is really fun and before I know it two hours have passed!

Good luck with your soul searching. I will continue to read these responses as I know they will help me as well!
Donna

[chickbb]

Hey Berkshire girl! You hang in there...You can do it !!!! You are WOMAN!!!! I agree with Raederle, I just love the book "Life is Hard Food is Easy" by Linda Spangler !!! It has helped me soooooo much w/ my emotional eating and learning how to NOT focus my life on food. For the first time in 36 years, food is not the most important thing, its almost last on my list. I feel so satisfied on MF , full of energy, & so happy to continuosly see the scale go down, I couldn't be happier.

I too have been doing a lot of projects around the house. Reorganizing all in my life. I play a lot of solitair to keep my hands busy and read a lot from all of you here to keep me motivated and grounded. Everyone here is so amazing!!

[want2Bthin]

Hi Berkshire girl. I am an addict as well. I spend alot of time in prayer. I told God that I can not do this alone and I gave it to him. I have been doing better on this program then I could of ever imagined. He is awesome.
Angelia

[BerkshireGrl]

Good morning everyone!

Thank you so much for all the wonderful ideas!

I am going to be back tonight... but I wanted to pop in and say I am doing great on my Day 4 now back on plan. Day 7 is usually when I spin off and do something dumb, but I think I got it now That pizza-eating werewolf image is just too memorable hehehe!

Worst thing I've done in the past couple of days is have an extra cracker packet, or some Wasa Fiber Rye crackers with a Diet Coke, but nothing taking me over 800 calories a day.

Ok, gotta get ready for work, my nutty high-paced job that keeps me hopping. Thank God for the shakes... you know almost no one I work with takes a lunch break? Maybe 10 people out of 70 employees. You'd think we were curing cancer or something rather than designing and printing real estate marketing stuff.

Next on my list - YOGA

[BerkshireGrl]

Before I hit the hay tonight... I wanted to tell you all I bought a couple books: Life is Hard, Food is Easy and My Big Fat Greek Diet.

Figured anything to help with my messed up crazy pizza drives is good! And I have read from a few on here that both these books are very helpful in getting down to the nitty gritty of binge-eating. Like Rae, I am weird and desperate too! (Thanks Rae for that confession - you and me both, Gorgonzola Lovers Unite!)

Today I got my new rowing machine delivered... all 70 pounds of it! It's a beauty. While getting it up the stairs, pushing from the bottom of the 7 foot box, I reflected that, WHOA this was HEAVY. Then I realized at my goal weight, I will have lost 76 pounds.

Hmm. Need to reflect on that.

This box that was kicking my butt pushing it up the stairs, on an incline no less, with no real resistance since the stairs were carpeted.... weighed LESS than the extra fat on my body.

I think an added photo to come, when I hit goal, besides me in the bustier top, is me going to be holding the rower up over my head. Or at least the less bulky half of it! Guess it wouldn't be good to knock myself out with a steel I-beam in the process!

76 pounds. Once, I looked into shipping another rower model overseas to New Zealand. Because of the bulk and the weight, the CHEAPEST rate I could get from FedEx was close to a $GRAND$, yep, $1,000 clams.

And just think, we get to ship off our flab for $2 a packet at a time.

Not a bad deal.

Good night, folks.

[raederle]

Hey, Berk.... your struggle to install 76 pounds of rower made me smile... Yep, imagine pulling that rower out of yourself and shipping it to NZ forever-- one way, no return address, no round trip here! I'm glad you're back from Boston and back on the road to melting flabbage.

I hope the reading helps some-- I think the books themselves are good reading, and I find that reading about losing weight (even though I'm reading while sitting on my butt on the couch) makes me feel like I'm doing something positive to get the weight off. It's hard to read an uplifting and encouraging story about someone else's diet experiences and successes, and then go into the kitchen for some gorgonzola! So the reading helps keep me focussed when I might otherwise start feeling deprived... Hope it does the same for you!