The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Carrie]

Well, tomorrow's your day huh?

Time to put your Medifast where your mouth is, LOL. I'm sorry I've been so absent - the flu knocked me on my fanny for the better part of a week.

A few things that came to mind based on our previous posts....

While I do think it's very necessary to adopt a serious attitude about MFing - I think there is a danger in having an 'all or nothing' attitude. I have seen this lead many people to just quit in frustration. In effect saying 'if I screw this up I'm a failure again.' is like giving yourself an out clause. When you screw up you throw your hands into the air and declare yourself a bonafide failure and proceed to prove it by eating anything and everything. I played this game for years. Except I was so good at it that I exercised my out clause before I even started the diet. I knew I couldn't do it so why bother trying????

I am not in any way saying that it's ok to deviate from the program - trust me it's much easier to stay on the path, than to find it again once you've been wandering. What I am saying is that 'all or nothing' attitude does not, cannot, sustain itself in daily life. We're all human, and we are all gonna lose a stare down with a plate of nachos at some point in our futures. The key for me has been to take a few steps back from the 'commando do or die' mindset and alter it to a 'I'm going to live this decision every day of my life' attitude. That means the good days are great, way to go, and the bad days, well they're just bad days, they'll pass and I'll do better tomorrow. It in no way excuses me from the fact that I've still got 50 pounds to lose, what it does is give me the opportunity to be kind and loving to myself. I'm not running a race, I'm doing this FOR myself, because I want to take care of myself. And it means there is no out clause. This is it, I am changing my behavior to something more life-affirming and healthy, today, tomorrow, etc. If I overeat, it's my responsibility and I do not fash myself over it. I think it through and keep on living. I think for me, this idea, that I'm having such a hard time expressing, is the key to why I have lost what I have and kept it off.

It's about looking at the bigger picture. Not the single moment of eating or not eating. When I'm really jonesing to eat something, I am totally focused on that one moment, and sometimes I cannot see past the brownie in my fingers to the size 14's I want to fit into. It's a conscious effort to remove myself from the impulse of the moment, and shift my focus to the rest of my life.

The good news is that you don't have to get to your goal weight to start having a life again. I had pretty much shut myself off from any kind of life before I lost some weight. Now, part way there, I'm living life as I haven't been able to do in years. I used to be young and thin and extremely self-conscious - always wondering what everyone thought. I traded that for being still-young, but fat and just as self-conscious. Now I have discovered I am not-so-young, not-so-thin-but-not-so-fat-either and I don't care one goose feather what anybody things. Somewhere along this journey I acquired some self-confidence, and baby let me tell ya, it feels great. So don't be thinkin' that your 'life' is quite so far away - it's closer than you think!

Ok, I gotta go back to bed now. Strained my brain.

Carrie

[jene115]

Carrie, thank you for thinking of me while you're still in a flu fog. Yes, I'm in the batters box, ready to step onto the plate and hit the ball out over the fence and start take that victory jog around the bases of life back to home plate. Home plate for me - reclaiming the girl inside, the thin, happy, vibrant, bubbly, giggly, goofy girl I am. I don't care if I'm on the other side of 40, I don't care what people think. For the first time in my entire life. I'm doing this for me. Not for my dad, not for a boyfriend, not because the doctors say I should lose weight. I don't even care if my doctor nixes this diet. I know it works, I know it will work and I know it's the best possible program for me.

I do tend to be an all or nothing person. Eat one meal off program, well I blew it, might as well just finish off the rest of the day and start again tomorrow, but for me, tomorrow never comes. More like four to five years later! I know things will get hard and I know that I'm just going to say forget it, I can't do this any longer and I will probably have lapses here and there, but I can commit to do this for a day, if need be. Success begets success and one day can turn to two and two to four and so on. I know I will have a great weight loss the first week, and once I get out of the 290s, I'm not looking back.

I'll tell you what my motivation is. I have no knees. After sleeping all night, I can't even walk to the bathroom in the mornings. I have to hold onto the bed, then a chair back, then the door knob to just get in there. After the stiffness and pain subsides somewhat, I can walk better. Everything is so much harder now. I stopped shopping because I can't walk that well. I order stuff online to avoid it. I stopped going to lunch functions with the ladies at work because all the restaurants in the tunnel (Houston downtown tunnel system) are so far away, I am always bringing up the rear of the line and it hurts so bad and I'm so out of shape I'm breathing hard once I get there. I get overheated very easily and I sweat and it's very embarassing to me. When I vacuum my house, I have to do it in shifts because it wears me out. Losing weight will give me my life back as far as mobility, but what it will do for my thinking and emotions I can't even fathom right now.

When I feel sorry for myself, get bored with the food, have a hard day, want to cry, I'm going to remember how the weight has affected me, how it's robbed me of the joy of movement. Life is a struggle now sometimes. I'm in pain physically and I finally got to the point where I'm angry that I let my weight get so out of control that it has affected my joints, my blood pressure and even my lymphatic system. I want everyone to know I'm taking my life back. I moved back to Houston because I hated cold weather in Colorado. I love the summers here. I dream of the day when my hair has reached my waist, I'm thin, and can finally go outside in the hot, humid Houston summer and be wearing a tank top and shorts. (I haven't worn a pair of shorts in public since my 20s). I had a taste of life when I lost 51 pounds before and I want that back and more. Fat has already squandered the last 15 years of my life and I'm not going to give it another chance to take any more of it.

[Karen]

Jene... your story is mine in a nutshell. I started MF at 295 just three short months ago. I had stopped doing so many things... telling myself I was just getting older....nah, I was just getting fatter. I can remember when I was 190 pounds telling myself there was no way I was going to ever weigh 200. (I am about 5'2 or 5'3), hmph! Before I could enjoy all the pizza I wanted I was just under 300 pounds and it ached to work, it ached to sit and it even ached to lay down. Three months and FIFTY POUNDS lighter wooohooo.... I am going to lose another 100, there is NO doubt in my mind. I already feel so much better, so much lighter. As my hubby says, I can't even lift 50 pounds! I have no idea how I drug it around with me for so long. There are times when I "want" something to eat that is not on program.... but, I get myself busy, get out of the house (I still don't like to be left alone on the w/e's) or call folks or take a bubblebath or whatever I can til that feeling passes. Then I fix myself a wonderful chochalatey thick creamy shake, put it in a beautiful glass and sit back and sip and enjoy, and admire my new "self" determination. I spend the rest of the day with a wee smile on the outside... and a huge grin on the inside. I have won that battle!!!

[jene115]

Thank you Karen! We have one other thing in common, sort of. My birthday is November 8, the day you started MediFast!

[Sylvia]

Hi Jen and Welcome!

I also live in Houston - just moved here a couple of years ago. I love the weather but decided it was too dang hot in the Summers to be fat here! Went on MF last May 3 and got to goal November 10!

This Summer I will be wearing shorts and tank tops!

Where in Houston do you live?

Sylvia

[jene115]

Hi Sylvia,

I agree about setting goals, then I started thinking about it. For years 115 lbs. has been my goal. (I'm just shy of 5'1"). I decided not to think about 115, but just keeping going (I think it will take me almot a year). 127 was a set point for me in the past and I wear it well. If I get there, and I like it, well who knows. At this point, 199 is going to send me into ecstasy! I want to see that "1" on the scale so bad!

I won't be in shorts and a tank top this summer, but next, you bet! I live for Summer 2006, lol I live in Northwest Houston, in the Cypress area, 1960/290. Work downtown, so it's a haul Monday-Friday!

[Sylvia]

Jen,

I live in Spring and work in NW Houston a stone's throw from Cypress so we're neighbors. Can't imagine commuting downtown every day - must drive you crazy! Also sounds from your posts like you're a lawyer - I am too.

Anyway, congrats on your decision to do this. As you know, the first few days are tough but after that it gets easier and easier, better and better. Not only will you lose weight, but your health will improve dramatically.

Feel free to PM me if I can help in any way.

Sylvia