The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[sheila]

Hi guys. I just dont know where to begin, as I sit here typing, drinking reisling, and eating chips and dip. As some of you know, I have been trying to sell my business here in Hawaii. Its not going so well. Also, my husband is in Virginia right now with the military, and he is being a complete jerk on the phone. I have made the decision to not call him again while he is away. I am worried that if this business doesnt sell, I am on the egde of Bankruptcy. I just feel like saying"screw it all!" So, cheating on this diet was by far the least distructive thing I was thinking of.Plus drinking, I had given that up! I got saved on Easter, and quit. But now, here i FIND MYSELF ALONE, WITH 2 BOTTLES OF THE STUFF. fUNNY HOW SOMETIMES ALCOHOL AND EVEN FOOD ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS.I have prayed like you wouldnt believe, and God isnt listening. At least it feels that way right now. Ive been married for 16 years! 16 years is a long time. I have moved around with him, and sacraficed being with my family back in Missouri for so long. And for what ? To be treated like you know what? He expects me to stay here and deal with all the bill collectors and run the business and run our household, and to him, it is a BIG DEAL when I put a sign up at the salon that we will close at 6 pm rather than the normal 9 pm just while he is away for the week. Does that seem selfish on his part to anyone else....or is it just me??? I am sorry for rambling, but it has been a long time since I have drank, and I am starting to feel the effects after just 1 glass. Sorry.

[alpha femme]

sorry you're having a hard time.

i just got out of a relationship of 6 years right before i started medifast. i am not saying you are getting out of one-- but i understand the incredible feeling of hopelessness, frustration, and pain you can feel when things aren't going well.

i just wanted to say that when everything else around you is giving you grief, that is exactly the right moment to do something for yourself. at the end of the day, no matter what happens with your business, your marriage, your anything... you have to take care of yourself.

where ever you go, there you are. do you know what i mean? i hope and feel confident that your situation with your business and husband will all come together. but regardless of those outcomes, you will still have to deal with you. be a little selfish and get the things you want from the lifestyle change you have started. feeling good inside and knowing you look good outside gives you confidence.

that sounds like what you need the most of right now.

[sheila]

I know what you mean, and I will jump back on tomorrow. I just needed that feeling of being numb tonight. I know I am not finished with this weight loss yet. Who knows, if he keeps being such a mega jerk, I may be looking for a replacement in the near future. Gotta look good for that. I am just so darn mad right now! Hes allergic to pennicillin, and believe me I have been having some BAAAD thoughts!!!!Kidding, guys, only kidding.

[MARIE]

SO SO sorry this is a rough time. Marriage can be such hard work--believe me, I have eaten many times for comfort when my husband and I have been at odds--then I feel terrible, then the cycle goes downhill from there. We have all had pain and have felt like there is no hope or no joy, so please know you are not alone. And sometimes God does feel very distant. But that is okay, because He is still with you--He never goes away, even when we feel like He has. I am not trying to say that as a platitude, just from experience!
I will pray that you draw the comfort that you need from Him, and from those around you that you can lean on. Keep posting here--we are with you!

Blessings,
Marie

[sheila]

You are right. I know you are speaking from experience, and I do appreciate you listening. I just feel like Im sinking. I feel like things are just sooooo bad. I even thought of driving my tahoe of into the ocean! How crazy is that?

[sheila]

My daughter keeps takin the dip away, she says "NO mORE dip or wine for you MOM"

[Arklahoma]

Hope things are better for you today!!!

[Amber]

Good Mornindg Sheila-
Daughter's are just sometimes no fun, huh?
Hope this day finds you more settled & at peace, I hold you close in thought today :hug:

[smartipantz]

Morning Sheila!

Hope all is well today... we are all just thinking about you. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward. You have done so well on the program, I'd hate for you to give up all your hard work for a moment. I understand the stress eating but try to overcome. Not only are we here to lose the dreaded poundage but we are also here to recognize our triggers and make lifestyle changes.

Sheila, no one really knows what you are going through except you. We just care about you and want you to be successful in everything you do

Hugs,

Smarti

[Elke]

Morning Shelia, I sure hope today proves to be better for you.

[dede4wd]

fUNNY HOW SOMETIMES ALCOHOL AND EVEN FOOD ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS

Sheila, I've been there honey. I got some bad news yesterday and it was amazing how I looked over a the peanut butter cups at the store...walked past them and walked straight to the vodka aisle. I've been working for MONTHS to break these stupid habits that either one can help me! I walked past those aisles, but it really angered me that I walked to them in the first place.

I've never been married, so I can't give any advice about that...but I do have a Marine for a dad...I agree with Alex totally:

i just wanted to say that when everything else around you is giving you grief, that is exactly the right moment to do something for yourself. at the end of the day, no matter what happens with your business, your marriage, your anything... you have to take care of yourself.

where ever you go, there you are. do you know what i mean? i hope and feel confident that your situation with your business and husband will all come together. but regardless of those outcomes, you will still have to deal with you. be a little selfish and get the things you want from the lifestyle change you have started. feeling good inside and knowing you look good outside gives you confidence.

I'm here for you if you need to talk!

DeDe

[Sarya]

Financial difficulties put an amazing amount of stress on us; as do marital difficulties. Having been through both a bankruptcy and a divorce I figured this out very keenly.

Sometimes you really do just need to step back and be numb as you said. The problem lies in if it becomes a crutch, a regular occurence. But once in a while? I don't see it as a bad thing. I know people disagree with me, but they don't live my life and perhaps in theirs it is different.

So today is a new day. Pick yourself up and move on. Do what you need to do to make your life happy. If your husband doesn't like that you close the store early well... he's not there to keep it open, only you are. This is what I say to my friend who's fiance gets mad at her if she doesn't do all the household chores when he feels they should be done. If he's not the one putting forth the effort he has very little say in my opinion. He's not living your life; you are.

I hope you are able to sell your business and don't need to file. The process itself is just as stressful as being financially unstable, but in the end it gives relief. Still. it is a better relief to pull yourself out

I also hope that the stress you are both going through doesn't have a negative impact on your marriage. Sixteen years is a long period of both good and bad times. I'm sure more good ones will come again.

[2saturn]

Sheila,

[supermom]

Hey Sheila--I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. Remember when I was having a hardtime with school? I know how you feel. It feels like no one understands, no one cares, and nothing is EVER going to be okay again. But, I promise, it will. In my experience, all the times that I thought God wasn't listening, it was just the opposite. I wasn't listening to what He told me. God knows what is right for us. Problem is, sometimes we don't want to accept it. We think we know what is best for us. And, we are NOT always right!! Although getting back on program is important, and realizing your food triggers is important, I think that recognizing the REAL problem and getting to work on it is MORE important. My husband travels a lot. We are apart a lot. We have lots of financial woes. More than you can imagine. We have over 2 million in hospital debt alone. Then there are the credit cards that we are behind on because of missed work to be with our kids at the hospital, etc. It is a HUGE stressor on our relationship. I FINALLY got my husband to realize that he was treating me like crap and that I cried myself to sleep every night. He told me he just feels like such a failure. He feels like as a man, he should be able to provide a comfortable life for his family, and it just isn't working out that way. He feels like he has let me down (I grew up with a VERY cushy life). He hasn't let me down, and I told him that. As long as we walk hand in hand and handle all of our problems, whether financial, physical, emotional, etc... together, we will be fine. Your marriage will be okay. You just have to want it bad enough. You will be okay too. You are just going to have to listen to what God is telling you. Hang your head high, and don't be afraid to seek out help. Tell your husband everyday that you love him and not only that, but that you are thankful for the things you have in your life because of him. Sometimes we just get caught up in a rut and forget to remind people how much we really do appreciate them. You have my numbers. Call me if you want to talk. In the mean time, put your big girl panties on and get back to business!! The task at hand is not going to be an easy one, but you can do it.

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[FluffyNoMore]

Sheila,

I'm sorry that you're going through so much right now... why does everything seem to happen at once? I hope you're feeling better today. I know that as hopeless as things seem right now, everything will work out and you'll come through the otherside. Don't give up on yourself.