The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[smartipantz]

OK, I have to ask this question.

In the last week, I have had two people make statements to me that have me a little bothered.

One of my bestest of friends told me on Friday that I have to be careful because my face is looking too thin and don't loose too much more weight.

Then yesterday at a wedding, my aunt saw me and said "Keri, you are looking too thin.... you have to stop!!"

Now, according to the BMI chart, I'm still considered "overweight". I have my goal set at 145 which is the top of my healthy weight category. I only have 7 more pounds to go......

I'm chalking it up to ........ people have seen me overweight for several years now and my face and body are changing dramatically. I look different, but I really don't think I look bad.... neither do other friends or my hubby (who matters most!)

Has anyone else had these kinds of statements made?

[Prancer]

Definitley havent heard it lately but I did hear it often when I was on WW and lost weight before I had kids. I am 5.7" and I was at 165ish. I had people telling me all the time that I had gotten too skinny.

[Arklahoma]

I still have a lot more weight to lose, so I've never had these types of comments but I would definitely go by the BMI chart.

[jump4joy]

I've heard that EVERY TIME I get within 10 lbs. of my goal (done it three times in the past ten years). People always say that! And I'm sure I'll hear it AGAIN later on this year when I'm getting closer to goal. In fact, I specifically asked my hubby the other day to PLEASE not say that I'm getting too thin when I'm in the 140's, because it just isn't helpful to me and I don't want to hear it (and at 5'2", there's no way that I'm too thin in the 140's OR the 130's!). People mean well, but I agree that it's because they have been used to how we looked overweight. There were a few people who said that to me that I suspected might be a little envious or didn't want me thinner than them. Most others were just well-meaning, I think. EVERYONE seems to have an opinion!

I saw you myself at the airport a few weeks ago, and I think you look fantastic! NOT too thin.....you looked very fit, beautiful, and healthy to me! Once people get used to the new you, you won't hear that anymore.

Joy

[Jen]

I think it is a type of backhanded sabotage from "well meaning" people. Could be motivated by a bit of jealousy, and it fits into the "you can't win no matter what you do" message.

I would go by the BMI charts.

[smartipantz]

Thanks so much for the kind words! I really don't think it was a jealousy thing at all...... my best friend wouldn't do that. However, I really do think it's that they have seen my heavier for the majority of my life and they just are seeing a different person.

Thanks again I need to get to this BMI weight!! Arg!!

[alpha femme]

there are other factors, too. skin and muscle are the main ones. my ex had a bypass. she weighs about 120 and is 5'2. sounds ok, right? nope, she looks like skelator. why? she has at least 20-25lbs of extra skin. so, really, she is as emaciated as nicole ritchie after a 2 week fast. other people have a lot of muscle and weigh more-- but have less body fat.

i think that if you believe people have genuine concerns, buy a pair of calipers and check out your approximate body fat. i agree that some people ust aren't used to seeing people thinner-- but i also think some of us are so in the clutches of body dismorphia that it is dangerous. and no, i don't mean anyne specifically from this sight. i just mean that with any kind of weight loss there must be a concrete way of becoming self-aware.

[Drama Queen]

Hi Smarti,

I definitely have had very well meaning friends say the exact same thing to me over the past month and a half. I know they are very well meaning but they don't know really how much I do weigh. They think I'm weighing in at 115-120 which would be too thin for someone at my height of 5'9". When I tell them my goal is 148 pounds, which is a very healthy weight for my height and small bone structure, they seem to calm down. They are just not used to seeing me thin after years of being overweight.

On the other hand, I went to a Party on Friday night that was a reunion for a bunch of friends that lived in NYC during the 1980's. Most of these people I hadn't seen in 20 years. I was the talk of the party, not because I had lost weight, but because I looked just the same as I did 20 years ago in NYC and they had all gained weight!! Talk about a great NSV!!

[Mike]

Actually, I look forward to the day when this happens to me,although I don't think that it ever will for a couple of reasons: 1. I honestly don't think I will ever reach 179 lbs as the BMI chart says I should be... as the top number, and 2. Guys just don't hear that sorta thing unless they are WAY underweight.

[Diana]

Hey, Smarti!

I wonder, too, since the statistic is that America, in general, is getting heavier if people have lost their sense of what a healthy weight looks like. And I also think csula (Alex) is right -- we're going to have some loose skin over developING muscle tone. Brings to mind pictures of starving prisoners, not people getting healthy.

I wonder, as this starts sweeping the nation and America starts getting healthy again, if people will begin to accept what the body looks like in the various stages. Wouldn't it be cool to look at someone and recognize what STAGE they're in and not take their current state as something static?

You look beautiful! I don't think you look too thin; I think you look fabulous! Yes, everyone has an opinion -- just like when you're pregnant or have been diagnosed with something. And encouragement isn't a well-mastered skill by the masses.

My standard reply, "Thanks for your interest/concern." I might throw in an "I hear what you're saying" or an "I'll keep you posted," but I don't try to argue the point. I just try to acknowledge that I heard them and remain neutral.