sidrah

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Hi

Postby dede4wd » July 18th, 2006, 12:34 pm

Hi,
Your last big post really affected me. I did the same thing. I didn't tell anybody that didn't NEED TO KNOW that I was on MF. I didn't want them to see me fail again. I also didn't want them to make "you look so great" comments just to keep m motivated.

No one made a comment until I was well into 30lbs. I was also still wearing my old clothes. It took to me buying something that FIT before people started noticing. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't just want the blanket cheerleading and you look so good, unless they REALLY noticed that I was changing. I understand that completely. I like your theory.

I hope you have a safe trip home and that your back feels better.

DeDe
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Postby sidrah » August 13th, 2006, 9:50 pm

I guess now that I have more than 5 seconds available to me, I should write in here again. School started up last Tuesday and time has been non-existent. I begged for an Emotional/Behavior Disorder room and boy did I get it. It saves the other teachers from some temperamental wraths of HS kids, but I take the brunt of it, but in the end it helps more students and teachers than the extra work it brings me, so no real worries.

I have to replenish the supply closet, so I am going to go for the RTDs. I have my college mini fridge in the car loaded to go into the classroom tomorrow, so they should be nice and cold when I need them. You have no idea how much time and worry that saves me. I have decided to go for something new for a month to see how it goes. I think I am going to have my Lean & Green for breakfast and then supplements throughout the day. Obviously I do more during the day so it seems as though that would be the optimal time for burning off some of the meal. The only issue is that I have to be at work by 715 and I already leave at 630. So, I have to prep the night before and make sure I am set to leave by 630. I am not the best at waking up early. I would prefer to sleep an extra 15 minutes than wake up and do breakfast. So, we shall see how that goes.

To be honest, I have been low on food and have not been fully following any plan. My schedule was not really conducive to it the last few weeks. I didn't eat horribly, just not exactly every 3 hours, though the water I always get in. That has helped. Some clothes I bought for my mom's funeral a few months ago fit very easily last week when they didn't fit then. Also, some other pants and shirts fit much better, too. Anyhow, now things should be even better. I think I am sticking to shakes and oatmeal for a while. I don't mind hot choc and chai, but I have some of them still left. I find that like the crm of broc soup and many others with the exception of chili, but it is way more convenient to make the hot drinks and oatmeals in school. I like those the best, so I am gonna stick with what I like to make things easier. I am just waiting to hear from Nancy about some HA questions I had, then I am good to order!
My W key is sticking, so ignore the typos.

Nice to be back...
Don't really care as long as everything's better than yesterday was...

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Postby sidrah » September 3rd, 2006, 3:04 pm

Well, this sucks. I went to place an order from this site and learned that my 3 digit number on my credit card, on the back, is scratched off-- wear and tear, I suppose. So, when the bank sends me a new card, then I can place my order completely. I always ordered from MF, so my info was stored. I guess I just haev to wait now. I am down to stuff I am not a big fan of.


I did buy Creamy Italian WF to try with tuna....haven't done it, yet. I have lots of tuna still--25 cents a can last week. I also have cottage cheese, so that will be what I will be eating. I have tomatoes and spinach for the vegetables. I will switch it up in a week or so. If I run out of food, I run out. I have been eating regular low sugar oatmel for some meals. It will be back to normal when everything comes in.
Don't really care as long as everything's better than yesterday was...

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Postby sidrah » March 21st, 2009, 3:15 pm

I have been meaning to start writing in here again and as I sit and read what I wrote back then, I realized that 1) I have no recollection of some of those things that I made or cooked or did or said and 2) my mom died 2 years ago and some of the last posts in my journal involved my mom

Conclusion: It's been too long since I have written in here and likely too long since I have tried hard enough to be consistently on the plan

So, I figured I should just sort of re-fresh and update and re-start.

I am not that big on writing about myself. But, I feel like I can be vague enough and clear enough at the same time that what I am writing is still able to be generalized to have some meaning to it.

I have all of these food packets in the kitchen. I have a new order of those crunch bars in my car----they should be brought in so they don't melt---- and I got a new box of tomato soup so I can try those crackers out.

Little background for those who cannot remember, never knew, or never cared. I am a HS special ed. teacher. I usually have self-contained behavior and emotional disordered students. This year I am back to teaching Algebra and Freshman English in a resource class. Same work, slower pace than general ed. classes would be.

To say my current principal asks a lot of me would be like saying Niagara Falls is kind of like a backyard sprinkler. He thinks department heads should do all of his work, send it to him and then let him take credit for it. On top of that, I am teaching 5 of 6 classes a day that I have to prep for and during my planning period (if we can call it that) I have to work with the special ed kids at the charter school on campus. Don't get me wrong. I love these kids and have known most of them for 7 or 8 years depending on their grade. I started with them in jr. high and followed them up to HS. So, every year a new group starts and then one of my old group graduates, but I always have that one new 9th grade group there with sophomores-seniors being my old group.

I have had literally no time to sleep or do anything not associated with school. I think I am a little depressed or something. I look back now and see that ever since my mom died I just have no motivation to do anything. So, I feel even worse when I see that what my goals were two years ago, they still are. I still have to finalize my proposal and finish the dissertation. My coursework is completely done.

This school year has been ROUGH. It started okay, tehn the principal, little dictator that he is decided to impose his arrogance and cockiness all around. School is like walking into a war zone. NO one person is happy to be at work. Even the people that the principal treats well (I am thankfully one of them because I know my stuff and do my job well), get upset as seeing how he treats the rest of the 99% of the staff. So, I do almost nothing but school work. I should be working on IEPs right now instead of doing this. On the home front, I let my brother and his almost-wife girlfriend forever move in with their 1.5 year old. I love the baby, but coming home to pretty much taking care of her all night lets me do little school work. I was used to just coming home and working on school stuff. In retrospect, not healthy either, but I was never behind on school or homework like I am now. I look and see everyone else going home and not doing work 20 hours a day and started to think that if I am overwhelmed at work then they are jsut going to have to realize I cannot do that much work in one week and still come home without ulcers. I spent almost all of this school year sick because of that.

My dilemma right now is whether or not I should move to San Diego. There is a job fair the first weekend of April and I planned to go. I think with a spec. ed. background I will find a job. My other brother is already living there and has been for a few years, so I would probably get an apt. with him so we can live somewhere nicer and afford it rather than a cheaper place in a bad area. My other brother, gf, and baby will move out there if I do, too. I don't mind that. But, I really like most of the people I work with and after 8 years in the district feel like I have proven myself and am good at my job. I do not want to leave the people I am friends with, but I cannot handle another year like this one. Maybe it was the principal's job in his mind, but he makes me feel incompetent and I am not in any way incapable of doing a good job and am great with kids and parents. The school board votes Monday night, but that will play a big role in whether I stay or not. Even if he is gone, I still have other dilemmas to consider.

I rally want to move to SD, but am worried I won't get a job. I guess that is silly since I have always applied and received the jobs I wanted. But, I only apply where I know I am qualified and capable. I just don't want to walk in and be pre-judged. I know I am in a comfort zone here, but I don't think that is so much my concern as having to prove myself to another group of people. I know I am smart and work well with my teachers and the kids. I just wish I knew some more people in San Diego or knew I would at least have something to go to. Yes, I will have family there, but I hope also that I can meet some new people. I am just confused now.

So, on that note, does anyone know any school districts in SD that I should be on the lookout for? I like the Hillcrest area simply because it is a nice little town feeling where you could walk around and go into little shops and cafes; I could care less what the majority of the people in the area are (it is known as a gay area) and to be honest, I think that I would enjoy it there because it is so different from Phoenix. I am not from Phoenix but I moved here when my parents did. Now that my mom died, I feel no compulsion to remain here. I am not a fan of the education system and desire an overall district closer to where I grew up where education was paramount.


I feel like I am babbling. I am watching The Real World Reruns and I now feel like I have absolutely no problems!!! Okay, so I hope someone might have some ideas or ideas to ponder for me.

As for myself, I am going to continue visiting and writing even though most of the people I started with years ago are gone. I think it inspires me to read new slants on things. For my sanity I will write in here everyday and if for no other reason, use it as a place to vent.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Teresa
Don't really care as long as everything's better than yesterday was...

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Postby nickieluv » March 21st, 2009, 5:23 pm

It sounds like you know what you want to do, and are maybe waiting for someone to tell you it's a good idea? I think having a good principal makes all the difference in the world (I'm a teacher too) and I say if you want a change, go for it!! You'll be lucky to have family there and you know you'll meet lots of people at school and in your new neighborhood.

Good luck making the decision - I have one of my own I'm mulling over so I'm not one to talk, but as someone 'saddled' with a husband and kids I am envious of your ability to just pick up and go. So do it and I can live vicariously through you. :lol:
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Postby sidrah » March 24th, 2009, 12:29 pm

Nope, not saddled. Yay me! I couldn't imagine that. I have no clue what I am going to do next school year. There are so many pros for going and so many for staying. There are still maybe one or two things that I am concerned with. Simple little things that I guess I could do but I am just opposed to them asking me to do just to work in CA. No one understands and they just keep telling me to suck it up; I'm ready to just quit and do nothing and figuer it all out later when rent is due. All of this gives me such a headache.
Don't really care as long as everything's better than yesterday was...

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Postby nickieluv » March 24th, 2009, 12:53 pm

I can understand - they ask so much of you to become a teacher in the first place, and then to make it so darn hard to get and keep certification (although I'm one of the lucky ones who got in under the wire for permanent NY certification, I have seen what the new teachers have to go through) - it just doesn't seem fair sometimes. Maybe your reticence to do those 'little things' is your way of making the decision without really having to make a decision, you know? California will be there in another year we can assume. My mom has a saying - 'when in doubt, do without.' It's served me well in the past - if I'm just not sure what to do, then I don't make a change. Mostly I use it when considering whether I really want or need to buy something, but you can apply it to looking for a new job, too. When I left my first two jobs, it was for something better, and it was an easy choice to make. The fact that you're having such a hard time might mean that you're still comfortable where you are and not ready to take the risk yet of relocating.

I do understand - just look inside and see what you really desire. Like you did when committing to weight loss, in fact. Find what you really burn to do, and then do it!
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Postby sidrah » May 23rd, 2009, 7:18 pm

I am bad at keeping up with things. As I wrote in a prior post today, I am not good at planning things out. I am better just doing things as I think of them. It serves we well in a classroom. I admit I write lesson plans just becuase I have to and then do what I want as the mood of he room shifts. They learn what they need to learn but it is too hard to have prescribed plans in a classroom of fickle behavior disordered kids.

Unfortunately, that carries over to everything. I plan out vacations, but the rest kind of comes ot me and i do it. I shop like that, too. I go the aisle of whatever I need when I think of it. My lists usually have very little on them. I shop as I run and ingredient list in my head. Sometimes I am in the same row 3 times. That's just me. My brain never stops running and I am happy to work on the go.

But, that is the reason I kind of suck at this. It is not that I don't know what, when, or how to do things. I just am really bad at planning ahead. Now, summer is here- at least for me- and I can do that again. I have the time to get into a routine that is not planned so that I can work it into my day when school re-starts.

My goal is tomorrow or Monday to start for real. So, we will see.
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Postby nickieluv » May 24th, 2009, 10:00 am

Summer is here and we will all be asking for new clothes for Christmas. :lol: Off to the races we go!
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Postby dede4wd » May 24th, 2009, 1:19 pm

Yay, restart Monday or Tuesday!

Yay, Teresa's moving to my side of town!

I don't really plan things either, except kick-heiney vacations!

Let's do this!
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Postby sidrah » May 24th, 2009, 4:55 pm

Ha. Totally not starting today as I finish up my tuna sandwich. I am moving soon, so I don't want some of this stuff to sit there and I spend money on other food. So, I am making plans today for food for the dinner meal for the week and then I can begin Monday.


Spinach, mushroom omelette came up when I was talking to my aunt. Sounds good. I have to stock up on canned vegetables...just enough until I leave in 2 weeks.

My aunt is coming out for about 10 days and we were going to go to Laughlin for some of it- she's a casino freak- so I wanted to start now before she got here. I can get a way with dinners there and do my own thing the ret of the day.


I still do not plan on telling anyone what I am doing. Some people think I should just say it so it is easier and I can be helped if I need it, but I kind of feel like it is no one's business.

I was doing well on it and then my mom died and every time I think to re-start I just get time or plan-challenged and don't do it. My mom died the day before Easter and I feel like the 2 years since I am just such a complete failure because things are no different now than they were then. I still haven't stuck with this long enough for there to be a difference and I still do not have my dissertation completed.

So, so much for being the smart one in the family. Most of the people in my class are done and have the PhD business cards. Not me. I don't care about the cards or the titles or honestly the degree, anymore. I just want to be done with it and not have it hanging over me. I feel like people expect me to be so smart and do everything so right that I just cannot figure out why I am screwing this one up. Lately it is easier not even to try anymore and hope maybe they'll stop expecting anything of me and lay off a little.

My brother/gf/baby are getting there own apt. Next door to me is fine, just not in with me this time. So, that will reduce the stress, I hope. I just keep thinking something's gotta get better because it can't get much worse.


Not doing anything tomorrow but paperwork for school, so it should be quiet. Have a good BBQ day!
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Postby oksoonergirl26 » May 25th, 2009, 7:22 pm

I hope things work out for you! I don't always tell people what I am doing, b/c most of the time they just don't get it. I have a friend that is still confused and keeps trying to get me to eat more, not understanding that I have to have Medifast meals, not just more calories....oh well-I try to avoid situations with her and food. You mentioned that a 5K was your goal. I didn't really have a goal, I just wanted to start exercising and I have never really seen a plump runner girl. I have never enjoyed running/jogging, I preferred walking. A girl I work with suggested that I work out with her to train for the 5k. I went in with the intention of walking only and the first one I did, about a month ago, I did walk the entire thing. There is no shame in that. I started on the treadmill and would tell myself to get under 20:00 a mile and decrease by 30 seconds each time. The initial weight loss from the first three weeks of MF made a huge difference in how I felt on the treadmill. I would do 1.5 miles, 2.0, 2.5 and finally worked up to 3.1. I found it was easier to jog on the treadmill at home. I have serious issues with people "seeing" me exercise. The treadmill gave me the courage to try to jog outside, however; it was not the same and I am still frustrated that I can't do as well outside as inside, but oh well. So, just take that first step to a mile, once you adjust to being back on the plan. Have fun at the casinos!
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Postby nickieluv » May 26th, 2009, 6:22 am

My opinion is that being on a diet is a need-to-know issue. My husband needs to know, but no one else does. It comes up, because my brother and his wife and my mother are all trying to do MF (my mother is the only one having success at this point - I hope to join her there!), but nobody makes a big deal of it anymore. I have been off and on so much at this point that I figure they are just waiting it out until I order pizza again. But not this time!

You do what you feel right doing. If you need support, then you might decide to tell someone later on. Or not. Entirely up to you!
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Postby sidrah » May 26th, 2009, 10:08 pm

Ahhhhhhhh. Need to know basis... Sometimes I wish I didn't need to know.

I am going to start posting how it used to be with daily "What's for Dinner" and recipes and something just to see what gets going. LIke I wrote to nickieluv, I tried to come on more than once day on purpose to catch up with and respond to all the posts overflowing the mailbox and the unread pile. Now, it is a little slower, but that doesn't mean anything.

Lots of people read and don't necessarily write back. It takes a line or thought that some may feel silly about writing that is the impetus for another.................butterfly effect. So, write away, I say. You never know what your one thought- as little as it might rank on novelty or importance to you- means to another person. Just because there is not a written response, do not be discouraged that there is not a mental acknowledgement.


Yeah, so I had RTD shakes that I think might have to be thrown out for passing the exp. date. I had one in the car on the way to work and when I got near the bottom some funky taste was working its way up the straw. Not sure...The rest tasted okay. So, I had the other stuff with me, packed it up, sorted it, and then true to form, prompltly left it on the kitchen counter when I picked my bag up. Figures....I realized all this when I was looking for my 32 oz. gatorade bottle of ice cold water and frozen lemons. Yup, I had the stink of rancid soy on my tongue and none of the agua or my other well-packed supplies. A friend bought lunch so I had the chicken inside a burritto. No sauce just the chicken, but there was jalapeno cream cheese on it, so I had that. Sooo good. But, anyhow, helped me realize that all the runs to the bano are not worth it. Can't wait till Wednesday to start. I wanted to drink the shake this AM just to have something in my stomach. Plus, I like soy, so that works for me....

There is nothing I want to do more now than eat 6 MF meals a day and forego the Lean and Green for a while. I think I have to buy a multi-vitamin because the packets are close to or recently expired. Eh, same stuff; I'll be fine. I missed that ice water so much this morning, though. 45 minute ride and no money in teh wallet to get a cup of ice. It sucked.

I gave up soda for Lent. Not because I had a lot of it...maybe one at lunch and if I ran into the store, I picked a bottle up that lasted a few days. Mostly, I drink cold water anyway or mix in a packet of the MF stuff. I can get a 32 oz. contained and use one packet...strawberry lemonde is the best...for 2 days. I just keep refilling the ice and water when it gets halfway. Residual flavor carries over. But, anyway, a friend at work gave up soda and I figured I would, too. So, yeah Easter has come and gone and I decided just to give it up completely. Don't miss it at all. Was never really a big soda person. If I am out I either get iced tea or water, sometimes lemonade, sometimes juice. Usually the water 9 of 10 times. If I get juice or lemonade it is so sweet I end up drinking half and having 4 glasses of water to flush it out. Plus, water is free in a restaurant, so money saving tip #1.

But, yeah haven't had soday or much else than water in long time. So, I am okay on getting all the water in. I try to drink 3 or 4 32 oz. bottles and then keep refilling them, so who knows how much I end up drinking a day.

I am just going to work through all the stuff I have before I order anything else. I am okay with some of it being expired. I hope this posts okay since I am not saving it. Back to the rant..........I found soy crisps I forgot I had. 3 boxes of them. I stuck the bars back in the freezer. I still have some I am sure are melted in my car. Last order was over a month ago and it is still sitting in my car from when I picked the box up. I have still never had the Maryland Crab soup. Want to try that one out.

Actually, Rescue Me is on and I am running out of thoughts for here. Gonna go back and post in some other forums. Tata
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Postby Karli » May 27th, 2009, 7:38 am

Hey Teresa, Let's kick it today !! :exercise:
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