The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[hawaiiwhatnot]

I'm here to say that I sometimes feel "Why do I have to go through all this sacrifice? Why do others get to enjoy life so readily and easily and not live with feelings of guilt and bad images of themselves". And I could go on and on and on about my inner rantings to myself.

Watching the Labor Day Telethon last night, particularly the segment on little Maddy who died a few months ago, and the absolutely amazing attitude that child had writing poetry and expressing his hopes for peace in this world, I cried my eyes out. God bless him and what he did.

This brings me right up to how pathetic I can get thinking only of myself sometimes. My God, how it could be so much worse. I have a problem with food. It can be fixed for God sakes! I don't have a terminal disease for which there is no cure! Thank you Medifast. Sorry people, sorry God, I just lose the right perspective sometimes and think only about the small stuff. I'm back on track now.

Camille

[MomJackieLee]

Camille-

My job at the ER wakes me up and puts me in perspective right often, which is a good thing. As a counselor I see and hear many things and it makes me grateful for the life I have been given. After a difficult session with an assault victim last night, I picked up an Emily Barnes book I was reading and where I had left off was a phrase about how compassion and helping others allows God to minister to others through you. Brings life back into sharp focus. At these times my little financial woes, struggles with weight, messy house and any other annoyances seem very petty and unimportant.

I have decided to love me regardless of my size and to use that love to help myself just as I do others. I am not looking for a quick fix, and I am doing this much slower than some others. But I am making progress and improvement!!!

[DutchChoc]

Well, we're lucky to have the option of continuing to work at self-improvement rather than face a hasty death, by far. It does feel like sacrifice - we're sacrificing access to all the stuff that was "rather" bad for us in excess, I'd say. What we're gaining is a new perspective that "life is really ALRIGHT!!" It isn't about feeling disappointed in ourselves, and thankfully not. Time is short, and the earlier in life that we're able to make peace with ourselves, the better it's got to be.

What I do think is that this is not necessarily a shakeable condition. Maybe I'll be different, or maybe I'll do things "differently", but time has shown me over and over again that this is one problem that might not be going away for good. For all the people that say this is the "last time", I swear there are ten times that many who will have to do it again. Just my opinion. It's great to be the minority who really does become "fixed", no doubt, and one can aspire to be "only that" and do all the things that will help preserve the success and make it so. In any case, we should be thankful for wanting to try to do what's good for us rather than abandon all hope, and be kind to ourselves for our humanness, too. There are worse problems.

[need2succeed-nli]

hawaii,
I feel the same way a lot of times... I get to feeling sorry for myself, but eventually I remember the blessings that I've had and continue to have everyday. It helps to keep things in perspective. Good luck!

[Carrie]

Camille,
I think many of us feel that way from time to time. I experience anger because 'I have to do this', and I do feel sorry for myself once in a while. I think it's natural to feel that way.

For those of us that ate to feed our emotions/heart this is akin to that way of life 'dying'. I know that I grieve sometimes for my old ways - for the bingeing and 'quick fix' of food. I actually feel sad that I am not doing it anymore. And sometimes I'm angry that I'm not.

But I console myself with the fact that THIS way of life is healthy, not destructive, life-affirming not denegrating, bolsters my self-esteem as opposed to destroying it, and results in a more positive outlook. This way of life, ultimately, makes me feel GOOD - the old way of life, made me feel bad.

Also, when I feel those self-pity type things - I think that that thought process is distorted. I think things like 'How come I can't be like all these skinny people and never have to worry about this stuff', 'If only I were like her, everything would be perfect in my life'. Well, reality is that life isn't perfect for the skinny people either. I usually remind myself at this point about one of my relatives. She's 5'7", and a size 8. She thinks she's fat and is always dieting. Constantly 'deprives' herself of the 'good food' she wants. This beautiful woman spent $6,000 to have FOUR pounds of fat removed from her thighs. Can you imagine? I was with her Saturday night and she was drinking (I was not ). The majority of her conversation was about the skinny people around her, how hard she works to exercise, how she only eats rabbit food, how frustrated she is with her body, how insecure she is, etc, etc. By the end of the evening I was truly miserable. But it serves to remind me - putting on rose colored glasses about 'other peoples' lives is just not valid. I vowed to myself that when I reach my goal weight I am going to APPRECIATE it - not spend my life running myself down like so many people do.

And finally, I remind myself that I have made this bed, and I must lie in it, until I do the work that'll get me out of it. I can either do it with a positive mindset or a negative one, and I choose to be positive.

Anyway, that stuff usually works to get me out of a pity party - maybe it'll be of some use to you.

Carrie

[elle4nelly]

Camille my friend,

Take a good look at what some of us have left to lose. You've got 20 or so lbs to go. I've got 91lbs. The way I see it, that's life. But if you stay focus in another 4-6 weeks YOU WILL BE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello??????

I on the other hand my beloved friend, I've got 4-5 months before I can get to the best " ME". Oh I did indulged in pity party...but I don't know about you...but to me..they serve no purpose but maybe throw you off track. You see? WE ARE NOT ON MEDIFAST FOREVER. It's A mean, A vessel to get to A goal. That's it. Yes...while we're doing this...somebody somewhere is eating chocolate and blah blah....But if you just say to yourself..okay..this stuff is tough and boy I wish i could be at goal...then just get up and keep going.
Trust me...it's a tough journey...just an hour ago...some dude in the office came around with a box of butter cookies handing them out to everyone...I was like " No tanks"..he gets that offended look...so i grab one ad say "Tank ya"...eyeroll...as soon as he left ..the cookie went in the trash. I feel bad, BUT..really....I've got 91lbs to go...and no more pity party for me...months will go by fast for me and 6 weeks will go by fast for you. Allow yourself 10 minutes a day to pity yourself and then go on.

You'll be so beautifully skinny by November. I'm exited for you Camille!! So should you. You're so close to your goal girlie! Keep trecking!

Nelly

[Nancy]

Camille ~

I really appreciate your honesty!

Yes, there are days (okay, there are weeks and there are months and maybe even lifetimes) of feeling like so many others have fewer ‘issues’ than I do.

I HATE it that I cannot just eat a bag of Micro pop corn and have half a loaf of baked bread WITH butter and jam and not gain about ten pounds.

I want cookies. Real big fat oatmeal cookies with raisins and a cup of rich coffee with canned cow. Now I could have it but then if I did, it could also lead to another bad food choice and then another. A few big honkin’ oaties w/raisins could lead to 265 pounds in a big fat hurry, too.

I will always have to watch what I eat. There are some who will cry, “Not Fair!” She worked so hard; she should be able to eat whatever she wants!

There will be some who say that once they reach their goal weight that they are going out for their favorite dinner or stop at Krispy Kreme, etc.

I’d rather have to watch my grub intake than to sit in a wheelchair or have those mean braces on my legs. I CAN have pie, I CAN have a KK, I CAN have steak & garlic smashed taters but not every night and not without consequences.

Just know that in the process of becoming thinner, there are days when you want to stand in our closet like I did and yell, “Make Me Thinner!”

All the wishing and hoping, yelling and bike riding, weight lifting and shake shaking won’t hurry up the process any faster.

Our body will do its ‘thang’ according to its schedule. Drat! Sorry Hawaii Friend. Wish we could just say Aloha to the lard-o and have it immediately bip off. In its time, it WILL come off and what a luau day that will be! Hula lula - not a pork out day but a dancin’ and celebrating day!

Love ya for being such a lovely lady!