The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[explorthis]

Another of the clan in need!! I received this PM yesterday. One of us is in need of a group GUIDO hug. I don’t know how to respond to this one. I would like to solicit some “help and support” from the group before I reveal the one in need. This person is a regular, and we all know this person as a regular poster.

Let’s help with convincing words. Once this person reads their post here and gives me permission (which I know they will) I will reveal the name….. HELP!

Message:

I have been quiet in my corner not signing in because I have been totally off course!!! I don't know what's wrong with me!!! I want Thin sooo bad I dream about it but find every excuses to sabotage my self. What is this? Lack of profound desire, un-disciplined? I need you to say something here that can help me. I have the basic underlying desire. I have the vision and the goal but I'm like a car that stops and starts and soon I’ll throw away the car keys and say " Forget this". I don't know Mike.....I need the bridge between the desire and the goal. The “Missing Link". Maybe I need a psychiatrist!!!

Anything you say I am sure will be of great help!

Thanks!

-Mike

[Guest]

I can share my experience with you, but it's up to the person to actually make it happen. I first started Medifast the first week of February. I stayed on it about 2 1/2 weeks and lost 25 pounds. I then went off for no apparrent reason except I found it difficult going out with my friends and other social events and not being able to eat regular food. Plus I love to jog for miles each day. Anyway I would start again, then stop, then start, then stop. I would try other diets while I would be off of M.F. and of course did not stick to them. I would for some reason always come back to this forum. Even when I felt that I would not stay on plan I still came back. I would miss the unconditional support and caring of this forum. I missed the unconditional acceptance and understanding that I wasn't always able to get, even from my own friends and family. I decided that as long as I didn't give up, eventually something would click and sink in and I would be able to stick to this plan and succeed. I would even read through all the posts even when I wasn't on the plan, just to let everything start to sink in to my brain to prepare me for when I was ready. I realized I was addicted to food so I made a committment to do the full fast. That right there was a big help. Addmitting to myself that I was addicted to food made me realize that for now I would need to seperate myself from food completely. Which is great because on any other diet out there you still have to eat food to lose and for an addict that is not easy to control your portion intake. If it was we wouldn't be over weight to begin with! That also meant that for now I needed to stop jogging, which I chose to do because I know for right now, diet is more important than exercise in the very beginning to lose the weight, so if I have to pick, I pick my diet first. I can start exercising later, when I'm thinner and can enjoy it more! I can't describe it , but you will know when you are really ready to commit. Until then, the main thing is DON'T GIVE UP!!!! No matter how many times you start and stop, eventually it will sink in and you will make that committment. You only lose the battle if you give up. As long as you don't give up you will always have a chance to make it happen. Today I realized that if I had stayed on program from the beginning, I would have been at my goal by now. I will be at goal 5 months from now. Building a new house, the kids getting me frazzled, my husband working around the clock with no "us time", driving out to Colorado with my aunt and kids for 6 weeks ( without my husband. He has to stay behind because of the house being built), work, etc. nothing will stop me this time. I come first for a change! Losing this weight will make me happy and I deserve to be happy and so do you! I figure if I'm going to be an overworked, frazzled, stressed out person, then I'm going to be a GOOD LOOKING THIN ONE! (hee,hee) Hope this helps and good luck. YOU CAN DO IT!

Kelyn

[Guest]

Sorry forgot to sign in...the above post is from me...star85 (Kelyn)

[Sylvia]

I think this is really the key question - how do you turn the desire to lose weight (which we all have) into the reality which seems so hard to achieve. Like most of us on this forum, I have been on and failed at many diets. I am succeeding at this one and plan to be on this forum like Mike, long after I've gotten to maintenance.

So what is different this time? I think it's the level of commitment I feel and my willingness to make weight loss a priority in my life.

Just before I started this plan I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that in many ways, I have it all - great job, wonderful husband, 2 beautiful kids, enough money, good friends, etc. Despite all of that, I was still not happy. I realized it was becuase I was unhappy with and disappointed in myself. I was 75 pounds overweight. I was out of shape. I was starting to not be able to do all of the things I wanted to do. I wanted to be able to keep up with my kids. I didn't want to be viewed as the "fat mom".

I decided that the only thing making me unhappy was me and I decided one Sunday afternoon to do something about it. I decided that it had to be something both different and extreme since weight watchers and more traditional plans clearly were not working. It also could not be too time consuming since time is one thing I have little of. I did some research, found this forum, bought my product and haven't looked back.

I feel so good now - not only because the pounds are coming off (but they are - 27 in 7 1/2 weeks) but because I've made this commitment and I know that I'll stick to it.

I don't know if this will help anyone else. I kind of think that you need to make a determined decision and then maintain a laserlike focus on executing it.

[Landylue]

If I crumpled to the floor with chest pains, what benefit would it be to me to crawl over to the corner and stay quiet, not asking for help? Admitting our weaknesses and shortcomings to each other is how we gather strength, acceptance, and, if needed, forgiveness.

Even if you spill out your feelings and frustrations as an unlogged-on 'guest', JUST DO IT! You don't need to 'show your face', but you do need to extend your hand. We'll grab ahold and get you through.

Until then, go to the Elevator portion of this forum and read 'Fail or Succeed', and then every other post in that section. It's good stuff.

We are definitely here for you.

Landylue

[Echo]

I heard before that people are not usually successful the first time they try to lose weight or quit smoking. But, with each failure we should learn something about what is keeping us from our goals, and try to change it. Then next time we try maybe we won't make the same mistakes.

If you don't already, try keeping a daily journal. I keep mine in my notebook on the computer because it's easy to update and edit. I put my weight, inspirational phrases, my goals (not just in weight but also things I'm looking forward to, like going on a cruise and wearing a bikini again)

I also plan rewards for myself; when I reached 20lbs lost I got an italian charm bracelet. Most importantly I put what I'm frustrated with, the challenges I have and my plan to overcome them next time I'm presented with them. Like, if my family orders pizza I will go take a hot bath with all the goodies; candles, music, facial, bath salts, shave, lotion etc. Usually by the time I'm done the pizza is gone and I don't care to have it anymore anyway.

And, if you do slip and have something off your plan try not to give in. Put on the brakes! Go brush your teeth. Do something active if you can. And write in the journal what happened and why you think it happened. Most importantly, don't give up! If you have a bad day, do like Nancy says, don't do it two days in a row.

This is a long post, but those are the things that really help me when I'm feeling really weak. If you take one day at a time you will succeed! Just as every journey begins with a single step, every pound lost begins with a single shake. We are all in this together, You have a whole group of people who understand how hard it is, don't be silent, let someone know what's going on so we can help.

[Carrie]

Whew - do I wish I had the answer to this.

I lived through 12 years of being fat and miserable and unable to do anything about it. I do not know why for all those years I could not make any significant progress towards resolving my weight issue. I do not know why on March 1st I decided to do something about it and stuck with the decision. Maybe it is what the anonymous programs say 'you have to hit bottom before you're ready to change'.

I'm in the middle of a bad time too. My scale is up a few pounds. I've done this before - sometimes my slips are just a bite of something and once I was off my program for 5 days. On the morning of the 6th I got up, got on the scale and saw how much I'd gained. I then realized simply that I AM NOT willing to gain all those pounds back. No friggin way.

I do not want to have interruptions in my program - but so far I have not been 100% successful at keeping them from happening. They are not accidents - they are my choice - I chose the behavior - I'll deal with the consequences.

If I have to do it this way until I reach my goal weight then so be it - I might be doing this for the next year and a half, so be it. Maybe somewhere along the line I'll find the answer to preventing my bad choices.

I think that, despite these setbacks, I have made the decision that this is it. No more Ms. nice girl - I work this until I get there. I may slide backwards sometimes, but I'll make up for it, and I will not give up until I attain my goal.

Certainly part of it is just not giving up. Even if you slip, you go back and try again. Other things - cultivate a positive attitude about this, do things that reinforce your desire to lose weight. Like participating in this forum. For me I believe a lot of my bingeing was trying to stuff negative emotions - and I simply refuse to think a lot of the devastating things about myself that I used to. I do not beat myself up for being overweight or having a bad eating day. I say instead 'I chose to do that, it's over now, back to my program.' Try to break the pattern of negativity. Remind yourself that you DESERVE to be thin.

Also, explore your feelings, is there an underlying emotional issue that has caused this breakdown. PMS, boredom with the diet, wanting to eat socially, work stress, etc? I got stood up for a lunch date Tuesday - and you know what? I wanted to eat like crazy the rest of the day - and all of a sudden it hit me - I'm not hungry, I just have hurt feelings. It didn't make the hunger go away instantly but at least then I could gently remind myself 'Hey you're not really hungry, you're just hurt/angry.' It did make it a lot better.

Get up, dust yourself off, and start again - The ONLY difference between Mike and the people who place a first order and then disappear is that Mike didn't give up.

Carrie

[RavenKat]

I don't know if I'll say the stuff you need to hear but here it goes.

Write to us. None of us will think you are a failure - even if you think you are. We are all struggling through this.

I have made a promise to myself that I will report my weight every Sunday whether I lost weight or not, whether I behaved myself or not. Not only that, I swore I'd tell the truth about it. I don't go into graphic detail about it (embarrassed) but I 'fess up.

Yes, it's hard (understatement of the year) but it feels great! Do it for one day. If you make it through one day then wake up the next day and do it again. Sometimes that's how I get through it. If I have to go to bed at 3:30 in the afternoon to avoid eating then so be it!

Everyone is different. I have involved no one in this process but me. My husband knows but I don't go on and on about it. I'm just doing it. I read this board several times a day, I write in my journal, I think about how I would rather reach 199 than eat something right now. And the way MF works, that'll be next week! I swear there are times that I would eat one of my cats if I thought they'd stand still long enough!

You are worth the effort.

I am 41 and for some reason it occured to me when I reached 250 that I was going to be 250 until I died unless I got my blank together. I have no idea what clicked this time. The idea that I've wasted 20 years of my life getting fatter and fatter....

It's not easy. There's no way around it. I've had hissy fits in my mind like a spoiled 2 year old about what I couldn't eat or what I being deprived of, but it passes. I swear. If you just sit and breathe and write or call someone or take a walk or surf the internet it will be over before you know it. Develop an anal-retentive hobby that keeps you busy. H*ll, make yourself that hobby. YOU all day, nothing but YOU. I don't mean to treat others poorly or ignore the world, I mean suck all the good vibes in your direction and gain strength from it. Volunteer somewhere. Rescue animals always need help.

You CAN do it! You WILL do it! Hungry? So what?! Have you ever had a headache? That's worse. How about cramps? A baby? (assuming you are female) A broken bone? A broken heart? ALL of that is ten times worse than being hungry...and the hunger doesn't last forever.

I guess I'm done. I promise you that if I can do it (the angry punk girl) you can too. And I don't lie.

Kat

[hawaiiwhatnot]

You know, logically, it seems losing weight would be easy because input is output. Like a machine, we just have to program it and just carry out the program.

HOWEVER, it's those emotions running so strongly in the back of our minds that can completely sabotage what's really good for us. Personally, sometimes my emotions run so deep and automatic that I don't even realize they're causing my self-destructive behavior like overeating, overworking, etc. I just don't want to analyze why I have those emotions because they are from experiences that are painful or cause too much guilt. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a mass murderer, I'm a perfectionist, used to be an anorexic as a teen, and am still a chronic pleaser.

As I get older, I get better and have learned to accept that I can't fix everything and do everything! What has helped me is talking about it confidentially with a professional. I can still do something good for myself and stop being self-destructive as a form of punishment. I will always have painful memories as everyone does but I can now acknowledge them, put them in their proper place, and do something that will make me feel good instead of self destructing.

Because I am a perfectionist, I couldn't talk about those feelings with friends because I'm supposed to be the one who listens to everyone else's problems, and couldn't possibly burden anyone with my troubles. But talking about them with someone really helped me round up my demons.

We humans are a complicated machines, and I think it's a good idea to get a mental tune-up when we need it. I learned a lot about myself that I never paid attention to because I never thought I was very important to myself.

Also, yoga especially the meditation helped me to center myself. When I sit for a moment and say to myself, what am I thinking right now, my mind is whirling in 50 different directions with thoughts of thousands of things flying around. Focusing on just one thing for 2 minutes during meditation is impossible, but the goal and just trying to achieve staying on one thought is the best exercise for the mind. Whenever those bad thoughts of guilt or pain come in to my mind, I look at them, recognize them, and acknowledge they're there, but let them go in favor of something positive. This helps me during my regular day to do the same thing. Sorry for the long post, I hope this may help. With warm aloha, Camille

[Carrie]

Kat - I hear ya - I have 2 cats at home, but ..... I didn't see sugar, sucrose, or fructose anywhere on their ingredient lists, so why bother?????

And the parrot is green - not ripe yet.

<g>

[Maddie]

There are reasons for the difficulty in changing any behavior. Over eating is a behavior. Most people learn to eat or over eat and they learn that it works. That is it does what it's supposed to time and time again. Food nurtures us, comforts us ect. Over 5, 10, 20 30 years that learning is re-enforced over and over and over again. The brain remembers. The brain records. The brain even developed pathways designed to help the learning become entrenched and it does this all with out our permission. What happens though when the consequences begin to out"wiegh" the benefits? We don't see it right away. It can't be the food, the food is good. It must be my metaboloism, my thyroid, some thing else besides the food!!! anything else. And then we try to lose wieght becuse it must be the weight (not the food) but we hope that some day we can visit our bestfriend again(food) but when we do we find that it is still food. And if we gain the wieight back then it is "us", we feel like losers, or weeklings or, well you put your own words in it. I know I felt like a failure. (I am fairly succesfull in my life). And I felt bad so what did I do? I went back to my favorite best friend who always works for me...food. but it was still food.

I do not have the answer to the question really...I have some hope that if I am willing (willingness means doing something even when you don't want to) That my brain will learn that trusting others feels good and comforts and nurtures. I expect this to been hard but not impossible.
I have had times of dispair and disappointment in my self since I started in March. I came back because the food has stopped working.

Where ever you are in the process...keep coming back...You will find the courage and willingness to succeed if you keep looking, sometimes it's in the darkest times that we grow tne most...don't give up.

Maddie