Thanks so much to everyone who stops by my journal with kind words. They mean an awful lot to me
Well I couldn't manage to stay off the scale today, but that's all right, because how else would I know that
I HAVE MADE IT TO ONEDERLAND!?
Darn, that feels good!
My program is just marching along. I have mountains of Medifast products--I think I'm a littlel paranoid about running out and I've been stockpiling. I just ordered a box of the Maryland crab soup, too, plus three more boxes of vanilla shakes because I have just discovered how great they taste with orange Crystal Lite and three boxes of chocolate mint bars because they just seem like such a treat. But I try not to have anything too often, as I'm still a little nervous that I'll get sick of MF foods.
I was also really affected by something Serendipity wrote in someone else's journal today, on how if you're compliant, the need to doctor up supplements will fade away. I had one bad night, only three days in, but since then, I've been full-on compliant and what Jo said about the cravings and hunger etc. has been right on target for me.
Another thing I learned today: if you feel the need to take a "mental health day" from work, by all means take it. My colleagues kind of pride themselves on their hundreds of banked sick days, and while I really admire them, I think my skin is a little thinner sometimes. I knew in my heart that if I went to work Thursday, there would be trouble. But a little devil on my shoulder told me that a good teacher would simply square her shoulders, correct her own attitude and soldier on...
From here on, if I think I need one, I will be taking a day off--if not for my own sake, at least for the kids'.
But as tough as this week was, I'm imagining how much worse I would have felt when I came home last night if I wasn't on Medifast. My pain and insecurities would have been multiplied a thousand-fold if I was trying to medicate myself with food and failing and getting into that shame spiral of being obese and not being able to fix it.
Being on this program is giving me my dignity back. It's true that physically, I've gotten myself into a pretty big mess. But I have a plan to become well again, and it's working. For the first time in years, I feel as though I have the upper hand in my own life.
'Night all.
When I was feeling so low this past winter, I didn't keep it as clean and organized and I would normally like. My drawers, closets and cupboards were chaos! I spent most of yesterday ripping it all out, and I've done a bit of sorting. Unfortunately, I'm not even near done and Monday morning is looming.
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