Have I lost my mind??

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Have I lost my mind??

Postby LilMsTexas » May 29th, 2005, 6:23 pm

What in the world is wrong with me today????

Look at what I've eaten today.......if in fact I can remember it all.......It all started off innocent enough......morning shake......another shake before we left for church so I wouldn't get hungry.......Lean and Green at Ryan's buffet and had baked chicken and green beans and some broccoli (not even a single roll) :D Sooooooooo far so good.

Then we're home. I'm hungry. Why? I ate a cheese stick. Then later on I had a sugar free pudding cup. Throw in a legal MF bar (3rd supplement today) Then I was planting some flowers and piddling around.......had like 5 goldfish with my son.......then later I had a GIGANTIC spoon of peanut butter :shock: Thennnnnnnnn I had a SECOND MF BAR!! I haven't had more than one bar, even one time, since I started! I'm not sure I've had an oz. of water today and TECHNICALLY I should still have one more shake to top everything off!!

GOOD LORD!! Yes I started today......so what? I started MF on the first day of "TOM" in March. I didn't eat dessert at Ryan's with the freaking dessert bar. I didn't have rolls which are my most favorite of all things. So why did I just SNACK my way to hell today??? Oh my gosh I want to throw up. I finished the bar and literally wished I could go throw up.

To be honest I find myself having a little here and a little there and I see myself falling into the trap of the past. Are to many people complimenting me on how good I look now? Did the surgeon telling me that I didn't need to lose more weight get inside my head?? Oh my gosh I feel horrible. I mean I REALLY feel horrible and I'm scared I'm just going right back to all the worthless, useless self defeating practices of the past. I apparantly know how to cheer everyone on but myself.
GOD BLESSED TEXAS!
Christi AKA LilMsTexas

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Postby LilMsTexas » May 29th, 2005, 6:44 pm

And oh............this day gets better because while I was typing the first part of this my precious 12 year old son Jarrod who is my BIGGEST supporter looks over at me and says "Mom I'm really proud of you and your weight loss. You're really doing it this time. All those other things that are advertised are just lies and lead you on, but this is straight forward and you're really doing it. I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you." OK SOMEBODY SHOOT ME!!
GOD BLESSED TEXAS!
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Postby dlr2424 » May 29th, 2005, 6:55 pm

Christi............... :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: ............what's done is done.......... :no: .....don't give the cheat another thought......... :coach: .......YOU ARE STRONG!!!!!!!!!!....... :coach: ......YOU WILL DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!........ :coach: ......YOU ARE DOING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............yes...okay...today wasn't the best... :huh: .....nor was it the worst........ :no: ........get back on the MF train cause the journey won't be as fun without you..... :drive: ........not that I think for a moment that you wouldn't hop back on....... :clap: .....cause I know you are going to goal!!!!!!!!!!....... :burnout: .........when the people give you compliments.........reinforce in your mind that "I will look even better when I get to goal"......... :yay: ........i'll be praying for strength for you...... :angel: ......
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Lost my mind

Postby Jan » May 29th, 2005, 7:08 pm

Dear Christi,
You did have quite the day did'nt you?? Well at least the day is about over so just start again tomorrow. You know I can't have chesse puffs - the deep fried ones (of course) in the house because I used to eat them till I was literally sick -- would say my stomach feels awful and keep eating. :( :( Now my big things is roasted nuts -- they're not in the house either. You did really well at the restaurant -- pat yourself on the back for that :) :) -- But just face it we're all human we blow it sometimes learn from your mistake and go forward. The good news is you won't gain back all the weight in one day (didn't lose it in a day either :D ) So just make sure it doesn't turn into a habbit. You'll be fine :D
Jan
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Postby LilMsTexas » May 29th, 2005, 7:15 pm

Thanks Donna and Jan........you're right.......this day is over.......it's time to go to bed. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up and realize I have 22lbs to lose to goal. I'm going to start anew and get myself back into the groove of things like I did in the beginning. I'm going to turn today into a boost of steam that freshly starts my engines. I'm going to bed so this fiasco will be officially OVER!
GOD BLESSED TEXAS!
Christi AKA LilMsTexas

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Postby beautifulb » May 29th, 2005, 7:45 pm

Christi,

Stay strong :weightlift:, positive and always remember the words of your son (wow)!

Tena
Beatena
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Postby 70 » May 29th, 2005, 8:09 pm

Christi,
After reading your post, I just thought, "I've been there before". I've learned from my past mistakes and realized that with me, I need clear cut guide lines and have to stick with them, If I don't, it turns into the snowball effect, where one little cheat turns into another and another. That's why this time on the program I'm not giving myself to many options. I don't know if you're the same way, but just get back on track and keep going. One cheat won't destroy all your great progress, but learn from it and remind yourself of what happened today the next time you get another urge to just have a "little cheat". You're doing great. Keep up the great progress and get to goal. I don't think you want to have to stay on the "weight loss phase" of this program any longer than you have to.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope this helps a little.

70
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1st mini goal- 180
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Postby fatBgone » May 29th, 2005, 8:39 pm

Christi,
I'm sorry you had a bad day :pet: ....but tomorrow is a new day and you are definitely going to dust yourself off and get right back on the MF pony ride! :yes:

You know, we've ALL had a day (or more) where we get off plan for a bit, but the important thing is to just get right back on track. :drive: And Jan had an excellent point....one mistake isn't going to make you gain all the weight back....and actually to brighten it up a bit - at least it was Sunday - and you'll have all week to probably still show a loss next Sunday at Roll Call.

I also think you should give yourself some credit for staying away from that yummy bread at Ryans....I've had it before & it's so good that I doubt if I could have had that much willpower. You might have subconsciously rewarded yourself at home for being so GOOD at the restaurant....our minds think in such weird ways sometimes. :huh:

Well, I hope you get a good night's sleep :snooze: and you'll feel better tomorrow!! You are our biggest - bestest - cheerleader :cheermed: and we NEED you!!! :coach:
Lisa
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Yesterday might have been bad, but today is a new day!

Postby Seaside » May 30th, 2005, 1:05 am

Christi, don't beat yourself up -- you ARE doing well! As long as you don't continue the madness into another day, the damage should be minimal. Get back on the program and you'll feel better and moving towards that goal that is soooo tantalizingly close!

Your posts are so inspiring and helpful -- you have many people rooting for you!
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Postby LuzInIt » May 30th, 2005, 4:45 am

Dear Christi - Let's see. You had 1 cheese stick (Not a bag full, not even a hand full). You had 5 goldfish. You had a second MF bar (even though a no no, still a Medi meal with all the good nutrients we need) and oh yeah, that huge spoon full of peanut butter. Now, unless you're holding back some truth from us (like maybe you ate the whole jar of PB) I'm seeing a little smack on the hand here; not a "tie Christi to the whipping post and let's flog her". Honey you are not a failure, you just bobbled a little. Jarrod sounds like an extraordinary boy and it sounds to me like he has his Mom pegged just right. You are an amazing woman and amazing things are coming your way. Back on plan girl - no if, ands, or (peanut) butts. You may not leave us until you are at goal (and hopefully not even then), showing off that sleek new tummy. AND WE DO EXPECT PICTURES! Some people just have a gift of becoming the heart and soul of whatever group they are apart of. You, Christi, are at the heart of this forum and we will not let you fail!
Linda - Started MF 3/22/05

340/328/210/150
130 Pounds Gone For Good -
Thank you Medifast!
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Postby LilMsTexas » May 30th, 2005, 4:54 am

I truly love all of you! Thank you so much for being gentle but firm and positive but clear.

I am officially closing this post now. It is a new day and I do not want to dwell on the past. I have some good news to post this morning on another forum :D

Also.........seeing what you all had to say to me makes me even MORE excited about planning our celebration trip! I'm having my morning shake and getting excited about the day!!

Good morning everyone!
Christi's back in ACTION!
GOD BLESSED TEXAS!
Christi AKA LilMsTexas

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Postby ljm498 » May 30th, 2005, 4:56 am

Christi, hopefully you'll be waking up today and seeing a bright, bright day ahead of you! Don't give yesterday another thought. It didn't mean anything. Instead of focusing on yesterday, drill into your mind what your son said, and focus on how that made you feel and take THAT feeling with you into your day. Your son sounds like such a great kid! In the grand scheme of things, yesterday was a tiny fleck of nothing. You know that because of one incident you will not revert to your old habits. Girl, you are stronger than that and you have learned new ways of coping with food. Just refocus today, I know you will be steaming ahead toward goal as of now.
Lynne

Me 34
DH 41
DS 1
Dcats Pookie & Poto

Started 3/28/05
Starting Weight 214.5
Current Weight 125
Goal Weight 115-120
Total Lost 89.5 lbs!!! Wahoo!!!
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Postby doglover » May 30th, 2005, 6:34 am

Christi - DO I SEE THAT YOU MADE IT TO THE 30 LB CLUB?????? I thought that was you knocking on my door!
Congrats girlfriend!!
Donna
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Feb 7, 2005 start date
176/150/150 - made it in 9 weeks! 26 lbs off!
150/139.5/140 - made it in 8 1/2 more weeks! 36.5 lbs off!
144/143/135 - new and last goal! Maintaining for now in 2006
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