The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DutchChoc]

I'm here looking for a bit of peace from my overindulgent tendencies, those which have brought me years of strife trying to like myself and my image.

I know how to do the work about half as well as I know how to undo it. On rare occassions, I'm 99% successful - and then I usually fall apart again.

I'd like another nice ride to looking better. I always feel optimistic while I have my eating under control, and truly pessimistic when it's messed up, so being on a plan of success usually gives me pleasure in that way - "hope". I realize that in itself is probably suggestive of a whole psychological drama too complex for me to understand, but I do know how to achieve what I want when I put my mind to it and maybe there's hope I can still figure out what goes wrong with my thinking and my behavior. I'm so excited about using this fall time of year to try to improve. Glad to share the support of all of you and wish each other well.

[smartipantz]

I'm so happy you decided to join us here. When I was on program two years ago, I visited this board every day. It gave me motivation and accountability. There are some great people here.

You are doing so well. We are proud of you. It gets easier over time to say no to those things we used to gorge on. When you start becoming skinnier and skinnier, as Nancy would say, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

I noticed on your roll call post you were worried that you would be a slow starter. It's true, everyone does lose differently based on how compliant they were, how young they are, how active they are, time of month, etc. Don't focus on how well others are doing, focus on yourself.

One thing to remember is weight loss isn't all about the scale reading; it's about the inches lost and how well you feel. Some people get all freaked out about the scale not moving down as fast as they would like. I highly recommend everyone take their measurements as well as their scale reading to be a true judge of accomplishment. After a month, take them again and write them down. It's another way of measuring your success.

Hugs,

Smarti

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, Smarti. Sounds doable right now, all of it. Plenty of "time unleashed" now full of not eating and wondering what to eat. I decided last night as I was cleaning the floor that maybe that's a good direction to apply my extra time, if I have to do it. Would help cut down on anxiety of when to clean, for sure!

I might do better to stay off the scale during the week, if only I can make myself do that, especially with a big start like I got. It could go up tomorrow and that would freak me out, for sure. I'm still a bit iffy and it might not take much to make a bad decision...like, can't I do this later, another day, etc. But seriously, when one's already towing the line, makes good sense to keep towing it in a way that should result in improvement.

Very much looking forward to two weeks behind me, like you.

[dede4wd]

Hi,
Nice to meetcha!

I really enjoyed your paragraph about hope. I know what you mean!

D

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, D, for saying hello and such. Hope's alive when I'm not a slave to what wants me to eat it, lol.

I'm at the pretty-much top weight of my work-clothes repetoire and that's been a struggle for a long time, I'd say most of the summer. I didn't want to buy new stuff, so I was wearing the same thing a lot and that bugged the heck of me (meanwhile, I was also so bummed I didn't care as much as I should have.)

The story line is that I gained pretty steadily since last Christmas, going up about 17 pounds. No doubt I was going higher had I not decided to try again. The trick now is to keep wanting to eat less, or to do it even if we don't want to. As we all know, that's part of what we have to commit to and be able to achieve. Else, it's status quo, likely, or worse.

[katieb920]

Hiya DC,

I am just popping in to say Hello. I am a restart. You wrote something about HOPE. I use to write the word hope alot. Now I do not use the word Hope I say I have too... I totally agree about the house cleaning. When I am on MF my house is spotless. I am so glad your on the boards with us. We can do this together.

KT

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, Katie, for the kind words and for relating to some of how I feel. Hope is a complex thing, eh? Ideally, I'd be "happy", self-assured, and maybe even hopeful even as I am and I wouldn't be hoping to become happy and self-assured by achieving something as unconnected as weight loss to get that feeling. (Indeed, weight loss won't solve everything, but it will solve some health hardships.) There's some really odd connection in my head where food, especially lots of it = both happiness and unhappiness and some of my hope is to mediate that conflict. I think it lies in the error of the "lots of it", which is redundant, ridiculous, and hurtful to self. I still don't know how to crack that nut, but I'm here to try to figure it out. I'd have a happy rest-of-life if I could become more moderate.

[smartipantz]

Hey Dutch,

Just checking in to see how you are doing? Hope all is well.

Smarti

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, Smarti. I've been checking for you, too. Nope, not doing well despite all the talk on my part. And, should I say, all the "hope". :)

Hasn't been all bad, but three days' bad. I'm not one to linger around being on&off plan, so I might leave until I think I can do it again. Was fun meeting you and everyone, though.

[smartipantz]

Awwww, sorry to hear about your struggles. I know how you feel completely. I was on and off for months until I finally looked at myself in the mirror and said, I can't go back to where I was. I remembered what it was like to buy size 8 jeans. I remembered how much more confident I was. It does take a mind-set to get past the first week, but getting through that can be tough if you are not in that state of mind yet.

Take care, DutchChoc. You know where to find us when you need it

Smarti

[DutchChoc]

Well, tomorrow will be day #1 for me. I already know it won't be easy, but turns out my blood pressure is higher than ever now (156/88) so tonight I put my "real face" on and I'm counting on putting my "real game" on beginning tomorrow, including working out again. Already set up my basement for that with mirror and an extra light.

Smarti, you're inspiring me with your success... yeay, You!

Have not been getting away with what I've been doing to my body eating anything I wanted to eat. I can't really keep ignoring how annoyed I am with the shape my body's in as though it isn't "that bad". Frankly, it is that bad! All I can do is take it a shake at a time, knowing it gets better very slowly.

Likewise, if tomorrow I chicken out (or is it really PIG out?), I'll be out here incognito again.

[smartipantz]

Welcome back Dutch!!!

Take one day at a time, one shake at a time! I know it's difficult getting on the train completely but I swear to you.... get passed the first week or so and it gets soooo much easier. You aren't as hungry, you don't have the cravings and your reward for staying on plan is weight loss. But you aren't going to lose weight if you don't stay compliant. Frankly, you are wasting your money on the product.

Your blood pressure is high. You need to take control of your health right now.

I know you can do it. I KNOW IT! You just have to build on that willpower - DON"T GIVE INTO IT!!! It's a bad bad thing - hehehehe

I'm so glad you are back!

Smarti

[nickieluv]

It is hard - there's no sugar-coating that fact. But you can do it! With the exercise and diet I'll bet that blood pressure will be under control in just a few weeks. There's an instant reward for you! And I finally made it through a day yesterday, and woke up today almost 3# lighter. Too bad that doesn't happen every day, but it's nice to see once in a while. Hang in there and it WILL happen!

[smartipantz]

How's it going Dutch? Just thinking about you.

[DutchChoc]

I did my day #1, finally, just needed a two-week start, hehe! Has not been bad, at all, no regrets over today.

Have a sin to admit though and that I can only seem to do this with shakes-only. Whenever I try eating w/ L&G, I all too soon end up blowing it one way or another by one slippage or overindulgence leading to more of the same. When I did my 100+ days before, it was shakes only and I know that's an unusual and extreme method - obviously great for someone with no control at all because there's no way to get that smidge of the wrong thing to obsess over the way or the thing or the amount one is eating.

So, kind of between a rock and a hard place, but I guess I'll do this anyway I can to get on a roll. Eventually, I have to address what else to do and how to do it without going haywire.