Diet Humor

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Postby Dean0408 » April 27th, 2005, 8:19 pm

"Big? Heck no........your butt is only half the size it was before you went on Medifast...that bikini was MADE for you!!"

_____________________________________________________

Okay D.....I almost missed it , but I can't believe you lumped me in with a tail lady and an ear lady............just because I wear those Groucho Marx glasses with the attached nose, moustache and eyebrows everywhere I go and also live on the West Coast is no reason to group me with weirdos!

I will have you know that I developed my quirkiness in OHIO!! Does that state ring a bell? My home town of Cincinnati to be exact (my daughter still lives there in fact)

Dean
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Postby Nancy » April 27th, 2005, 10:15 pm

:whistle: Dean-oh!

Is that YOU?

I mean I am totally blown away by this revelation, Man!

I keep seeing this guy wearing a raincoat, dark-rimmed :shades: glasses with very thick lenses – like 47-pounders at least, he’s got these hurking eyebrows that remind me of wooly caterpillars and a proboscis that has a hook and a :point: patch of hairs protruding vertically from the bridge. His ‘stache has dried Dutch Chocolate 70 Medi-residue.


Is that you?
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels...
The Formerly FLABulous and Now very Fabulous
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Postby Dean0408 » April 27th, 2005, 10:36 pm

Nope Nancy,

Couldn't be me.........I only let the Strawberry 70 residue dry in my 'stache. The chocolate is too good to waste!! :mrgreen:

Dean
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Postby doglover » April 28th, 2005, 5:56 am

Well Dean, if it makes YOU feel any better - I am a CA girl! Born in San Rafael! But I am bi-coastal - lived in Mass. as well (Bridgewater) and now TEMPORARILY living in OH until kiddies are off to college, then we are on to Florida! BUT most of my life I have lived in wonderful Chicago! That is my true home!
D
Donna - frequent flyer to FL!
Feb 7, 2005 start date
176/150/150 - made it in 9 weeks! 26 lbs off!
150/139.5/140 - made it in 8 1/2 more weeks! 36.5 lbs off!
144/143/135 - new and last goal! Maintaining for now in 2006
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Postby Dean0408 » April 28th, 2005, 7:38 am

Nope D........didn't make me feel better at all........hehe

Myyyyyyyyyyy..... kind of town........shi-CAW-go is...........my kind of town....

We have some good friends in Chicago........it is indeed a GREAT town.

Where in Ohio are you D?

Dean
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Postby DonicaB » April 28th, 2005, 8:10 am

I have a really good friend in Chicago........You might have heard of her.........her name is Oprah.


Just kidding. I don't know her, but my sister-in-law (the author) was a guest on her show. Cool huh?

I am 100% a midwesterner. I was born in Missouri, moved to IL in the 6th grade. Came back to MO to go to college and have been in MO ever since.
I know Whoppeeeeedoooo!

DonicaB :exercise:
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Postby Dean0408 » April 28th, 2005, 8:16 am

Wow Donica........

I had no idea we had a celebrity sister-in-law in our midst. That is way cool that she was on Oprah. What was the title of her book?

The midwest is the heartland of America. We need the midwest to balance out the excentricities of the coasts so that the overall values of the nation are more normal.

Dean
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Postby DonicaB » April 28th, 2005, 8:44 am

It was pretty exciting Dean. I even helped her pick her wardrobe out for the show. Whooohooo!

Do you remember about 3 years ago on the news when a woman was caught on video tape beating her daughter while trying to get her in the back seat of her car? Oprah did a story on mom's dealing with anger issues. My sister-in-law's book is called She's Gonna Blow. It deals with that very issue of mom's dealing with anger. In the book she compares moms to volcanoes. She likes to call use Mount Momma. It is a very good book. Every mom should read it. Every woman planning to be a mom should read it. Anger is something we as parents definitely deal with. She travels all over the US and even overseas speaking to women. She has also been on James Dobson's, Focus on the Family a couple of times.

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Postby Dean0408 » April 28th, 2005, 9:19 am

Donica,

I'll bet that WAS exciting for you to be involved and to see your sis-in-law on TV with Oprah. This is too neat............

Sounds like a great book.......very worthwhile.

Dean
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Postby Unca_Tim » May 6th, 2005, 7:47 am

Here's one submitted by Dean,

I happened to see the following recently and thought maybe it was some good material for "The Elevator" section of the forum. If you think it is worthy........please post it there.
Dean


Fat Theology

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.

And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.
Unca
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Postby dlr2424 » May 6th, 2005, 4:13 pm

..........although I didn't roll on the floor and pee my pants.........cause I already did that today.... :oops: .....lol......and I limit myself to one time only.........it did get quite a few chuckles...... :lol: .....however even though this may be humor..... :hmmm: ......I have to think there's some truth hidden here........... :twisted: ..........HMO's.......SATAN...... :secret: ......similiaraties for sure......with DH's health challenges I've had to deal with HMO's on a regular basis......... so...HMO/SATAN ...I can get them confused..... ;)
Thanks for the lift........... :D
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Postby armeewyf » May 11th, 2005, 7:15 am

After reading all these posts about "booties" I have come to the conclusion that while mine is slowly getting smaller, I could weigh 100 lbs and 75 of those pounds would be in my un-JLo-like rear... :x ! Genetics...gotta love 'em!
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Big Bootie???

Postby Joan Roman » May 11th, 2005, 10:33 am

Hey...mine is a fair size...and I like it! I'm hoping I can loose it all but the butt! :lol:

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