The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[jene115]

It's been an awakening weekend. I've had several compliant days and several partially compliant days and an enlightening weekend. Carrie recommended two books to me and I read the first one with interest and the second one has opened my eyes to why I sabotage myself. Even when our strongest wish is to lose weight, the times we sabotage ourselves can be found in our subconcious thoughts. I wrote at length in a journal I keep today and I understand now why I sabotage myself. I "knew" all this years ago, but never related it to why I can't lose weight, why my sabatuer raises her ugly head every time I start to lose. Telling her to go away doesn't work. Ignoring her doesn't work. I have to replace her with a nuturing person who takes care of herself. I have to work on reprogramming my thinking.

I read about the guy who weighed a ton (literally) and had to have his bay window, shrubs and door cut off his house to remove him from the house to enter the hospital. He lost over 400 pounds, then gained it back. When asked why he gained it back, he said he just worked on the weight, not the inside stuff. It's so easy to lose weight, but keeping it off is the hard part.

I know I need to work on my thinking big time. At 47, I can't keep letting the messages I received from my family as a child and a young adult permeate my thinking. I have to reprogram my thinking along this journey to ensure I meet my goals and get on with this thing called life. I am not going to let the past dictate the future. I can't afford to. I feel like I've "wasted" so much time already. I have too much I want to do. Losing weight is #1 on my list of priorities. Keeping it off will be a lifetime effort, but I can do that once I get there because I want so much more.

[kassilou]

Yep, yep, yep. Amen, sister.

[sister]

You've got a grip now, Jen!

Just hang on to it!!

You're speaking for me as well, thanks!

[Nancy]

That's the key, Jene ~

A whole new way of looking at food and life.

NOTHING tastes as good as thin feels. Food is not our friend.

This is a process - it will take time but Little Darlin' you are SO worth the effort!

[churchie]

Hey there Jen,

I understand about all those underlying issues and self sabotage. I hope you can be more gentler with yourself.

To know something intellectually and emotionally 2 different things. You are here, you are moving forward and you are doing it.
Those childhood issues, etc will be worked out because you are looking at it. I have a very good friend of mine who says "awareness proceeds change"

I just wanted you to know that I struggle and go through that stuff too and a lot of it has been healed with a lot of hard work, love, support and a spiritual life. TOday I am lighter on myself and the weight has been coming off as a secondary gift and of course with vigilance and determination. However, I have been like that before too and still "gone off" the plan.

With this medifast so far I have followed it to a tea. There are days that I feel like shoving food in my mouth and I ask for help instead or do a number of things to get the thoughts away. Thank God, so far this has worked for me.

I am so glad you shared and I know you can and will do this. Happy Monday and have a good week.

Gail

[jene115]

There's a reason I created this "journal" and named it what I did. There's a reason I put it under the Weight Room where we can post failures because I knew there would be some. I don't believe in failures, I believe in lessons. A failure is only a failure if you stay down and don't make strides to do better.

Before I started MediFast, I was craving a pizza so bad. But somehow I never got around to ordering one. I always waste more than I eat anyway, since I live alone.

A little about me. Normally when I screw up, I go away for awhile. I've belonged to quite a few weight loss support groups and some were supportive during the down times and some were brutal. The last group I was really active in was actually a financial group and I spent a lot of my computer time there for years. It says a lot about this group that I haven't been back there since I found this forum. Plus, my priorties have changed.

I'm not looking for forgiveness, support, consoling, or anything, but I am going to be accountable to myself and you. Yes, I ordered my pizza on Friday, ate some on Saturday and the rest on Sunday. But not only did I order pizza, but soda and cheesesticks. Major heartburn. Pop some Tums, okay I'm better. Do I feel guilty? No. This wasn't a "giving up" nor was it giving in. I decided to do this. I haven't been feeling the best, not because of MediFast, but I've had a sore throat and have just been tired. The four days I was compliant on MF, I felt fine. Everybody seems to be sick at work and the thing that irritates me is I can't take any time off work because I used all the time I had. I was sick late last year, car was dead one day and 3 days off for a sinus infection and I'm left with no personal days now. We have a floating holiday I can take, but it's doesn't work with my boss' schedule. I want to take a Monday off, President's Day would be great, but he will be out of the office later that week and Monday through Wednesday will be busy. I really don't like this job and I sit here in the mornings watching CNN while I put on my moisturizers and wish I could just call in. This is almost every day. Of course, I'm fine once I get to work, but I won't be working at this job forever, I really dislike the type of work I do.

To bring this back to MF, yes, I plan on getting back on track.I'm already sick of food again. I ordered over $300 in supplements which came out of my account today. Does that sound like someone who doesn't want to do this? Technically, that money should be going to paying down debt, but I made a commitment to losing weight and that commitment has to include a financial commitment also.

I weighed this morning and for some strange reason, I was down 6 pounds. Go figure. However, I'll take it for now, but I doubt it will stay.

My boss will be gone Thursday, so maybe I can have one day I can relax. I didn't even get to lunch today until 1:45 and I couldn't even eat the sandwich I bought. Just felt like crap. He then tells me to bring him a client file. Mind you, it's a huge case and it's a box full of files in a cabinet. By the time I lifted it out of the file cabinet and walked with it down the hall, I was panting. So much for chivalry! Yes, I can carry it, but geez, how about a little help since he knows I have bad knees. ARGGH!

I'll be back on track soon. I'm not going to say tomorrow because I don't know. When I'm ready, I'll restart, but I won't call it a restart. I'm calling the last few weeks a test drive. Cop out? Maybe. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to start this after the years I've had of eating junk. I enjoy the shakes, bars and my Splenda-sweetened gherkins. Once I'm ready to start up again, I'm in it to win it.

So there it is. My failure laid open for all to see. I don't feel bad about it because I did it fully conscious. It wasn't a slip, it wasn't a craving. It was a decision. Yes, I'm ready to commit to MF and I will. I know deep inside me that it's right for me and I know 1000% that I can do this. No excuses.

[Nancy]

Thank you for your honesty, Jen.

When you're ready, we are here and when you are ready, hold on to your belt, 'cuz you're on your way to a whole new way of walking down the hallway - no more panting!

[elle4nelly]

I know how you feel Jene115!!

It's really hard to work emotional eating out of one's system. I am very frustrated right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last year on Medifast I was able to shed 35lbs in 36 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This time around I did just 7.5 lbs the first week and NOTHING has come off in a whole week now!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I too feel frustrated! I ordered 3 weeks Medifast supply on Monday and the whole time I was thinking?????? maybe I should just eat and forget about it! ALL this sacrifice and not a lb lost. But ..right now I want to be thin so badly...I am willing to shove aside my humongous hurt and dissapointment and keep trying. I tossed the scale in a closet and have decided not to bother with it until Monday the 21st. And if that scale doesn't move...... I'm not sure how I'll react! Losing weight is such tough business! But giving up is more painful!! JUST hang in there!! And come back fast!!! The longer you stay in Limbo the harder things get and the deeper the emotional scar!

Nelly

[Nancy]

There are so many factors that contribute to our weight loss - remember some seem very weird - like drinking plenty of good old plain water, getting enough sleep, eliminating stress - yeah, right! Easier said than done!

Some of us need to see a counselor or a doctor when our behaviors are out of control.

For some of us we just need a swift kick in the hiney or we need to set up a weekly or daily phone-a-friend appointment for accountability.

Medifast is a tool. It works. But like all tools, it won't work by just lying there in our cupboard - ya gotta pick them up! When we use them in the manner in which they were created and are consistent, they accomplish their work. Tools don't do all the work but they sure do make our work easier. Same with Medifast - makes the job much easier than the shopping, chopping, weighing, measuring, etc. of other foods.

This can sure be a frustrating process. I know that once I made the decision to get the lard out, I wanted it all off and I wanted it off NOW. The process of getting to a desired weight is really an important learning time - a time to reflect on the behaviors that lead to over-eating and a time to establish new behaviors that lead to permanent constructive behaviors and habits that will support a healthier lifestyle for life-long weight management.

For some, tucking away the scale and weighing monthly is the way to go.

It takes time for some people to get to the point of being able to trust the program to truly work as we have experienced failure from so many other programs in the past.

I learned that much of my miserable past failures were really my error – I returned to my former foody ways and foody habits once the weight loss phase was over. I wanted to be a contrite and compliant girl for a certain period of time and then once the scale registered a certain number, the program was over. I returned to eating with wanton abandonment and so did the pounds along with many more.

This time it is different for me because I used the weight loss phase as a learning phase for me. I keep trying to express the importance of enjoying each weight loss day as it comes along – each day can be useful and profitable for learning how to eat and live once you reach your goal weight. Take Shape For Life makes it possible to continue to use the products once you reach your desired weight for good nutrition and for weight management.

More and more Americans are overweight than ever before – more are overweight than are at a healthy weight. Younger children are developing Type 2 diabetes and its associated illness than ever before. We live during a time of epidemic proportions of obesity and illnesses. I am thankful every day for the way my life has improved and the joy I feel but Folks, there is a daily choice of how I’m gonna live my day – in a healthy way or a flabby way. I don’t always LIKE eating healthily but I sure do like its results – makes it easier to know which way I’m going to choose. I don’t always choose the right way but more times than not, I do.

Keep on keeping on! Whatcha gonna choose to do for yourself today?

[Sylvia]

Nancy,

Your posts are always great but this one really hit the nail on the head. MF is a great tool but at the end of the day that's all it is. Whether one is successful or not depends on how effectively the tool is used. One of the things this post brings out that I think was incredibly important for me was the ability on this plan to distance myself from food. That distance gave me the ability to think much less emotionally about what and how I would eat post MF and enabled me to prepare for a post program eating plan vastly different from my old, bad ways.

This just feels different than before and I am confident for the first time that I can do this for the long run. Am I perfect? Of course not. Are all of my bad habits completely gone? No. But have I made enough significant and sustainable changes that I have this problem under control? So far, the answer to this is YES.

As I've said before this is a journey rather than a destination. Some get there faster and more directly than others but at the end of the day all who are successful will meet at the same place.

S

[jene115]

This has been the week from hell, work wise. It's only Thursday and I am just 3 hours shy of 40 hours for the week. Tomorrow's 9 hours will be almost all OT!! Mo money for my MF! I worked until 7:30 last night and my boss asked me to come in at 7:30 this morning, so I'm pretty wiped out. He's been really appreciative and more like the guy I started working with last May. I heard through the grapevine that he was talked to last week. I guess lawyers don't understand bi-polar disease and feel that warning him about his behavior every 6 months or so will do. He has been great to work with though. I guess someone heard his tirades a few weeks ago. I was ready to walk!

Am I ever ready to get back to MFing. You better believe it!!! I feel like crap. Even headaches, sugar withdrawal, caffeine withdrawal can't be as bad as eating junk makes me feel. What the hay was I thinking? I didn't cave into cravings. I wasn't craving anything. I wasn't even hungry on MF, just felt that gee, I didn't order that pizza before I started this so maybe I should order it now. Didn't do it then, but waited and did it the next day. At least I now have reserve shakes should one of my future orders arrive late (insert positive spin).

You want to know the most amazing thing. Late in 2003, early 2004, I tracked my spending, every single penny that I spent (cash only) I use Quicken so that is accounted for, but I wanted to see what I spend my cash on, the allowance I give myself each week. Well, I did that for three months and you know what? Every single penny that I spent was on fast food. With MF, I don't need cash in my pocket so look at all the money I will save! Seriously! Another thing, I found I wasn't hungry at all on MF, but eating junk makes me hungry just a few hours later. Know why? It's the nutritional composition of the food. Fast food - zero. MF - all the nutrients you need. It's a no brainer folks.

I was going to start back on Monday, but I'm starting back MFing tomorrow. I've had my "fun" now time to get back on track. I can't bear another cheeseburger or fajita or any kind of food. Ah! The simplicity of the complete MF program. I'm lovin' it!

[sister]

Hey Jen

Glad you aren't waiting until Monday. Just jump right back in!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

[monkeymom]

Friday's a great day to start Jene........you'll probably be over the hump by Monday and off and running!!
Maybe now that your boss is more tolerable that will make things easier too. Get going quick before he takes a mood swing

[Nancy]

Jen ~

Here's to a thrilling Thursday and a fabulous Friday for you!

You're so right about saving a lot of $ by using Medifast.

Keep only a $1 in your purse at a time - it is hard to do much foody damage on a buck - it keeps us 'safe' from spending on flabby foods!

I know you'll feel better real soon. Here's you a happy Shake Weekend for you!

[jene115]

I've been so wiped out this weekend. Friday night I came home, went to bed at 8, woke up at 12, watched a little TV, went back to bed, woke up at 5:30 on Saturday. I spent most of the day with a friend and caught up on stuff, came home, slept again. I still feel a little tired, but better.

I'm starting MF tomorrow. Not a restart since I never really had a good start, but this is a real start. Without going into a huge diatribe, let's just say I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.