Kendra

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Postby kendra_m » September 6th, 2006, 9:21 am

Yipppie Skippy.... it's almost noon of Day 3! Yesterday was kind of long... had some light headedness and fatigue, oh and hunger, but it was completely tolerable.
Today is going great so far! Just a little bit tired, but otherwise feeling pretty good at the moment. I had a middle of the night challenge last night.... woke up around 2 am, which i do occasionally. Normally what do I do? Eat... ugh. So last night, that was my automatic response... to look for something to eat. I had a fruit and nut bar... would have been better to have had nothing, but at least it was on plan.... and so no bar for me today! Am going to buy some herbal tea, so that if i wake up and am wanting something, I'll make a nice cup of hot tea.

Now I'm just anxious for sunday to get here so i can step on the scale.
I'm starting to believe I can really do this!!
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:hatch: Finding the new me!!
--------------
10# - 9/11/06
20# - 9/24/06
30# - 11/5/06
40# - 11/19/06
kendra_m
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Location: Springfield, IL

Postby Elizabeth » September 6th, 2006, 11:54 am

I'm so happy for you Kendra! Great job/choice last night. I did the same thing! I went to my desk and came on here instead....thank goodness.
I saw Lauren's post with her 135 weight loss and lost all thoughts of cheating. Thank God for this website.
I'm also excited for you for Sunday! Take GOOD care of yourself :)
Elizabeth
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Postby kendra_m » September 6th, 2006, 6:51 pm

Thank goodness there isn't a ticker for mood changes in the first three days! It's been a stressful evening.... a change of dinner plans which kinda threw me off...babysitter cancelled..... kids bickering.... yada yada and I'm just plum tired. Tired physically and tired emotionally.
But the good news is, despite feeling rather stressed tonight, I didn't even ponder eating off-plan. Actually I did 6:0 today because I couldn't quickly figure out my L & G, so decided just to have some oatmeal. It worked out just fine. Gonna head to bed early tonight and hopefully snooze soundly!
Image

:hatch: Finding the new me!!
--------------
10# - 9/11/06
20# - 9/24/06
30# - 11/5/06
40# - 11/19/06
kendra_m
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 229
Joined: August 29th, 2006, 8:00 pm
Location: Springfield, IL

Postby Elizabeth » September 6th, 2006, 8:23 pm

Great job getting past Day 3 Kendra! You're doing great. See ya tomorrow.
Elizabeth
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Postby kendra_m » September 7th, 2006, 8:15 am

Thanks Elizabeth, You're a peach!

As someone who used to (as in 1 week ago) panic and get all anxious if I thought I wasn't going to have access to food, I really thought 'pffffft' when I read comments from people here about not wanting to eat... or forgetting to eat. I was thinking, that will never be me, i can't fathom food becoming non-important. Well, I was sitting here this morning reading posts and realized that it was 10 am and I hadn't thought to eat breakfast :shock: . I still wasn't particularly hungry but knew i should eat so had a maple oatmeal...yummm. Love those.
I'm wearing my biggest size jeans, out of the many size possibilities in my closet and I swear they feel baggy already. Could that be???
Image

:hatch: Finding the new me!!
--------------
10# - 9/11/06
20# - 9/24/06
30# - 11/5/06
40# - 11/19/06
kendra_m
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 229
Joined: August 29th, 2006, 8:00 pm
Location: Springfield, IL

Postby Elizabeth » September 7th, 2006, 8:34 am

:) Kendra
I know, the obsession is leaving isn't it? I feel the same way although I am very leary it will come back and I'll lose control quickly....don't have the confidence yet. Everyday of staying perfectly on plan definately builds on the confidence though...like "hey, I really can do this!"
Taking tiny bites of things even a bite of chicken from my kids plate (which is really harmless because I am not doing the 5 & 1) takes me to a place where I feel a threat of losing my control...so I really don't want to take even a smidgen anymore. I've picked this up from Lauren's posts and it does make sense where when I read it a month ago I didn't get it.

OK, COOL on the loose jeans. I also have many options in my closet that I can almost fit in. It will be fun to shop in our own closets ;)

Have another great day Kendra...I'm with you on this.
Elizabeth
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Postby DogMa » September 7th, 2006, 12:37 pm

How did I miss this before? I'll read through your whole journal later when I have time, but did I read that you turned 45 on Sept. 2???? So did I!!!
Robin

203/130/130
Reached goal in August 2006
Added BodyBugg in May 2009
New ticker: 136.6/123.2/130
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Postby DogMa » September 7th, 2006, 2:46 pm

And yes, it's possible for your jeans to already be getting loose. You lose mostly water in the beginning, but depending on what you were doing before you started, it could be a LOT of water.

And I'm so, so sorry about your husband. I just read through your whole journal and you sound like an amazing person and a wonderful addition to the forum. (And it sounds like I'll have someone to consult if I have any Body for Life questions. Right now I'm just distraught about them discontinuing the bars. Sigh.) Speaking of BFL, what did you do for your cardio when you were on it? And did you follow the exercise plan to the letter? I want to change it a bit and do four days of cardio and two days of weights, but doing upper and lower body on the weights each time. Which would be a bit more than he recommends, but do you think that's a problem?
Robin

203/130/130
Reached goal in August 2006
Added BodyBugg in May 2009
New ticker: 136.6/123.2/130
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DogMa
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Postby kendra_m » September 8th, 2006, 6:24 am

Thanks Dogma, for your kind words. I really liked the BFL bars too, are they not replacing them with anything? As far as the exercise, I did pretty much according to their plan... 3 days of cardio and I generally walked/ran on the treadmill. I would walk 4 minutes, then run 1 minute, for the intense interval thing. It took me a bit to work up to running 1 minute cuz I was so out of shape. I don't think it would hurt to do upper and lower weights on the same day twice a week. Just keep in mind that it will increase your need for protein and calorie intake. The other thing is that you might see some weight gain after you've started building muscle, since it weighs more than fat. Still a good thing, cuz your body is so much healthier, but not a happy day at the scale!

Elizabeth, glad to hear things are going along well for you. You're so right about following the plan daily being the thing to increase our confidence. I've realized this week, by being so surprised that I was able to follow this, how little confidence I had in myself about food. But it's really starting to feel completely achievable to me and I only hope that confidence increases as time goes on.

Last night I ate Rosemary Chicken for my L & G (I posted the recipe in Lean Cuisine) and altho it doesn't have much salt at all, I could feel the difference in my body of having more salt. I ate a chicken breast and a cup of cooked veggies and almost felt too full. It was a very strange feeling. It's hard to believe that I was eating something like 5 times the calories that I'm taking in now to maintain my weight before. ICKKKK.

Hope everyone has a great Friday!!!
Image

:hatch: Finding the new me!!
--------------
10# - 9/11/06
20# - 9/24/06
30# - 11/5/06
40# - 11/19/06
kendra_m
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 229
Joined: August 29th, 2006, 8:00 pm
Location: Springfield, IL

Postby DogMa » September 8th, 2006, 8:04 am

Yeah, I've lifted weights before, so I know about the gain. Although I've been lifting for a couple of months now, so I'm pretty much over that (although I usually retain some water when I lift, so the next day I bounce up a bit). That's fine, since I'm on maintenance. I try not to pay as much attention.
Robin

203/130/130
Reached goal in August 2006
Added BodyBugg in May 2009
New ticker: 136.6/123.2/130
Image
User avatar
DogMa
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Joined: June 9th, 2005, 5:40 pm
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Postby kendra_m » September 9th, 2006, 6:00 am

Yesterday was good until evening and then I still stayed on plan, but it wasn't well planned and it just didn't go well. I took my boys to a high school football game, had planned ahead, so I thought. I had oatmeal cookies a 1/2 hour or so before we left. I took a bar with, that I had about 2 hours later at the game. Then it was maybe 2 more hours til we got home and I was hungry and feeling like my body was needing something. I was wanting protein and so ate some LF cottage cheese. It was late so I skipped the green part of my L & G. I drank a big glass of water before I went to bed, cuz I hadn't drank much at the game, wanting to steer clear of the porta potties...ick.
So i was compliant, I just didn't plan very well and as a result, didn't feel great. For the future, I think I'll eat my L&G before we go and will drink more water at a game and will just have to get over the porta pottie thing. I repeat... ICK. ;)
Sooo I learn that I need to plan better when I'm away from home or work for hours at a time. It's strange... I still feel a little water deprived this morning even tho I drank about 100 oz. of water yesterday. Will have to drink plenty today.
Image

:hatch: Finding the new me!!
--------------
10# - 9/11/06
20# - 9/24/06
30# - 11/5/06
40# - 11/19/06
kendra_m
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 229
Joined: August 29th, 2006, 8:00 pm
Location: Springfield, IL

Postby SharonR » September 9th, 2006, 7:25 pm

hi there, I was just reading through your journal and I just want you to know that you are a brave woman who is overcoming so much. I'm sorry that your lost your husband, friend and father to your kids. When I read that I put myself in your shoes and it brought tears to my eyes.

You are doing so good, you do have to plan, thats still an issue although the packets make it easier. You are going to find the new you and I'm so excited to see it with you!
Keep up the great work,
Sharon
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Start Weight 326.7 ~ My short term goal will put me at 250!

Started June 19th 2008. First Mini Goal 76.7 pounds.
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Postby kendra_m » September 9th, 2006, 8:34 pm

Thanks Sharon, so much, for your kind words. My situation is tough at times, but I tell ya, I have felt better during my first week of MF than I have for a long while. Like others have said here, it's a big part of my world that felt out of control before ... and with much in my life right now that relates to things I can't control, it feels great to have eating and food under MY control.

Today went pretty smoothly. I was busy, but planned all my food carefully, so that went fine. Tonight my kids and I went out to eat at Chili's. I had grilled chicken and shrimp and veggies. The portions were too big, but I divided out what I wanted to eat before I started and it worked out great. It was also delicious and I didn't feel like I was missing a thing, even tho my meal was far different than what I would have ordered from there in the past.

I'm sooo looking forward to roll call tomorrow. It's also a big day cuz I'm having a surprise 75th b-day party for my mom. I believe she has no clue, so it will be lots of fun. I've got my eating strategy planned out... at first, I was trying to figure out how to eat my L&G at the party, but decided I just couldn't be compliant, so I'll have a shake right before and will have a bar with me if I am needing something. I feel good about it.
Image

:hatch: Finding the new me!!
--------------
10# - 9/11/06
20# - 9/24/06
30# - 11/5/06
40# - 11/19/06
kendra_m
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 229
Joined: August 29th, 2006, 8:00 pm
Location: Springfield, IL

Postby kendra_m » September 10th, 2006, 6:36 am

As i weigh in today and feel really good about my loss this week, I realize how much fear I've had in starting MF. Food has been such a lifelong issue for me, I really had very little faith in myself that I could make this a success this time. I feel lost sometimes, like I don't quite know what to do with myself without having food to turn to as my familiar companion. I'm trying to visualize it as a friend that I've turned to over and over that hasn't treated me right in return. It's only added fat to my body and made me unhealthy.
I also have this fear of what people will think of me when I'm not a fat person. Now, I've had this warped safety net, this barrier of fat... that if someone doesn't respond to me in the way I hope, I can blame it on the fat. Especially with the opposite sex, if they don't like me, notice me, etc, I automatically blame it on my body size. When I become not obese, I won't have that. I'll have to acknowledge that it's about me, not my size. This sounds pathetic to me even as I write it. I'm a 45 yr old woman for crying out loud... I'm smart, I'm successful in my profession, I'm a good mom, a good friend, I'm attractive.... and I'm walking around with this fear of what other people think of me. I'm just trying to put faith in learning, over the coming months as I lose this weight, not to be so worried about what other people think. I even worry about it here, in this forum... what if people don't like me. Geez... it feels so goofy to even say it.
I'm just trying to accept that this part of the weight loss journey.... learning to love and accept myself... is just as hard as losing the pounds.
Image

:hatch: Finding the new me!!
--------------
10# - 9/11/06
20# - 9/24/06
30# - 11/5/06
40# - 11/19/06
kendra_m
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 229
Joined: August 29th, 2006, 8:00 pm
Location: Springfield, IL

Postby Elizabeth » September 10th, 2006, 6:56 am

Kendra, I just read you lost 12 lbs!! Whohoo! I'm thrilled for you as I know you are!
Have another great week!!! :heart:
Elizabeth
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Posts: 566
Joined: August 3rd, 2006, 5:05 am

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