The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Karli]

Thank you very much, once again, Jo and Diana. I was down another half pound this morning making me a pound down this week (so far)... I'll take it. Probably onderland is just on the horizon... for some reason that will just feel SO good to me.

I have decided that I may post another picture when I reach the first onderland roll call... but we'll see. That would be at least a 38 pound loss. I have talked with an Uncle and Aunt of mine about the program and they have expressed interest. I would LOVE for them to have the same kind of successes that I see people here experiencing. Hello uncle and aunty if you happen to be reading this .

Well, I am happy with MF... quite happy.


Karli

[Karli]

Yesterday I sat across from my husband while he ate a huge and delicious food that I love and used to eat on occasion (pretty healthy actually). I will admit, I was struggling at first while I watched every bite and stared at his plate.

But then, I started thinking about what Unca posted here in my journal just a little while back :

All those foods will still be there when you reach a healthy weight.
You didn't deprive yourself of food, you gave yourself the present of better health

And I realized that I wasn't truly depriving myself of anything, but that I was making a specific choice about my life and the way I am going to live it. I was choosing better health and doing what I need to do to follow that to the best of my abilities at this point. With that I felt more of a sense of peace about the whole thing.

Well, when we got home I went through my drawers and began trying on shorts. At one point, I had completely grown out of my swimming shorts (actual shorts meant for swimming in) and that was pretty depressing. They have a tie-up and a velcro fly, and previously I could not even velcro it and the tie-up did not cover up the space that was exposed since it wouldn't velcro. Well, amongst all the other shorts I put on and fit into again (though still not wanting to wear into public), I fit into those swimming shorts again !

After I went through that little trying clothes on session, I felt very much like the decisions I am making with my life are truly worth it. There is a lot to continue looking forward to, too.

Plus, after a week of feeling like I had reached a plateau, I suddenly had a 2 pound loss lastnight. That helped me realize that you never know what lay around the next bend, and to just stick with it all.


Karli

[Serendipity]

HEY EVERYONE! KARLI HAS A GREAT ATTITUDE!!!!!!!

[sister]

Totally agree about Karli's attitude!!!!

Thanks for sharing it!!!!

Keep workin' it - you're getting a little closer everyday!

[Karli]

Thanks Jo and Sherri... you know, it takes one to know one .


Okay. My second shipment of MF has arrived and once again, I feel so rich . I put everything up in its special little cubby and organized it all. It's practically brimming. Also, I ordered some RTD's this time as they will come in handy while I am out and about and on trips. It's a good feeling to have stuck with this program for almost a month now.

I have so much appreciated all of the support.

Thanks !

Karli

[Karli]

Okay. I spent several days pushing my allowable snacking limits... and now I have realized it's time for that to stop. And the beautiful thing is that I know how to truly pull back the reigns. What a wonderful feeling. I attribute this first to having such a wonderful program to follow such as MF, but also I will give myself credit for recognizing the need to make a change and doing it.

Today I went to a store and I found myself driving my feet over to the candy row... and there is TONS of it. I stood there looking at it... and I thought "why am I here ?" and then I just walked away with ease. More thoughts on this all later because I am not wanting to jinx anything right now.

Anyway, 2 days on plan with no snacks and no diet sodas. I just like it better this way.

I realized one thing that used to keep me eating... I would feel a little droopy and automatically think "oh, I must just be hungry" ... and then I would start thinking that for everything.

...I am not really sad, I am just hungry.

...I am not really tired, I am just hungry.

...I am not really *whatever*, I am just hungry.


WRONG !

In most cases, I was wrong. And I realized that I started doing this with the snacking... and although I don't think I could say that I have cheated, I let one day of feeling like I was tired and therefore needed a pickle turn into a pickle everyday for a few days in a row just because I could. And, while that may not be so horrible, I feel that eating anything when it's not really needed is not the way I want to live my life anymore.

A person could justify eating a lot of things while eating so few calories during the day with MF. But the point is, unless I am adding a lot of exercise, I know I don't need it.

I would get cravings for sugar... or cravings for popcorn, and that turned into allowing myself a diet soda everyday... or even 2... especially when I would get those cravings. Again, not so horrible I think... but, not needed either. And then it turned into having a pickle, an iced decaf with a little cream and artificial sweetner (I have read we are "allowed" this), AND a soda each day for a few days.

Okay, I don't need to fear food, and I think I needed to get through some phase of being afraid to have one of those things if I felt I needed it... but, I am through that now. Generally, I just want the exact plan in packets... and my wonderful water.

The other thing is, I simply do not wish to act on the impulse to snack just to snack... whether I grab something healthy or not. I don't wish to be run by impulses.

Okay... enough babbling for now.



Karli

[Serendipity]

Great post, Karli. I love reading your self-discovery posts! They remind me of me. I found it so liberating when I realized that I didn't have to be eating or thinking about eating ALL the time. You are doing so well, Karli. Keep up the good work!

[Karli]

Feeling a little sober lately... making some good progress in some areas of my life and though it has been needed and even wanted, ultimately, it has not been entirely easy (of course). All the same, I could say I am feeling a greater sense of dominion in my life over those things I know are not in my best interest.

I was away this last weekend and had about 4 RTD's per day, which was kind of a lot for me... I got tired of sweet and have gone savory for a couple of days now. I also found a L/G out twice, and that was a break-through for me.

I am approaching the 30# club with another pound lost overnight, weighing in at 209 this morning (only 1.5#s to go !) and I can say that I am starting to feel thinner. But, I look at my picture in the studio and to be honest, though I felt really embarrassed and disgusted with myself when I first saw the photo, I find myself thinking "I didn't look that bad" and I am hoping that I will find a noticeable difference on the other side of all of this. I suppose that even if it were more how I felt and how I lived my life, that would be worth it.

I will be visiting my family for a week toward the end of August, and I have somewhat contemplated giving the plan a rest for that week. I don't know. One thing I don't want is to feel as though I cannot be disciplined in my eating yet... so generally I feel that until I really feel that food has no power over me, I will keep the structure of MF come hell or high water.

Anyway, that's all for now.


Karli

[Karli]

BAH !!

Okay, that TOM has arrived and I am having *off the charts* cravings for carbs . This is definitely an area of my life where I would have normally just given in to what my body is asking for because I feel I need it. So, I feel like I am fighting the physical AND mental propulsion to eat, eat, eat...

Sometimes in the past couple of days (today especially) I am barely hanging on by a thread with this... but so far I haven't strayed, I don't think. Is it illegal to have a pickle spear AND an MF snack AND a piece of sugarless gum all in the same day ?

Plus I was on the verge of going off track so instead I ate my L/G an hour earlier than normal and will do the same with my last supplement because of it. But, these cravings are probably mostly related to that TOM, right ??? I really, really, really, really, really, hope so .

Sorry, I realize that I am not too uplifting over here .


Karli

[Karli]

Okay, I just have to celebrate a little because somehow I made it through the day without going off program. I am really not sure how though. It came down to me wanting to just go ahead and eat something, and I had decided that I would only eat one actual serving of it, instead of sitting down with the entire package and scarfing it as much as I can handle.

Then I realized that I didn't want just one serving... I wanted the actual sensation of scarfing, and that woke me up from the mesmerism. Just realizing that simple little thing gave me the power (this time) to resist because I didn't want to feed the scarfing appetite.

Something similar happened they other day but in the opposite kinda of manner. I wanted to eat these things and so the temptation said "okay, just have one" but then I realized, if I only wanted one, then all I wanted was the taste, not a meal (plus one would have most definitely led to scarfing). So what was the point ? I wasn't going to feed that appetite either.

I could really use some kind of NSV around now...


Karli

[Serendipity]

I could really use some kind of NSV around now...

Sweety, that was an NSV! I'm so proud of you!

[Karli]

Thanks very much, Jo !

Okay. I have felt a little lost or something this past week... and have been barely hanging on by threads the last couple of days. I am hoping to have turned a corner though. While I believe sometimes it is fashionable to play our accomplishments down, in the past year I have been needing to find a way to recognize my own successes in a level-headed manner.

After Roll Call this morning, and after a few weeks of plateuas and challenges, but staying on program despite it, I have to be kind to myself. I have realized that I have lost almost 30 pounds in 6 weeks, in a healthy way !! That is an average of nearly 5 pounds each week and I will take it. I am in the Two- "O's," nearly 30 pounds down, very close to my halfway mark, and creeping up on Onderland !! I am also truly starting to feel thinner and more comfortable, and see it, too.

Aside from those things, I have also seen myself on the very brink of binging and then realize each time why I don't need to do that. And then I didn't ! I feel like I may be truly learning how to control those urges, and while I know it would not be the end of the world if I slide off once, I really would prefer to be able to have a say in it if I went off or not, that just seems right.

My hubby is gone again for a little while, this next week is a very big week for me musically, I am in the midst of changing a BIG relationship situation which I have had for years, and I am feeling the new school-year starting to be gearing up again. I realize I have issues with eating and loneliness, as well as anxiety/stress, bordem and some other things. I might as well face up to that.

I am not going to make any huge proclaimations about what's to come, but I see a new path to gaining more strength and freedom and I know I need to just follow that obediently. ARGH !!... obedience. That is a whole other thing, but I have realized that I have often mistaken obedience with submissiveness or weakness, and I will admit heartily that I often resist the latter character trait with all my might. One of my goals this week is to really define the difference between those two things. I think it will help.

Thanks so much to those who offer your helping hand to me, I appreciate it very much .


Karli

[Karli]

Okay, my latest one-liner :

'It takes confidence to (want to) live confidently' .... LOL

This came out of me realizing that I have not felt as confident about things over the last number of days, and that leads to me being tempted to act in ways that bring about less confidence (like over-eating). Insecurity breeds insecurity, confidence breeds confidence.

The more confident one feels, the more confidently one lives. And the more confidently one lives, the more confident one feels.


Karli

[Dayna]

You're doing things just right. Hey, my husband is gone this week, too! We should have a sleep-over! Then we can go to the workshop and pass notes and be generally immature and evil. Muwah ha ha ha ha!!! (<---- that was the evil laugh)

We go through cycles, times when we're completely in the Medi-groove, and times when it's more of a challenge. I think (hope) you will see your cravings diminish when TOM is no longer around. You really are doing fabulously. You have stuck with this, and you've made your fittest self a priority. That's significant. Don't listen to those voices that try to keep you from realizing your greatness; they're wrong. And they're stupid. And they suck.

You are a strong, fierce woman of doom! (I mean that in the nicest possible way, of course.) And now you're all of those things, PLUS well on your way to willowy!

Here's to helicopters, and convertibles, and fur coats, and bikinis, and tierras! The world won't know what hit it!

[Prancer]

Hey chick. I just wanted to let you know I wrote back to you in my journal. I wanted to pop in here and tell you that you are doing so well. You seem to be getting over the mental/emotional hurdles too.