The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[supermom]

Today was Jake's first day of kindergarten. Not really a bad thing. He has been going to daycare since he was 8 weeks old. And, only while he was being treated for his cancer was he with me all the time. He has been with me this summer, too. Well, I didn't think he would have any separation issues from us, but maybe Max. They are only 12 months apart in age, and they have always been in the same class in daycare. This is their FIRST time to be separated since the cancer ordeal. Anyway, I was really doing okay. The whole family went and took him for his first day. We put all of his stuff in his locker and said good morning to the teacher and said our goodbyes. Okay so far. Then, as we were walking away, he started running down the hall screaming "PLEASE don't make me grow up. I want to stay little. I don't want to learn to read you can read to me. I don't want to learn math. I don't want to take a wife I don't like girls. PLEASE momma don't make me stay here I love you. I want to stay a little boy. I don't want to grow up." I lost it. Max lost it. He was just clinging to Jake like he would never see him again. Then, Billy lost it in all of the commotion. Then, Jake started screaming at John "PLEASE daddy. Don't you love me? PLEASE if you love me you will let momma take me home. You won't make me stay here. Momma knows how to take care of me. These teachers don't know what I like. Momma can teach me stuff. She knows more that the teachers. She is the smartest person we know. You say that all the time dad. PLEASE don't make me stay." Jake was clinging to me and to John. I have bruises and scratches on my arms and my neck. Then, that is when John lost it. I just feel like a big ol pile of <img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/1/1_4_127.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"> right now.

When we got back home, it hit me. This isn't daycare. This is SCHOOL. They grow up so fast anyway, but once they start school, you can't just go pick them up and go to the park and have ice cream just because you want to anymore. They have to go to school. You can't keep them home on snowy days just because you don't want them to get cold anymore. They have to go to school. He can wear my shoes. They fit comfortably. He stands to my shoulders. He is growing up. He isn't a baby anymore. I am just so sad right now. I just can't seem to stop crying. Any advice??

[GucciGoo]

No advice here.... but I think I will start cherishing the baby time with my 8 month old son a little more! You poor thing. I know that was probably so hard. I would have broken down too.

[supermom]

Yes. Cherish it. They just grow up so fast.

[Sarya]

I wish I had some advice for you, but I'm not a mom and haven't a clue. Just keep your chin up sweetie. He does need to go to school. It's time. And he'll get used to it and love it just as you'll get used to him growing up. *hugs*

Keep yourself focused on your tasks today so that you stay on plan. When your son gets home why not make it a special evening for him to celebrate his first day and show him that you're all still there and love him?

[BamaBabe]

Big hugs to you in dealing with your separation anxiety!


I have four girls, one in 2nd grade, 1 in Kindergarten, and the twins just started K-4. This will get better, I promise! We're all human, regardless of age, and we resist change because it's unfamiliar.

When your lil' guy gets out of school today, greet him with a huge smile & ask him about all the FUN he had! DEFINATELY celebrate the "big first day of school" tonite! Vent out your Mommy-ness by making something cool for dessert tonight - maybe some brightly colored SF Jell-O with stripes of SF Cool-Whip ribboned through it! Throw on a few colored sprinkles, and you have a wonderful, healthy dessert for the whole family, and all the kiddos will feel oh-so-loved and adored! They may come to realize this whole school deal isn't such a bad gig after all

Hang tough, Mommy Bird... teaching them how to fly is also part of the job

Go smile at yourself in the mirror & repeat after me:
"I'm an AWESOME MOMMA!!"

Then, go give yourself a hug for me, because I SOOOOO know how this feels - and I can tell you, it does get easier!!


A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength. - Proverbs 17:22 (NLT)

[Prancer]

It is such a painful experience. It took me a long long time to get over leaving them. I now volunteer at the school so I can see them during the day. Last year I rarely went an entire school day without seeing them. I cant tell you it will get easier because it never did for me. I joke about being happy to see them go back but it will kill me. I am a sahm, they are my life. I feel for you.

[JeepGirl]

**Huggs** Honey! I know how that can be. Eli was a pro when he started but Emma was always home with me by the time she was old enough and it was rough.
It honestly does get better..it takes awhile at times, alot of patience, rewards for good days as well as some tears.
I as well volunteer at the school a few days a week and I love it!.
Now mine are so excited about school everyday and they actually never want to miss a day. Even when they are sick--they fret about what they are missing!
Hang in there Mommy! Just think of all the wonderful new stories he will have when he gets home!

[Elizabeth]

I'm with Jenn on this. I often joke about my kids getting back to school but it is me who is depressed 1 week into school.
Stay strong. If you need help from the teacher, principal or counselor get it. It helped my son for the teacher have a chore for him in the morning. He loves being needed and being helpful. Maybe it is a good idea for only one person (the strongest) to take him to school.
Take care. This must be heart wrenching. I feel for you. You will all get through this.
Hugs to you.

[alohacate]

My son cried every day for two years when I dropped him off at Pre School - I kept a poker face and then I cried in the car on the way to work every day for two years. He's in first grade now, and when I come to pick him up he says: "Can I stay longer Mommy". I hope it gets better for you my dear!

[supermom]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I never had any anxiety when they went to daycare. This is just different for me. I can't really explain it. I wish I could volunteer at the school. But, as many of you know, I am finishing up nursing school this semester and I am starting a new job on a new oncology unit. I will get through this, but I just didn't expect the scene we had this morning. He has NEVER reacted that way before. Not even when we have to go to his oncologist and they have to take him away and do MRI's and such. Not even when he had his brain surgery. He has NEVER been so insistant that we not make him do anything or leave him anywhere. I will pick him up at 3:15 and we are supposed to go to Starbucks. He asked last night if I would take him for coffee when he got out of school. I drink a capp. and he has frozen cocoa. I am counting down the minutes. It is 1:40 here right now! Thanks again.

[Elizabeth]

Enjoy Starbucks
Let us know how he liked his first day!

[loriannk]

I guess I must be a bad mother. I was so happy when school stated so I could have a spare moment to myself. Our school starts Sep. 5th and I am counting down the days.

My girls are 14 months apart and maybe that is why I was happy to get a break. Now that they are in 1st & 3rd grade they drive me nuts everyday. They know every button to push to get a rise out of me. Jeez!

Now my last baby is 15 months (boy). We will see if it is easy letting him go.

[supermom]

My oldest 2 are close too, Lori. Jake and Max are only 12 months apart!! I picked him up and he decided he didn't want Starbucks. He said it was too hot outside. So, we went to Bahama Bucks. He had a mixed fruit cup and I had a diet limeade. Max was really happy to see Jake. It was funny. He ran up the walk way and yelled "JAKE===YOU ARE ALIVE!!!" And hugged him so hard that they both fell down. I think that my 15 year old little brother might have teased him a little last time they were at my parent's place. You know----told him how hard and how boring and how bad homework stinks. Imagine that---A 15 year old picking on a 5 year old. I will ask my mom about it tonite when she calls. But, after thinking about it long and hard today and still not understanding all of the drama, that is all I could come up with.

Lori----You are NOT a bad mother. I, too, was looking forward to it. I thought YES!!! I can take a nap, call a friend, go out to the pool and not get splashed, just enjoy me for a while. But, didn't quite turn out that way. Oh well. I think we will survive.

The only complaint Jake had was that "Everywhere I go, the shooey girls are following me. I think it is this shirt. It smells too nice and don't have no wrinkles. Please, stop washing my clothes."

[JeepGirl]

LMAO @ it smells too nice! That is classic! I hope you make a note of that one!

Ohh Lori your not bad at all.. we counted down the days here because now we can be on business calls and not have to banish the kids from the room while we talk They love school.. not so much in Kindergarten but now they totally love it! As do Craig and I!

[Sojourner]

Laurie!
I'm so glad Jake's day went well. Hey, I thought they were teenagers before they stopped wanting their clothes to smell nice! That's how it was with my stepson anyway! But, I only came into the picture when he was already 10-years-old, so I missed all of the first day of school stuff.

You said that you thought about it long and hard all day and still don't understand the drama -- ask him. That way, you can alleviate any irrational fears he might have had, and may still have deep down. You can also point out how the things he must've feared didn't happen after all -- lol, unless he was anticipatintg the "shooey girls" being all up on him!!!

Well, I'm sorry you had to go through such a crappy day, but am really glad that everything worked out for y'all.