I'm finally back this morning entering in my journal. It's a great feeling. During my absence, I've learned how amazing these boards are for me personally. They truly provide daily motivation and support and I'm grateful to everyone who contributes.
I felt like a alien when I was reading all the posts about how much everyone loves Vegas. Ugh. I guess because when I go there, it is always for work. I can never wait to get out and get home. I also learned during this last trip that I will be much happier when this weight is off. Not that I didn't know that, but after seeing the pictures that came from the event I was really sad. Most of the people I work around are thin and healthy. I remind myself that everyone is different - we all have different genetics, different circumstances in life, different motivations. I think it is so interesting that in my mind, I don't feel as fat as I look in photos! I can't decide if that's a good thing (hey! at least she has confidence) or a bad thing (I could easily balloon up even bigger without a knowledge of how I look to others).
So for me, the little baby steps and indications of loss at this point are really exciting. When those jeans feel even the slightest bit loose, when I see any movement on the scale at all, changing my diet ticker by any amount, etc. I feel that the next 5 pounds will finally be when people start to 'notice' that something is happening.
With my September wedding just a few months away, I've got a beautiful wedding dress ordered and have postponed my first fitting until May 10th. I want to go in and have to have it taken in at least a little. I've putten off buying absolutely anything for my honeymoon (which is to a surprise location) for at least a couple of months. I know that I'll be so much happier as a size 10 bride (or size 6, 8, 12) than a 14/16.
I've also learned that this program is truly a day-at-a-time process for me. Sometimes an hour at a time. It's amazing what a powerful force food can be in my life. I have gained such respect for many of my friends who are recovering alcoholics or have quit smoking. What resolve that much take and they do it everyday. Although it is different (as I believe alcoholism is a disease) the struggle to stay 'clean' must be somewhat similar.
Anyway, it's great to be back. Great to be focused again and I appreciate you all more than you know.
As Tawanda says, make it a compliant and happy day. (I'm paraphrasing).
I tell ya. Don't listen to them......they're liars. They are like wolves in sheep's clothing.
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