The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DonicaB]

Thanks everyone......I feel great about the weight loss.

Eric~I'm not completely sure about the water weight concept. I'm sure someone will have an answer for you. For some reason our bodies retain water when we do not drink enough of it. When we begin drinking more water, our bodies release some of the water it is holding on to. Why? I have no idea. I'm sure we will both get an answer soon.

[Karli]

Survival . I don't really know but I assume it's something similar to why our bodies hold onto the fat when it thinks we are starving if we haven't eaten enough.

"They" say if you are lost in the wilderness (in the snow and cold) your survival priorities (how long you will last without) are as follows :

3 weeks without food
3 days without water
3 hours without shelter

So, water is pretty important. I guess

[DonicaB]

On a different note...........something my DH said to me last night just keeps buggin me today. Over the past several days I have been doing my usual.....talking about MF and why I believe I struggle with losing weight. He said to me, "I don't care what you have to do, I want you to be thin." Now, I realize that, in itself, is not a horrible statement. The problem is he has been making those remarks nearly every day since I re-started. Last night I finally told him that I got it. I got it. I got it. I'm not sure why it bothered me so.

He has always been wonderful about my weight. He has never made me feel like he didn't love me just the way I am. I have always known he would prefer me to lose weight, but he doesn't say it.

Another thing that really gets under my skin is the type of women on TV that he finds attractive. They are always toothpicks that look anorexic to me. I have never been that way even when we met. I have always been a curvy girl. When we met I was not overweight, not even a little, but I have never been toothpick thin. I guess I don't understand why he was so attracted to me when I don't seem to be his physical body type.

Please don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man. He is a great husband and father. I love him dearly, this is just one thing that has always bothered me. (BTW we have been married 19 years, it will be 20 in August) I just want him to be attracted to women like me. Is that wrong? Am I crazy? I should stop complaining!!!!

[Karli]

You are not crazy. However, I guess people like what they like (no matter how ignorant the preference may be ). Do you like his body type ? Just be your sexy self, if he doesn't see it, that's his loss -- it doesn't mean you're not the most beautiful woman in the world (we should all be able to feel that way, don't you think ?).

I have to say, I would be a little annoyed at his comments to you... I am kind of annoyed just reading them. But, sometimes people just say things without thinking about how it is going to sound.

I do suspect, though, that after nearly 20 years of marriage you have some kind of understanding with each other. Maybe enough to let him know what bothers you ?

[DonicaB]

Oh don't worry Karli~~~~I let him know how I feel. Actually we have a wonderful relationship. He has been my earthly rock through many, many life struggles. (God is my ultimate rock)

I guess you're right. I actually like men who are taller than he is and more muscular. However, he is the man I love, so I don't really care if he isn't 6'3" (he's 5'11"). One thing I have always respected about him is the fact that he works really hard to stay in shape. I believe he actually tries to be more muscular because he knows that's what I am attracted to. I can't say I have done the same (however, there is no way I will ever be a toothpick, but that doesn't mean I have to be fat either)

[Karli]

hee hee... okay, Donica. I will stop worrying . Yeah, I realized that I had to let go of what I thought was my ideal body type in a man (and I am glad I did -- in my case I was very unimaginative). My husband is quite handsome, but there are things about him that the magazines would air-brush out (or add on ). But, it doesn't really matter for the same reasons you described in your post. He does keep himself in very good shape and is an avid bicycler, I love that expression of life in him. When I look at him, all I see is the man that I love (okay, well, mostly... hee hee).

His girlfriend before I came along was about a foot shorter than I am and completely *WAFER* thin. I felt like the incredible hulk in comparison (okay, without the muscles or the green skin ... hee hee). But, I do trust that he really loves me and I know that he does find me to be beautiful and attractive, even if it's just that he looks at me and sees the woman he loves and is married to. Ultimately, my sense of feeling beautiful, though, does not rest in his nor anybody else's approval of me (and I know it doesn't for you, either). I will admit, the outside approval doesn't hurt, but that's no longer why I want to be beautiful.

I think beauty is mostly about accentuating the "positive" anyway. So, if you are curvey, then let those curves speak to the world in their best possible ways . You know people will listen .

[DonicaB]

I'm feeling great today. I did however, miss my first shake of the day because I was running very late for work. I had my first shake at 10:30 and honestly I almost forgot that one too. I have to run down to the teacher's lounge in between classes and pick up a RTD. Fortunately, my students do typing drills for the first 15 to 20 minutes of class so I don't have to talk much and I can enjoy my shake.

I'm on my conference period now, but really wanted to log on and write some posts.

The school's biggest loser competition begins tomorrow. I have to weigh in, which I am very nervous about. I almost feel nauseous just thinking about it. I never weigh my with clothes on, but I don't think they want to see me in the buff. I know it's really not that big of a deal, but I don't like the thought of others knowing what I weigh. I won't even put it on my ticker..... I'm going to do it though because I feel like the competition will be good for me. I especially like the accountability factor. The building I teach in is a team and we are competing against other buildings. I'm looking forward to winning.

It is amazing how in just one week my pants already are feeling so much better. I mean I can button them and I don't even have to unbutton them after I fasten my belt. (You know that gives a little extra room) I can actually keep them buttoned all day and still breath.

Well, gotta run. I need to use of my conference period to do work.

[DonicaB]

Well, I'm going to spend a nice quiet evening at home with my DH. It seems like we are on the go constantly.

I am finding it very hard to stay off of the scales. I always have this problem. When I'm not watching what I eat, I never want to get on the scales, but when I think I might be losing, I want to get on them every day, sometimes 2 and 3 times a day. It just seems like another obsessive behavior. I think I might try taking them out of the bathroom except for Sunday's roll call.

I love seeing the scale move down, but get discouraged if it doesn't. I want to focus on doing this right and sticking to it and not on the scale. The scale will move, if I stay compliant and focused on the goal.

I'm so happy I decided to give MF another try. I am determined to get to my goal this time and stay there. I want to be thin!!!!!! I want to be thin!!!!! I want to be thin!!!!!

[QT2Lose45]

only 2 or 3 times a day?! that's it?!!! j/k.... actually that's not that bad... i probably get on like 10 times a day... i had to stop, cuz it fluctuates too much during the day... so now i get on in the morning (about 10 times in a row!) and maybe if i'm obsessing before i go to bed.

i'm glad you are having some time to relax with your DH!!! have a great night...

[casma500]

welcome donica~
i am trying to catch up on all the journals and read yours tonight ~ i SO wish i had someone to compete with, because it would definitely help me. i too obsessed with the scale and had to do what you are talking about -- move it into the highest shelf on the cabinet so it is a huge pain to get to. I do weigh in on Wed and then on Sunday. I feel like that still gives me a chance to "work harder" the last half of the week. But i'm not getting on it constantly ~

glad to have you here

[DonicaB]

I had a very disturbing day at work. I actually am home early because I was sent home for mental and emotional rest. I'm not comfortable writing everything that occurred at school today, but I will say I had to write a police report. I'm fine, but I am a little shaken up. I have never had anything like that occur before. Needless to say, I am majorly struggling with not eating everything in the house. So far the worse I have done is have a supplement too early, but I can feel the urge to eat. I tried to watch a little TV when I got home, but found that seemed to make it worse so I decided to come here instead.

I don't want to blow, but I am home alone, stressed, and there is food here. Bad, Bad, Bad combination. I'm trying very hard to stay focused and compliant. I think just writing this will help.

[Taangrl21]

Try taking a nice hot shower and taking a nap to chill out....they may help relax your body. If not call a friend or family member and vent to get it all out...just some ideas.I am sorry your day has been a rotten one, I really hope it gets better...

[Karli]

(...) so I decided to come here instead.

What a most excellent decision . Sorry to hear about your day, Donica. I can only imagine what you must be going through. My husband teaches music in a public middle school and everyday he goes I am always working to keep harmonious thoughts in mind. I know things can get a little gnarly there.

You know, the thing is that no matter what you are feeling now, eating to try to comfort it is not going to make it any better, and most likely it will just stack more on top of it to deal with later. You know that. So, don't believe the lure. I find that I don't believe the lure when I really see through it. What would it possibly give you ? Especially since what you need can't even possibly be found in it .

A taste or texture will not give you strength, they won't give you courage, they won't give you peace, and they won't make everything okay (or even slightly better) -- not this time, not last time, not next time; NOT EVER. This is part of the reality we are being required to face in what we are challenging ourselves to do. And, you can do it because you know where to find those things that you need (and that food cannot supply for you) .

Keep writing. Keep breathing. Suck in life, whatever it seems to be handing you right now. Breathe in deeply and stand strongly... that's what this is all about . A hot shower or bath like Debra mentioned sounds great, too .

Thinking of you,
Karli

[bikipatra]

I wish I was there with my monster supply of unused benzos...seriously though, you were very brave in coming here and fighting temptation and fighting for the change you want in your life. You may need an extra supplement today because you were probably thrown all off by an exhausting fight or flight response. I hope you feel better soon and can soothe yourself.

[DonicaB]

Thanks ladies.....I did exactly what you suggested and took a long hot bubbly bath in my jacuzzi tub and then took a nice little nap. It helped out tremendously and I managed to stay compliant the entire day.

I couldn't feel too sorry for myself yesterday because of the wonderful news we got here in the midwest (Missouri) that the 2 boys who had been kidnapped were found. The one boy had been missing for 4 years. It is such an answer to prayer. It is absolutely amazing.

Anyway, just wanted to say I am fine this morning and I'm glad I have a 3 day weekend.

Gotta run, I'm sure I will get on later because we are iced in.

DonicaB