Baby Trace

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Baby Trace

Postby BabyTrace » August 8th, 2007, 5:58 am

I’ve been reading the boards for several weeks and have identified with so much of what many members have written. I have been inspired to not only start the plan, but to participate in the forum.

You see, that’s a big deal for me because I have this tendency to withdraw and try to deal with issues on my own. Luckily, I’m slowly beginning to realize that it can be helpful to be part of a community that encourages me and reminds me that I am not alone.

I’ve spent the past several years yo-yo dieting. It seems like I spend a year losing weight, then the next year I gain it all back plus 10 lbs only to start all over again. Every time I lose I vow never to gain the weight back, but before long I become complacent. I live in denial ignoring the fact that I am gaining and before long it has all crept back on me. I haven’t quite figured out exactly why I do that.

Sometimes I say I must have “Reverse Anorexia”. You know how some anorexics look in the mirror and instead of bones they see a fat person? I’m right the opposite. I can grow to a size 18 but still look in the mirror and see a size 6. Now photos, that’s another story. That’s when my mind actually catches up with reality. Just posting my avatar was another major step!

This has proven to be a really stressful summer for me. Due to a recent promotion, my husband is currently in another state while I am 700 miles away. (I will be joining him in October.) What should have been a very exciting time of new opportunities has turned into a big pile of stress for me dealing with selling our house in Michigan and finding a new one in Nashville. I basically spent the entire month of June alone and binging on McDonalds and ice cream. My anxiety was so bad I was eating anything and everything in sight. I was feeling really low. I was disgusted with myself and having tons of self doubt. I finally decided enough was enough and made an appointment with my physician. He prescribed Effexor for my anxiety and suggested that I start a diet plan.

That was 4 weeks ago. I am happy to say I am managing my anxiety without turning to food and I’m in my 29th day of compliance. As a result I’ve dropped 14 lbs! I have resolved to use this time alone to “get a handle on myself” –both physically and mentally. Now I can’t wait to see my husband in October and knock his socks off!

Tracy

My Stats:
I’m 36, married with no kids
I’m 5’2
My starting weight was 190.6
My initial goal is to lose 50 lbs
Start Date: 07/11/2007

The essence of growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
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BabyTrace
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Joined: July 27th, 2007, 8:54 am
Location: Nashville, TN

Re: Baby Trace

Postby bikipatra » August 8th, 2007, 6:27 am

BabyTrace wrote:.



Sometimes I say I must have “Reverse Anorexia”. You know how some anorexics look in the mirror and instead of bones they see a fat person? I’m right the opposite. I can grow to a size 18 but still look in the mirror and see a size 6. Now photos, that’s another story. That’s when my mind actually catches up with reality. Just posting my avatar was another major step!

I suffered from the same phenomenom. I wasn't a yo-yo dieter but had never been overweight until almost 5 years ago. I just kept packing on the pounds (eventually 100) but kept walking around like I was some slightly voluptuous sexy thing. I really focused on my hair, make-up and nice clothing and that is what I saw in the mirror. I was wearing size 24 to 28 pants and thought I was looking good. I probably post more "before"(FAT) pics of anyone on this board because I put them in my journal as gratitude pics. I need to remember because I never want to go back to that. To find fat photos of myself I had to go on photo disks from old vacations because there were none around the house. To me they didn't exist. Now I don't allow myself to forget them.
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
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Postby queenielou » August 8th, 2007, 7:56 am

Hello,

14 pounds in 29 days is outstanding! I'm glad you're here. You'll be down 50 pounds in no time :)
Start: 4/21/2007
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Postby BabyTrace » August 9th, 2007, 7:27 am

Thanks Biki and Queenie for stopping by!

Biki, I can totally relate to focusing on the hair, makeup and clothing. And let's not forget the accessories! :lol: When I'm heavy the only thing I like to shop for is purses and shoes. Trying on clothes is way too depressing. The mirror at home may lie, but for me there's no hiding from a three way mirror under fluorescent lighting!

Tracy
Start Date: 07/11/2007

The essence of growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
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Postby BabyTrace » August 9th, 2007, 7:40 am

Day 30 of Compliance

Today is the 6th day in a row that I've had little or no change in the scale. I've been flirting around the same weight since last week. I know all I have to do is stay compliant, but it does get frustrating! :x

This morning I had two dreams about eating off plan. In the first it was as if the fact that I was eating off plan did not dawn on me until I popped the last hash round from a BK breakfast meal in my mouth. :shock: In the dream I was so disappointed when I realized what I had done!

The second dream was similar. I was preparing what I thought was MF chicken noodle, but when I went to check the stove it was actually Ramen noodles. I noticed just in time to avoid eating off plan.

Both are bizarre considering the fact that I have had no real temptation to cheat since beginning MF. Our subconscious works in mysterious ways!

Off to tackle the day...practicing compliance and patience...lots of patience... ;)
Start Date: 07/11/2007

The essence of growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
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BabyTrace
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Joined: July 27th, 2007, 8:54 am
Location: Nashville, TN

Postby bikipatra » August 9th, 2007, 7:44 am

BabyTrace wrote:. And let's not forget the accessories! :lol: When I'm heavy the only thing I like to shop for is purses and shoes. Tracy

Even accessories let me down sometimes. I bought some Dior ballet flats a few months ago and they fit but are just tight in a way that shoes are on fatter feet.
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
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Postby Diana » August 9th, 2007, 9:58 am

Hi, Tracy! Very nice to meet you and welcome to our little community. (Sorry I haven't gotten around to that before.)

I certainly understand your frustration. It's common, trust me! But you're absolutely -- stay compliant and it will pay off. Sometimes your body will halt the progress as if to take stock of itself, and sometimes your weight won't change but your shape will. In the end, though, you'll get there!
Here's to our mutual success! :buddies: --Diana
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Postby BabyTrace » August 10th, 2007, 7:17 am

Day 31 of Compliance

Finally! Down 1.6 from yesterday and finally to the 175 mark. I know, I know patience and compliance pays off! :D

Today...I'm just happy to be here!

Tracy
Start Date: 07/11/2007

The essence of growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
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BabyTrace
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Posts: 389
Joined: July 27th, 2007, 8:54 am
Location: Nashville, TN

Postby Tawanda » August 10th, 2007, 7:26 am

Welcome to you! (I thought I already said that, but don't see it here and maybe I forgot :oops: to hit submit? :lol:) Glad you are here and that you are doing so well.
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Postby Mickeyz » August 10th, 2007, 7:36 am

Welcome, :wave:

I know what you mean about looking in the mirror and being in denial. One day I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a sliding glass door standing next to my 125 lb SIL and I was shocked. :shock: Who is that fat person? :lol:

Sounds like you have gotten off to a terrific start. You must already be seeing a difference in the way your clothes fit. I love shoes, and now I am fiding that with nearly 40 lbs gone, some of my beloved shoes are too big. :cry: Guess that means I will just have to go shopping! tsk tsk :lol:
Reached Goal Nov 2007 61.5 lbs lost
Gained 11 lbs in Mexico 3/08, decided to lose that along with another 5 lbs!
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Postby bikipatra » August 10th, 2007, 7:40 am

Mickeyz wrote: I love shoes, and now I am fiding that with nearly 40 lbs gone, some of my beloved shoes are too big. :cry: Guess that means I will just have to go shopping! tsk tsk :lol:

I have gone from a 7 to a 6.5. I still feel like one of Cinderella's ugly step sisters when I try to fit my foot into the size 6 Pradas I insisted on keeping.
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
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Postby Hopebaby » August 10th, 2007, 9:36 am

BabyTrace wrote:Day 30 of Compliance

Today is the 6th day in a row that I've had little or no change in the scale. I've been flirting around the same weight since last week. I know all I have to do is stay compliant, but it does get frustrating! :x

This morning I had two dreams about eating off plan. In the first it was as if the fact that I was eating off plan did not dawn on me until I popped the last hash round from a BK breakfast meal in my mouth. :shock: In the dream I was so disappointed when I realized what I had done!

The second dream was similar. I was preparing what I thought was MF chicken noodle, but when I went to check the stove it was actually Ramen noodles. I noticed just in time to avoid eating off plan.

Both are bizarre considering the fact that I have had no real temptation to cheat since beginning MF. Our subconscious works in mysterious ways!

Off to tackle the day...practicing compliance and patience...lots of patience... ;)


Tracy - that is so weird about the dreams! Couldn't you have at least picked something good to dream about off-plan? ;)

I used to have dreams like that when I quit smoking. I would be so upset and disappointed in myself when I realized I was smoking. Then when I woke up it would take me a while to realize it was just a dream and I did NOT smoke!

You are doing great! Keep up the good work. I bet the scale gods will smile at you and the number will move this weekend.

Linda
SD 8/10/07
205/175/130
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Postby BabyTrace » August 11th, 2007, 7:19 am

Mickeyz wrote:
I know what you mean about looking in the mirror and being in denial. One day I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a sliding glass door standing next to my 125 lb SIL and I was shocked. :shock: Who is that fat person? :lol:



Mickey, that mirror reflection vs. glass door reflection is definitely a phenomenon! I can get ready at home and look in the mirror feeling all cute and sassy. Then get to the mall and catch my reflection in the door walking in :shock: and feel like I morphed into another person on the way there. Unfortunately that usually lets the wind out of my sails. I can't wait until I'm happy with my reflection regardless of the source!

We're getting there...one day at a time!
Last edited by BabyTrace on August 11th, 2007, 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Start Date: 07/11/2007

The essence of growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
User avatar
BabyTrace
Preferred Member - #50 Club
 
Posts: 389
Joined: July 27th, 2007, 8:54 am
Location: Nashville, TN

Postby BabyTrace » August 11th, 2007, 7:28 am

Day 32 of Compliance
Down another .6 lbs this morning. 174.4 Yea Me! :cheerleader: It's thrilling to see a loss two days in a row after the trying times I've had with the scale this week.

Yesterday I started my exercise. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical then 60 ab crunches. I've already gotten in today's 30 minutes and more crunches. I've been inspired by so many people's excercising lately that I decided it was time for me to join in. I'm already starting to feel the high of knowing I did something good for myself!
Last edited by BabyTrace on August 11th, 2007, 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Start Date: 07/11/2007

The essence of growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
User avatar
BabyTrace
Preferred Member - #50 Club
 
Posts: 389
Joined: July 27th, 2007, 8:54 am
Location: Nashville, TN

Postby Hopebaby » August 11th, 2007, 7:35 am

Good morning Tracy! Congrats on the compliance, the scale victory and starting to exercise! I'll see if I can follow in your footsteps!

Linda
SD 8/10/07
205/175/130
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