The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Karli]

That you were looking a little chunky ?

I was talking with an acquaintance the other day who was commenting on the fact that it looks like I have lost some weight. As his wife is a possible candadite for the program, I was pretty honest with my journey thus far.

He decided to take that as an opportunity to let me know that I had been looking pretty chunky for a while there and that my face was looking like a moon... LOL. I haven't heard that one before (not that I shouldn't have). He went on to say how tall people (like me) cannot gain weight without becoming truly monumental, taking up LOTS of space... heh. Well, I was a little embarrassed at first, but then again, why should I be ? Anyway, I chalked that all up to social inedicate.

However, it did get me thinking. Everybody had been pretty polite to me about my gaining of weight. I did have one friend who would hint at some things, but nothing too severe. I never had anybody just tell me "you really need to do something about this weight thing." And I wonder, would I have wished somebody did ?

Before I started the program, I did see one picture of myself that really surprised me... I looked so much bigger than I thought I was. I thought maybe the angles weren't right or something (it was actually a film), but no, I really had gained some serious weight.

I wonder if somebody telling me outright, like a child does sometimes, if that would have been motivating or not ?

I am kinda thinking I would have sunk into a deep, dark, black, hole. Mainly because I didn't really know what I was doing then. I had no idea how to permanently get myself out of trouble. And even if a comment like that would have spurred me onto a health kick, I never would have found MF... a true help in having solutions become permanent.

So anyway, do you ever wish somebody would've just told you ?


That's what I want to know.

Karli

[mel]

I knew I was overweight. On the rare occasion I would see a full body picture, I was surprised by my size. I never saw myself as being that big in the mirror.

I suppose people often assume you know how big you are. I also think people know that weight is a sensitive issue. I wouldn't ever dream of telling anyone I think they ought to lose weight. They should know whether or not they want and/or need to.

I personally wouldn't have wanted anyone mentioning my size, for any reason. I hated the first time I saw the word "obese" in my medical record. Anytime I would get on the scale at the doctor's office, the nurse would start at 150 and slide it up, and be genuinely be surprised that she needed to start at 200. All nurses have always said "you don't look like you weigh {insert weight at the time}" which, of course, reassured me that I carried my weight well. (Which I did, for a while... until I had a baby.)

So yeah... now that I've written a novel here's the short answer:
No, I don't wish someone had told me how big I'd gotten.

[alohacate]

People did tell me, but I was in DENIAL. At a doctor's visit an intern asked me if I had been given my gastric bypass referral (I was thinkin hey buddy - your twice as big as me). My Epiphany came when I was sitting at work in my work truck and I looked down and it looked like I had three sets of DDD breasts. I went to "smooth" my shirt and realized the rolls were me...........AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

[alpha femme]

i had a post like this when this thread first started.

basically, i think there is a point when we are just a little chunky and it would be reaaaally beneficial to have some one say, "lay off the cookies before you have a real problem."

[Serendipity]

Nope, I didn't want to hear it. My husband would try to be helpful and say things like "do you really want to eat that?" and other huge hints and it just made things worse for me.

Over the years I've suffered countless humiliations and comments that didn't help me to decide to lose weight. I don't think that someone telling me outright would have helped. I knew.

[JeepGirl]

Seeing as most of my family are overweight it was Never spoken of anywhere. Even Craig never said...hmm Honey you need to do something about this. He still swears that "he loves me no matter what" well it isnt a problem of loving me..it was the issue of wanting me healthy..which No one ever said.

My crowning moment was when Emma said..Mommy a kid in my class said You are FAT! I was mortified that Emma was embarassed cause her Mommy was Fat!

I decided that day to do something and I am!!

[DogMa]

I knew I was overweight; if anything, I've always thought I looked worse than I actually did. So no, I didn't need - and definitely didn't WANT - anyone to point it out to me. I would have been very hurt if they had, actually.

Besides, other than when I lost the weight for a few years in my 20s, I've been overweight since I was about 11. So if someone had come to me when I was 11 or 12 to tell me I was chunky? I would have been devastated. My self-esteem was bad enough as it was. (And actually, my dad DID talk to me when I was a teenager. Offered to pay for Weight Watchers, which I first joined at 18. I lost the 15 pounds or so I needed to lose at the time - and then gained about 50.)

[kendra_m]

In my teen years, I had a couple people talk to me... it definitely did not help. My grandma once offered me a new wardrobe if I 'would just lose that weight.' Then once, to my mortification, a teacher in high school leaned down to me while I was sitting in the cafeteria eating a piece of cake and said 'ya know, if you didn't eat that stuff, you might not have such a problem.'
Such things just made my self esteem plummet.

I tend to think that realizing it yourself is part of the journey, part of what propels us to change.

[Denise]

I had gained 50 lbs over 2 years and not one person said anything to me.
I am glad about that...I really didnt want to hear what I already knew. It was already tough enough to get up and look and myself in the mirror...it was almost unreal. That being said..I am approaching 60lbs gone...and most people dont have a clue that I have lost that much weight...I think they think it is probably 20 lbs! I guess its all good...its all about how I feel!

[VictoriousNat]

They did and I would cry and eat more....alas.

[Jen]

I tend to think that realizing it yourself is part of the journey, part of what propels us to change.

I totally agree. We know we are fat, but until we are ready to create a healthier lifestyle, those comments only inflict pain.

Nobody else can take the donut out of my mouth but me.

[mellowmom]

Ditto what Kendra said. I knew I was fat, but to be truthful, I didn't realize how fat I truly looked. Whenever I saw pictures, I thought there was something wrong with the camera...not me. So, no one ever told me I was fat except for my husband, once when we were having a "disagreement". Made me want to eat more...not less.

Funny thing is now that I've lost a lot of weight, I have problems seeing myself as "thinner". Yesterday, I went to my old workplace and people there literally did doubletakes... At least three people said they didn't even recognize me until I opened my mouth and they heard my voice. They all said I looked great...and I have a hard time believing that also.

So to make a short story long... No, I wouldn't have wanted to hear people tell me that I needed to lose weight. It would have just hurt and not generated any action on my part, just hurt feelings. I had to take responsibility for my weight and acknowledge I had the problem before anything could be done to change.

But thanks for asking....

[monkeegirl]

I think it was something I knew inside, but just didn't know what to do to help myself. If someone just told me I am fat, I think it would have just made me feel worse. Well, it did make me feel worse, my dad told me all the time, lol. He always has such a way with words, bless his heart. Funny thing is, he is no skinny minny either, so I told him that one day, after he commented on how his tiny daughter has gotten so chubby, and I told him I guess I take after you, Dad. He just looked at me for a few seconds, (I was getting scared! I never talk back to my dad, even at 34 yrs. old!) and he threw back his head and laughed! I learned alot that day, that my father has a sense of humor, and that I am not a child anymore that needs to feel afraid to speak up.

[GucciGoo]

My mother is pretty harsh with telling me when I gain weight. But when I started MF only a few months after having a baby I think she (and everyone else) spared the comments.

I did get some comments from idiot co- workers like "Wow, you butt is sure getting bigger!".

[kmr]

Personally.....I think people in general know when they are over weight and don't need to be told, just like people will lose the weight when they are ready and it is their time to.
Oh... and Karli.....I hope you told that guy in your post that made that ignorant comment to you to......Go blow it out his a*s!!!! Only kidding...I know you wouldn't....but I definitely would have! I guess my PMS has arrived!