The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Carrie]

Hi Gang,

We all have days when this hardly seems worth it. It’s too hard, and it would be too darn easy to quit. The days when we’re depressed or down emotionally feel like they take a tremendous toll, and we struggle to see past the momentary misery. Sometimes it seems nearly impossible to look ahead to the relief of achieving our long term goal. We listen to Mike pushing and prodding us to keep trying and we hear him talk about the euphoria – and from the dim recesses of our misery we say – ‘Huh? Euphoria????? There’s no one here by that name.’ Well, let me step up to the pulpit, brothers and sisters, and preach a little sermon called ‘Carrie went out Friday night’.

I didn’t really feel like going out – but one of my favorite performers, (and friend as well), was in town and I knew I should at least go and be seen supporting him. Before starting Medifast, I was quite the party girl, out often, with a whole passel of good friends. In an effort to stick with my diet, I haven't been going out much lately, so it'd been awhile since I'd seen everybody.

A few weeks ago, I had purchased a pair of capris in a smaller size (1X), but they had still been too snug to wear. I decided to try them and guess what? They fit great (well actually they’re a little baggy!) So I wore them and a blouse that I haven't been able to wear in years. It's the first time I've delved into the smaller clothes, but my others are just getting too baggy to be worn (YAY!). I was feelin' good about myself for being able to wear the smaller sizes.

I got there and I swear it was like a dream.

First I saw Barbara, whom I haven't seen since I started (ie 40.9 pounds ago). Her eyes about fell out of her head, she said something about how great I look, I got this huge grin on my face, and it stayed there all night! A few minutes later she turned around again and said 'My GOD Girl, I can't believe it, how much have you lost?' So I told her and I was PROUD of it, none of this being bashful about numbers and pounds - by the end of the night I was proudly telling MEN how many pounds I've lost.

In varying ways, this scenario was played out probably 25 times, in 3 different bars. Girlfriends, guy friends, everybody that saw me said something about it. My friend Clint came over and said 'Girl, life is REALLY agreeing with you.' So I said something about working at losing weight, got a long way to go, working hard at it, etc' And he said 'Well, I didn't know if it was polite to mention your weight in particular, but DAMN GIRL, you look FINE!' And then he said 'I'm so proud of you.' And I realized that I’m proud of me too.

At one point I realized all of a sudden that I was sitting on my barstool with my drink (iced tea) casually perched between my legs ON THE BARSTOOL. There was ROOM for my DRINK and my BEHIND on the BARSTOOL, because I don't need the whole thing anymore! WAHOO!!!!!

I don't know how to say all this so that you can understand – cause I really didn’t ‘get it’ all this time Mike’s been talking about it. But I get it now. And IT IS WORTH THE WORK. IT IS WORTH EVERY MOMENT OF THE STRUGGLE.

I was just positively bubbling over with pride, confidence, happiness, EUPHORIA. I know my huge grin stayed plastered to my face all night.

I also could see a difference in the amount of male attention - men are definitely looking - and liking - again.

And all that stuff was just great - like better than the best drug you could ever do, but all that stuff was just the icing on the cake. The REAL miracle, the REAL TRUTH, is that, for that evening, I was who I used to be - before the fat. I have long felt that being fat has prevented me from being able to be me. It forced me to feel shame and doubt and ‘cover up’ the real me with all those feelings of negativity, and self-loathing for being fat. In a way, I can say that I haven’t been me for years because of this.

But I know now - that flirtatious, open-hearted, bubbly, joyful, confident girl is still in here. I didn't know that. I thought she was gone, but no, she'd just been smothered into silence. SHE'S STILL IN HERE, that person I've been missing all these years, wishing I could still be. I can't even tell you what that means to me.

I just didn't know. I did not know it could ever feel this good. And if it's this way after 40 pounds, imagine what it's going to be like after 80 and 100! I am going to be able to leave the fat AND the fat person behind, and be who I was before.

And if that wasn’t great enough, Sunday I drove up to my Aunt's and she took in several pieces of my clothing for me. I sat there when she was done and cut off the excess material and THREW IT AWAY - another major ego booster.

YES!

I am even looking forward now to my next step - joining a gym and exercising. I know now that every time I stick with my program, every time I do something to keep losing weight, is one step closer to reclaiming myself, to getting to be that girl I was Friday night ALL THE TIME. I don’t care if it takes me 4 more months or a whole year. NOTHING, no delicious food, no depressing moment, is worth sabotaging what I felt, and still feel.

When I have my next bad day, I am going to read this post. Hopefully it’ll help you too. We all deserve this, and if you haven’t felt it yet – it’s coming your way. Just keeping working towards it.

Carrie

[explorthis]

And if it's this way after 40 pounds, imagine what it's going to be like after 80 and 100! I am going to be able to leave the fat AND the fat person behind,

NOTHING, no delicious food, no depressing moment, is worth sabotaging what I felt, and still feel.

All I can say (nope it’s not I told you so) is CONGRATULATIONS.

Nothing is (even your health at this point counts) a better feeling of EUPHORIA than people actually noticing you have lost weight. We (most of us here) have been overweight for SOOOO long; we do not know what it feels like on the other side of the fence! Welcome to the other side.

Every one of you can feel this, everyone of you need to know what it feels like. Just ask Carrie. Actually don’t ask Carrie, look at her post!

This can and will happen to you, all of you, if you are faithful, as she is being. Look at her statement “NOTHING" is worth the pain of sabotaging this feeling.

DO IT NOW.

CONGRATULATIONS to you.

I promise you, that the surface is only scratched, there is more to come. 5+ months for me, and it is still EUPHORIC!!!

-Mike

[Ria]

Carrie, all I can say is WOW! I am so happy for you!!! I can't wait to get to the place where you went on Friday Night...Euphoria that is. Your post was indeed very inspirational. Thanks for takign the time to write it!

184/176/130

[Amanda]

I'm so happy for you Carrie, It is great to have confidence and self esteem back after losing it. I am slowly getting mine back and i feel just like you when i get a comment on my weight loss, yours is twice as much as mine so far so I can just imagine. I had a pair of capris i wore before i gained weight and i wore them this weekend -for the 1st time on over a year, it felt soooo good to be in them and they were big on me- i know how you feel- keep it up .

[Landylue]

Carrie! I loved your remark about the barstool! The ways we discover that we can measure our success are absolutely limitless. I was sitting on the front steps the other evening--ankles together, knees together--and I actually saw several inches of daylight between my thighs! So what, some might be saying...so EVERYTHING!!! Daylight, guys!!! I could also really relate to Nancy's latest newsletter about wearing out the material between the legs before the color of the pants even had a chance to fade. I don't even make that embaressing swishing noise when I walk in a pair of pantyhose any longer! Now THAT'S something not even MIKE can boast! At least, I hope not. . .

Ah, sweet victory!

Congratulations, Carrie. May you have many more evenings like that to come.

Landylue

[TamiL]

Carrie...Im so proud of ya girl....and Landylue..your almost out of the 160's...WOW!! YOU GIRLS are doing GREAT!! keep up the great work!!
I too Carrie..had a similar "outing" latley..its funny, because you never get tired of hearing "wow..you look great"!!! I always see my reflection in the mirror and think its going to be one of the OLD me at 185 pounds..that is the reflection I still see at times, as we all do I think will always have this mental picture of ourselves in our minds..untill we really look at that reflection....and do a double take..."wow...thats me and I do look pretty damn good"!!!! I am and always have been very hard on myself...Although I have been at a stand still latley...I have lost 30 pounds...still got 20-25 more to go...but it will come off...just gotta be patient..my body is at that weight that it normally "settles"...now I got to start moving more..and be consistant with it..in order for it to GET GOING and the rest of this weight to come off!!
we WILL get to that POT OF GOLD at the end of our RAINBOWS Ladies...WE WILL...
Carrie...MEN will be FALLING off those bar stools when they see you coming!! lol!! your beautiful NOW...when you get to your goal weight...they will be lining up for autographs!!

HAPPY SHAKIN my forever pals...
Tami

[Carrie]

Thanks Guys!

It's so exciting, I'm still riding high.

This morning was great - I couldn't find anything to wear that didn't look HUGELY BAGGY (to bring back Mike's phrase). I'm going to have to go thrift store shopping and pick up a few get-me-through-this size outfits. Definitely NOT complaining!

When you start out as heavy as I did it takes a lot of pounds to really finally make a noticeable difference. I remember that my first 17 pounds of weight loss only took 1/2 inch off my hips - when I saw that I thought 'Man, that's a crock'. But now every few pounds makes a bigger and bigger inch loss, which really rocks. And seeing myself every day - I don't see it like people that haven't seen me in awhile.

I guess I'm just like a newly converted religious nut. Not for nothin' but those first 3 1/2 months had some pretty rough stretches in them and I wasn't seeing any major benefits, despite the scale dropping. Somehow that doesn't seem to register as much in my brain as seeing my clothes be baggy on me. And it does take an emotional toll, working so hard at changing these ingrained behaviors. But now that I can see the benefit, and have felt the absolute joy of my accomplishment, I want to shout it from the rooftops and grab everybody out there who's thinking about cheating and yell 'Stop! Nothing you could eat or drink is worth this feeling I have!'

Landy, I loved your porch story. I was actually hesitant about sharing the barstool story cause it isn't exactly a ladylike way to sit, but I guess I never claimed to be a lady, LOL! And you're right, these little gifts are EVERYTHING! I notice that my seat belt buckle isn't digging into my hip anymore, I'm not stuffed into those resin chairs, things like that. I can not wait until I can cross my legs again, I haven't been able to do that in YEARS.

You know what I really wish? I wish we could have a Medifast 'reunion'. We could serve a cake made out of MF bars, LOL. But it would just be so cool to get together with all of you guys - and celebrate as a group the accomplishment we have helped each other make. It'd be a DOOZY of a party, hey maybe we could get Mike to pop out of one of those big fake cake things.

We all deserve this. And we should all be very proud of ourselves for what we're doing.

Carrie

[RavenKat]

It'd be a DOOZY of a party, hey maybe we could get Mike to pop out of one of those big fake cake things.

Carrie

Mike and his G-shock.


I am so happy for you! Myself, I just noticed the seat belt not gouging me the other day!

I'm up for a party.

Kat

[Landylue]

Aw, man! Mike in a leopard-skin print Speedo covered with icing. I'd drive a few miles to see that, I suppose. . .

I'm also up for a BYOB (bring your own blender) reunion. The geographical middle of the U.S. is somewhere in Kansas I think.

I've also noticed the difference with the seat belts, both in a car and on a plane. I no longer 'hang over' into my neighbor's seat on a plane, and there are no longer any pained expressions of "Oh, no!" when I stop in the aisle and turn toward my seat. I actually had a woman on the plane attempt to stop me from sitting down as she pointed out another empty seat several rows on further back. How humiliating! Additionally, my husband doesn't have to reach over and help me buckle that seat belt in the car. And, I now not only can cross my legs, the crossed leg hangs straight down! I can even easily wrap the crossed leg BEHIND the other one, also! Has anyone else noticed that we can walk through a crowded clothes section in a department store and not knock items off the racks.

Life is good!!!

This is fun. What else have you guys noticed?

Landylue

[Carrie]

ohhhhhhhhhh, the leg wrap thing. Landy, my HERO!!!!!!

[explorthis]

Funny thing, that "leg wrap" I (typical man) cross(ed) my legs on a regular basis. Growing up, you (again a man thing) learned the difference in leg crossing: 1) the girls way – leg wrap, and 2) the guys way – almost a triangle formation. Being a guy, you would NEVER cross your legs in the girls way, lest you were not a “real man” (avoiding use of wrong words here) and if you did, you faced laughter and ridicule from the childhood peer group. Mike never had this problem, as he was always the fat boy (and had enough ridiculing already) All of a sudden, 42 years later, I (that’s Mike) have discovered the “leg wrap” How convenient that God created our limbs to sit like this for comfort. Man’s way? Woman’s way? I like the comfort way.

Last night, took Alix to the Dentist for the bi-annual cleaning/exam (we call it Mr. Slurpy in our house) sat the entire time in the waiting room engrossed in the latest Readers Digest, in the LEG WRAP! I sit in the leg wrap, COMFORTABLY and love it.

Thought I would pass on that bit of trivia…

-Mike

[Landylue]

I've seen male models in GQ sit with their legs crossed, Mike. But the position we are referring to is when the leg is hanging straight down, you then take the toes of the hanging foot and wrap them back behind the ankle of the leg on the floor. Your legs are basically braided around each other like a crueller. You really don't sit that way for long, but it feels so darned good just to be able to do it!

I also still have traces of the old habit of avoiding mirrors, Tami. Yesterday was my first day back to the gym in years. I had bought my very first pair of black capri stretch pants with red stripes going down the outside of the legs at Wal-Mart. They had a small Pooh Bear on one hip, and the word S W E E T in big pink letters across the backside. I, of course, bought a long red T-Shirt to wear with the pants to completely cover up Pooh and the word S W E E T. I felt soooo self-conscience walking out of the dressing room and over to the tread mill. Only after I had been walking for a few minutes did I allow myself to look up and take a quick peek ahead at the mirrored wall. DANG! I didn't look fat at all! AT ALL!!! In fact, I thought I looked pretty darn good! I could even see my collar bone! Oh, yeah!!!

You know, it just doesn't take much to please me these days. The ability to cross my legs and see a bone sticking out and it's a good day.

Landylue

[TamiL]

Landy
I went out and bought low cut shirts...just to SHOW OFF MY COLLAR BONES!! lol!! that is something I think we all have forgotten we have...and how nice it is to SHOW THEM OFF!! lol!! especially with a nice glowing TAN!! lol!! its weird ...the little things that shine thru after weight loss...the little things you forgot you had...were always there but covered up by a few extra layers!!
SO PROUD OF YOU...your doing great!!
I havent been on the forum much...but Im slowly getting my priorities in line again...I lost track a while...but making my way back to the train to thinville and to that pot of gold waiting for me at the end of my rainbow!!
I had to adjust my weight again....with a new start date...but I WONT GIVE UP ON THIS....I WILL REACH MY GOAL weight....I WONT GIVE UP!!
if you see Guiedo...tell him I Need a visit!!

Tami