The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[LongWay2go]

Friends,

I've talked to LW and Mikey about this already, but this forum is here to support us in our victories AND our failures, and to be honest with all of you, I must post my failures too. I am NOT Super Spidey!

I got a call on Monday, actually a phone message (as I was out to the dentist) that one of my brothers has terminal cancer. Unfortunately I could not return his call as he calls from a pay phone since he does not have a phone at home. My way of dealing with that emotional crisis was to order a pizza.

Pizza arrived - I ate two slices - it made me sick. The rest went in the garbage. I spent the next several days kicking myself in the b*tt and was sick from the grease well into the next day. Now 4 days later, I'm glad it happened. It made me strengthen my resolve to stay on my program and it made me even more resolved to help others not make the mistakes I've made.

I did a bad thing, but turned it around into a very good thing. That's what this is all about. Everyone slips. Everyone has failures. Success is learning from our slips and falls and becoming stronger for them. I could not, in good conscience, not mention this in the forum because embarrassing as it is to slip, we're all in this together and need to be honest with ourselves and our support friends!

Please note that this is my birthday weekend fling with my sister and I will not be around for a few days. Nor will I be here to participate in the Sunday weigh-in, but I will be weighing on Sunday and I will post my results on Tuesday when I return.

-Spidey

[DutchChoc]

Sorry about your brother's bad news and situation, Spidey, most of all. Some things hurt badly, and that must rank among the most painful revelations you could've received. Take care of yourself, enjoy your birthday and your weekend, and don't give into any disappointments. You're still in the process of saving yourself, and that's important work. I can speak for many unspeaking people, including lurkers, with confidence that we care about you more than we care about upholding an idea of perfection "about" you. It happens to us all, and, though dreaded, there's always the present moment to grab hold and turn away from that for-now-bad-stuff.

Will be looking forward to your return Tuesday.

[Simmshe]

Gerald,

I'm so sorry to hear of your brother's illness--this is, indeed, devastating news. Tragic things that happen like this in our lives often leads even the strongest person to seek comfort in ways that may not be healthy--such as eating or drinking.

And yep, you are definitely not Super Spidey! You're human just like the rest of us, which means perfection does not exist. At least you didn't let your old habit go further--you could have EASILY eaten the whole pizza, but you didn't. And to put a positive spin on it, this is a victory . It would be great if our brains could just change overnight, resulting in changing our behaviors overnight, but of course this doesn't happen. We are in our infancy stage of retraining our brains and dealing with life, minus food and eating for comfort. This will take time--some behaviors are hard wired in our brains--hence your response to hearing bad news and ordering a pizza, in which you probably just made that decision unconsciously before your conscious self had a fighting chance to say "hey, what are you doing???"

Anyways Gerald, I hope you have gotten past the chastizing/beating stage. You are a work in progress--we all are. And remember that ALL people, at some point, eat for nonphysical reasons. Overweight people aren't the only comfort eaters--most people are comfort eaters at periodically--we all have this wiring and capacity. It seems to be an almost innate human response. So even when you are slim, expect that you will eat from time to time for nonphysical reasons--and this is normal. The eating response is triggered by the brain when we are feeling sadness or anxiety--food is soothing, especially carbs--and our brains know this and starts shooting "eat" signals to raise our serotonin levels (the feel good neurotransmitter).

Okay, okay, here I go getting into the biology thing . Just wanted to say that our food response/prompts are complicated and for you not to chalk your slip up to you just not being strong enough or something. ENJOY your birthday and time spent with your family ! The rest of us fallible humans will be here waiting to hear how great your weekend was !

Sheryl

[Jeanette]

Gerald: So sorry to hear about your brother....my thoughts are with you both.

I think your attitude toward your slip is a good one. EVERYONE....I mean EVERYONE....has slipped with Medifast AT LEAST ONCE!!! You are so right-- Failures are how we learn.

Have a great birthday weekend!

[RavenKat]

Thanks for the honesty Gerald. Both about the slip and your brother. Sorry he's so sick.

Sometimes a slip like that helps because now you know that the pizza fantasy that will pop into your head in the future is just that - a fantasy! Half-naked ladies swirling around with pizza slices in their hands, feeding you the nectar of the gods is, in actuality, a greasy piece of junk that proceeded to make you sick after you ate it. ("Your actual fantasy may differ" )

So you're a little more Peter Parker than you expected...that's normal.

Kat

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Dear Gerald,

I wish there were something we could do to lessen your burden. I've been there with my only sibling dying of self-inflicted gunshot, Mom passing with terminal brain cancer, and Dad with prostate cancer. With each tragedy, I ate to console myself. I thought at least I wasn't drinking to numb the pain. It's the worst feeling to watch someone leaving you, and there's nothing you can do for them to ease the pain. As they leave they take a piece of your heart with them, and it feels like it's been ripped away leaving a huge empty space that takes a long time to heal. Everyone does a number of different things to deal with that hurt. It's a very tough road. Know that we are here for you, and with all that's going on try to take good care of yourself.

Including your family in my prayers,
Your MF Pal,
Camille

[LongWay2go]

Thank you all, if only you knew just how important all of you are to me! Camille, my God, you must have the strength of Atlas! As the oldest of 13, I'm so grateful that we have not lost one yet through the years. It was bad enough to lose both parents in their 50's, and in the same year! I can't imagine what you have had to go through, but bless you for it, and for thinking of me too!

-Gerald

[Jeanette]

Oldest of 13??? My goodness! What a blessing to have such a HUGE family for support! I bet waiting for the bathroom was tough, wasn't it??

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Gerald,

The strength of Atlas? No, that would be your MOTHER! Thirteen children????!!!!!! She has my utmost respect and admiration, and deserves a medal! Besides gaining weight at each family death, (they were all 10 years apart BTW), I did gain fortitude and respect for the precious gift of life. I try to live well on their behalf. Being the oldest, you'll be the one all your siblings look to for strength in this. I know you're as strong as you are generous Gerald. Bless you all.

Camille

[elle4nelly]

Gerald...just forget about it and move on.
Try not to " ooops" too much. It gets harder and harder to stop after a while. Dieting is a tough business. We have to battle not just the Fat on our bodies...but often we have to battle the mind.
It's often ridiculous! I play mind games with myself and impose rules. Right now I'm in a no ooops mode, I'm too much in a hurry to get to a goal of 199lbs or less. But I've set a sort of punishment system for myself. If ever...ever... I cheat..I have to put in a 2nd gym workout that very day. 45 minutes on the Eliptical machine rain or shine, tired or not.

I LOVE working out which I do 6 days a week. BUT a second workout for me would be a real punishment. AND I would cancel any evening engagement and take my sorry Butt to the gym.

Yesterday...I walked into the Office Kitchen...and there was cake...people always bring stuff ...I swear this office eats all the time!! But anyway...I remember thinking....hum..maybe a crumb?...and immediately, I was like...NO way! I've already put out 45 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of intense weight training...I AM NOT going to punish myself. I left that kitchen never touching that cake. I know it sounds silly...but I have to have a punishment in place that motivates me not to commit an offense. If I was an avid movie goer for example who goes to the movie every weekend...I'd not go to the movie the week that I messed up. ....I guess I'm still a kid inside...I need my toys taken away or something that would make me feel like being straight for a while.

Anyway..Gerald....Dust yourself up...And DO your best not to fall off ....