The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Carrie]

Last Saturday I moved into a cute lil 3rd floor bachelorette pad. I've done more flights of stairs in the last 6 days than I have in the last year. All of a sudden a priority in my life is minimizing what I bring home because then it has to be hauled up the stairs. No more buying water at the store for me, I have one of those faucet filters now.

But some things can't be avoided. I went out for groceries last night (or what passes for groceries in a MF life, you know ..... boullion, pickles, cat food and cat litter, LOL). I bought an 18 pound bag of cat food and a 20 pound bag of cat litter. I had to make 2 trips up the stairs and I was HUFFING the whole way.

Then it hit me.

I've lost 34 pounds. Short of a couple pounds ..... 2 months ago, I would've been carrying those bags of cat stuff up those stairs ON MY BODY. I've lost almost that much. How did I ever do it? And I still have a long way to go. I am still carrying about 4-5 extra bags worth around! Hefting those bags gave me a moment of clarity. I have subjected my body to hauling all these pounds around. My heart having to work harder, increased pressure on my joints, etc. It's easy to be in denial about a weight problem. I know for years I have said to myself 'it's not that bad', I have put loose tent-like clothing on and covered it up, I have said 'I carry my weight well', I purchased size 3X and 26W and somehow didn't really realize that THAT WAS MY SIZE. Well, it is that bad, and I don't carry it well. And I have been in denial about it.

I caught myself really patting myself on the back lately. I've made it to 30 pounds, my clothes are pretty darn baggy, people have FINALLY started commenting. I was really getting full of myself. And that's dangerous, because becoming complacent or telling myself 'it's not that bad anymore' is the first step down the slippery slope to bingeing for me. I had a wake up call last night when I was changing clothes. I caught myself in the mirror and was actually shocked that *I* could still have so much fat after losing 30 pounds. I guess I was expecting to see someone a whole lot smaller. Denial again.

Denial sneaks into my life in many ways that I never noticed till now. Of course in the grocery store ............. it's there telling me 'one candy bar, or package of brownies won't hurt and I've been So GOOD for So LONG, I deserve a treat'. Well, it will hurt.

Denial tells me that 30 pounds is such a big accomplishment that maybe I should treat myself to Sunday brunch. Denial tells me that after 30 pounds of weight loss, I actually expected to look in the mirror and SEE 100 pounds of weight loss.

I'm not saying I shouldn't feel good about how far I have come. What I am saying is that this is NO TIME to become complacent and let denial talk me into sabotaging myself. It means staying the course and not letting old habits reassert themselves just because I've made some progress. I am not there yet, and I must remain vigilant about what goes through my head and what goes into my mouth.

I've come too far to blow it now!

Carrie

[Starloser63]

Carrie,

Yet again great post! You are so right! I have been doing this to myself since Jan. I am not doing it any longer. I have stopped letting food control me and it is making a difference. I'm not saying I don't still, out of habit, go to the kitchen and look at whats out there. I just have been better and saying, it will still be there if I really want it in October or whenever.

I have lost 30 pounds and someone asked me if I could see a difference, actually not really, I guess it's not enough for my mind yet. But my hubby sees a difference and he tells me without me asking!

I have played around long enough and I have finally gotten serious about losing the weight and changing my life style. I think the changing my life style thing just finally sunk in that's why I played around so long. I didn't want to admit to myself, that I wouldn't be able to continue on in my old eating habits! Even after I reached my goal. Sobering thought that is. But I am happy to say I have accepted that and am in the process of teaching myself better things.

Sorry to go on and on, but this has been a long time coming for me!

Hugs,
Susan F

[TamiL]

Carrie
I can RELATE to everything you just wrote!! gosh I could write a book back to ya about it..but IM short on time.
All I can say is that we look at ourselves now..and expect to see ourselves THIN..because in our minds..we are feeling thinner..and yes our clothes are baggy...
what you DONT see is what you were 30 pounds ago....cuz if your anything like me..you DIDNT look closley enuf back then!! I avoided looking..untill now...and now that we are looking...we are seeing what we STILL have to loose, instead of focusing on what we have done so far..and what we must do to change our bodies!!
I know that I still have 20 pounds to loose...and even when I get to that weight...then its time to RESHAPE myself...and the only way you can do that is by working out with weights..and doing cardio....
so my friend...keep climbing those stairs..carrying those BAGS of Cat littler and food up those stairs..and just remember that every step you are taking..is a step closer to firmer legs...more muscle and closer to glancing in the mirror soon enuf and really seeing the accomplishments we have made!!
hang in there....dont sabotage....weve come this far....no turning back Carrie...

Tami

[explorthis]

…lost 30… someone asked me if I could see a difference, actually not really …hubby sees a difference and he tells me without me asking

Susan…. This happens, and will happen to most of you. You see yourself daily. Tell me, anyone of you aren’t sneaking a glimpse after visiting the ladies room, 20 times a day. The change is so gradual, you see yourselves so often, and you just don’t see the change like the view from someone else’s eyes. I lost well over 100#, yes the pictures show it, I still amaze myself by looking at before and after. But…… everyday that passed I noticed virtually nothing. I know it was happening; I was not eating Peanut Butter. (lol) The scale was finally not hiding from me, clothing was not fitting, but I was not noticing the change from my eyes. Don’t let this small insignificant oversight allow you a moment of weakness. You are losing.

-Mike

P.S. TTD-KLC: (Kitty-Litter-Chick), wonderful post by the way!

[Landylue]

What awesome, honest, inspiring posts! I am very proud of each one of you.

By the time I hit goal, I'll have lost a total of 142 lbs (73 of it on Medifast) over a period of two years. That's more than most of you will weigh when you finish this program. Hummm...using Carrie's measuring system, that's over seven 20 lb bags of cat litter! I can't imagine how much I've shortened my life by making my poor heart beat for two people instead of just one. If I put on a lead-lined coat weighing 142 lbs, I can't imagine even being able to walk more than a few steps. Insanity!!!

Hey, guys, let's don't EVER go there again.

Like Carrie said, stay the course.

Landylue

[elle4nelly]

I feel you Carie!!!

I used to reward my diet effort with food in the past!! Not anymore!!!!!!!!!!!
Those were my denial days.
Now I just reward myself with things I really like. I'll buy some Vic Secret stuff That I really really want for example. Leave it all in the bag and each week I've been good I earn the right to retrieve one item from the bag. I do the same with CD's and books. I know it sounds stupid, but somehow...I'm conditioning my mind to feel rewarded for the weight loss by means that do not include food anymore!!!!
Anyway..good post as always!

Nelly

[shineface]

Carrie -

Thanks for starting this great thread! I know exactly what you mean. The other day I was hauling a 5lbs bag of flour out of the cabinet and suddenly realized that if I hung 13 of these offa my body -- that's where I started - unbelievable... I try everyday to stay humble in my program only because I am so scared to death of going off and never being able to get it back together. I really don't know if I personnally have another "start" left in me - and that is what keeps me true - that and my support from all of you and the wonderful results not only in look but health!!!!

GOD DO I FEEL BETTER!!!!

Everything on this thread added more to my mind, heart and soul and provided my morning snack - food for thought!!!

WE WILL do this together!!!