The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[RavenKat]

and I don't mean the weight.

I jumped off the train and am watching it rumble away. I ate so much last night I almost had a panic attack.

I believe my first mistake was buying OTC appetite suppressants as a way to overcome my waning drive to be perfect on the plan. These pills must have a form of sugar in them because for the three days I took them, my stomach growled constantly. I actually woke up at night to that sound. I would have chucked the bottle sooner if I had figured it out. I thought it might have been my body fighting a plateau or the crystal lite or the freakin' moon! Either way, I "planned" (put in 'schemed') ALL day for this orgy of mythic proportions. I even called a neighbor over to join in the debauchery.

I have a list of excuses - stressors that I'm under - but no one wants to hear that...ESPECIALLY me. Nor is my intention to elicit sympathy. I just had to confess it and look at it in the harsh light of day.

I will not be a member of this community that slowly fades away and never comes back. I will not gain my weight back. I will not give up.

Although I am not religious in any way but I am going to use the word "sin". My sin is PRIDE. Yes, I've lost 48 pounds. Yes, I'm in a 16. I AM RESTING ON MY LAURELS.

I have no solution I just wanted to get it out. I'll be back with more when I can think straight.

Thanks....
Kat

[Carrie]

Kat honey...... one bad day does not a failure make. Please, PLEASE stop beating yourself up RIGHT NOW.

This is just a small speed bump on your weight loss success road.

You are human. You are imperfect. Sure, it would have been better if you hadn't done the mondo-binge. But you did. You made a bad choice. That time has passed. Let go of it. Today is a new day. Get right back to your plan. Do not berate yourself and tear yourself down. Be positive, be gentle.

Try and reconcile why you are resisting going further with your weight loss. Is it self-inflicted resistance to breaking through that 200 mark? Is it boredom, stress, whatever? Try and figure out what's going on in your head. And then reason with it.

What do you really want in your heart of hearts? What is in your best interest? Journal this out if you have to, but please stop the blaming and recrimination and start afresh. Positive attitude is half the battle here.

No biggie, get up and keep going,
Carrie

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Kat,

I agree with Carrie. You're only human. AND, you DO have the right attitude. The train is NOT speeding away. It's ready to stop whenever you're ready to get back on. Please don't go away. I really enjoy your posts and appreciate that you are human too. Come on when you're ready, and let's ride!

Camille

[justme]

Kat.

Was it Trim Spa that you took??? I took that the other day and I was sooo hungry I wonder what they put in those things that would my my tummy do that?

Carli

[Simmshe]

Ditto to what Carrie and Camille said. It's so easy for us to slip up as we make this huge life change of losing weight. We are not only losing physical weight, but emotional weight, too--and the emotional weight is often harder to lose than the physical weight. It would be great if this journey was sequential, with no ups and down, but more often than not--it isn't. And, as many of us know here, losing weight and sticking to our plans is complicated ten-fold by our issues with food.

As you get into the process of evaluating what "went wrong," just try not to beat yourself. Once you gave into your cravings, your brain took over. Once sugar and carbs are reintroduced into our systems again after a break, the brain goes overboard with the cravings--this is when we feel like addicts (as least I do!)--devouring food with abandon to the point of not even tasting it anymore. And, perhaps the use of the appetite suppressants isn't necessarily what prompted the surge in appetite, it might have been stress and your reaction, or nonreaction to it? Stress (anxiety, depression, etc.) is a HUGE trigger for me. Since I was 14 years old, my modus operandi has been automatically eating when I felt emotionally overwhelmed (major emotional, and some physical, trauma involved here). And once I chose this method of coping, my brain picked it up quickly, and whenever I experience similar emotions, the cravings kick in because my brain automatically picked up that food would soothe me. And I never developed a new, healthy way of dealing with these emotions, and my brain already knew what would make me feel better--eating.

Anyways, (sorry to be so long-winded here !) don't underestimate stress and feel like you are making excuses. Stress, how we deal with it, is valid, and crippling for some of us. Give yourself a break and realize that you haven't figured some things out yet--it's okay. Try to learn something from this blip--failure and falling down is a great teacher. We always come back a little stronger and wiser than we were before.

And no sympathy here--only empathy .

Sheryl

[RavenKat]

I can only partially read your responses - I'm crying too hard. :-) Let's hope no one comes into my office!

I'm really not used to such unconditional support. Of course, I hardly ever let myself get this honest with people.

I WILL be reading them and responding, as well as Carrie's other thread but I am just too emotional right now. But first: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Kat

p.s. I assume Trim Spa is basically the same thing I took. Mine was a generic version of "Xenadrine EFX". Whoo hoo - paid $20 less to have increasing hunger pangs.

[Jeanette]

Kat:

Regarding "resting on your laurels" : I think this was part of my problem too. I had went from a 32 to a 22 and thought I was all that and that my poo poo smelled like roses. So....I relaxed a bit too much, and regained 22 lbs.

The moral of the story: ALWAYS be on guard!!

[Lois]

Hi Kat,

Your honesty and determination is an INSPIRATION!

My counselor, Lana, says we are only as sick as our secrets!

We are all here for you, and know that you are gonna reach your goal for sure....

hugs,

Lois

[RavenKat]

Okay everybody - I survived!!!

I spent three days eating and crying but I lived thorugh it.

At 41 I think I might need to incorporate some of those Women's Health shakes....I really felt like I was losing it there for a while.

1. You all are the best group of people ever. I truly believe your support is the difference between my other attempts and this one. Usually a fiasco like the one I just survived would signal a year long pity party that ends with weight gain and another diet.

2. People can s*ck. My office mate saw me eating something on Friday and said, "Yay! You're eating something!" If I had been a junkie and she caught me shooting up, would she have said, "Yay!". I think not. I told her to not get used to it, that I was getting back into medifast on Saturday to finish up my goal. That shut her up.

3. I had a dream last night that I weighed myself and I had gained all my weight back. That feeling stayed with me when I woke up and has given me some extra gumption.

4. The first thing I saw on tv this a.m. was the Al Roker story on Discovery. I remember how mad I was when he got that operation because I felt like he was cheating. (Jealousy and self-disgust can make you act like you don't want to act.) He actually said that he was embarrassed that he had to resort to surgery - that statement made me feel for him. But it also made me feel very proud of myself. I am doing this myself! It's hard but I am doing it!

5. Today was a "modified" fast because I have some adult beverages that I am looking forward to consuming this evening. But, tomorrow I wil weigh in, post my new and higher weight and start again.

DO OVER here I come!!!!

Kat

[Simmshe]

Glad you made your way back so quickly Kat ! Three to five days seems to be my bottoming out period before I rebound, too (although, I have bottomed out for years at a time before!).

Also, about Al Roker, I read an article in a magazine, talking about how both he and Carnie Wilson have regained some of their weight. I saw the pictures and they certainly have each re-gained a good 30lbs. Upwards of 15% of people who have some form of bariatric surgery regain their weight back! And then there are the people who have permanent gastro/digestive problems that they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. I figured that I would be in the 15% to regain my weight back because I would not have effectively dealt with reasons behind my emotional, over/compulsive eating. I'm still at risk, as we all are, to regain the weight loss on Medifast, too. But working on the emotional/mental and behavioral aspects while we are working on the physical side will ensure our success.

I think we are, all of us Medifasters, on the right path, and didn't even have to permanently disturb our digestive systems !

Sheryl