Karakuri

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today is an "i hate being female" day

Postby Karakuri » July 8th, 2006, 10:00 pm

***this post might be TMI for some people***

i <snip>language - Mr. Snippy</snip> hate today. granted that it did sorta start off alright, but FOR THE LOVE OF <snip>language - Mr. Snippy</snip> am i an unhappy camper.

i hate my periods. HATE them so much! i'm always left feeling achey, crampy, sneezy... it's a cross between a headcold and the flu. IT. IS. NOT. FUN!

on top of this is that it also triggers my *drumroll* FLARE-UPS! yep... i hurt from head to toe and want to cry.... oh i failed to mention my depression is on red alert. so i get to hurt all over and feel like dying... wow...

oh yes... i also constantly keep twisting my ankle. i keep screwing up my writs and elbows... hahah.. it's almost funny. i feel like a frail old lady and i'm not even close to being that old.

whoever signed me up for the "needs to be given a ton of useless health problems" please stand-up so i can kick you squarly in the junk!

i do not want my stinkin' allergies.
i do not want my frustrating FMS.
i do not want my horrible periods.
i do not want my severe, annoying, won't leave me the hell alone depression.
and i do not want all this excess fat on my body!

i know i'm missing some, but i just don't have the energy to go into even more detail.

SO... with all the crap my body is putting me through. i find myself wanting to eat a heck of a lot more than i need too. i've done the lamest cheat. i had an extra MF snack tonight. yep, that's it... and i want to keep eating more. i want to eat large bowls of oatmeal. it's my comfort food... i want to snack and pigout. i want to give-in to the urges that plague me at my low points.

i am going to refrain from weighing myself this week. i figure i'm gonna have a weird reading while on my period. so why put myself through the stress of maybe gaining more weight.

BLARGH! i'm giving the finger to my stupid body. and now i'm going to try to sleep.
start date: June 12, 2006
start weight: 260
new start date: May 14, 2008
current weight: 260
goal weight: 160
height: 5'7"
back on medifast, again, and ready to kick it into gear!
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Karakuri
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Location: Ottawa, Canada

Postby Nova » July 9th, 2006, 7:39 am

Kara, you're doing so amazingly well. I'm so impressed with your attituted and your ability to stick to this through everything you're going through. I wish I could offer some good advice as to how to make things better, but I'm afraid all I can manage is a virtual hug and lots of well wishes. :hug:

Seems to me if your cheat was nothing more than an extra medifast snack, you're doing pretty well. I used to snack between meals constantly, and that's been a huge adjustment for me to make. Like you, I'd eat a healthy main meal, then sneak/snack cheese and chips and cookies. It's been hard to stop doing that, although not having them in the house certainly helps. If oatmeal is your comfort food, can you eat the medifast oatmeal 3-4 times a day? I've been going to town on the chocolate pudding, and it really helps me when I'm feeling down.
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Would you rather eat what you want, or wear what you want?
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Postby Allison Onederland » July 9th, 2006, 9:46 am

Kara, I am so sorry you are feeling horrible today. Your post brought back memories of the time before I had a hysterectomy. :cry: Everyone I knew got a little bloated and uncomfortable once a month...I felt like I was dying. Seriously! There is just no way to describe the pain to someone who has never felt it.

It sounds like you are doing pretty good so far at resisting the comfort foods. I know how difficult it is. The lightbulb moment for me came when I decided one day that even though my body had betrayed me, my brain was gonna be in charge. I still have times when I get angry about it but for the most part, I just stay calm and try to figure out ways to "outsmart" my body. :lol: No matter how bad I feel, I'm not gonna let the fibro monster make all my decisions. I choose what goes into my mouth at mealtimes. I tell my body NO when it starts screaming for the sugar, salt and carbs. I made the decision to go on medifast and by gosh I'm sticking to it no matter what. Our long term health is so much more important than satisfying those brief moments of happiness when we indulge in those comfort foods that are so bad for us. Hang in there Kara, those cravings will pass if you can just get in the right frame of mind.

You asked in an earlier post what MSM was. MSM is short for Methylsulphonylmethane. Sooo...straight from the lable on the bottle...
"MSM is a natural form of organic sulfur found in all living organisms. This natural compound, researched since 1979, provides the chemical links needed to form and maintain numerous different types of tissues found in the human body. Incluing connective tissue such as cartilage."

When I'm more awake later today I'll get out all my supplements and make a list for you. I cannot tell you how much they help! I'm not sure if I should post them here, in case it might help someone else, or send it to you in a private message. :scratchhead: Making these earth shattering decisions before noon really wears me out! :lol:
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Postby Karakuri » July 9th, 2006, 3:36 pm

bah... i thought i could say what i want/feel in my journal part, but i guess that's a no go.

i might just stop posting here then. i'll stick to LJ for it. might be a better route to take.
start date: June 12, 2006
start weight: 260
new start date: May 14, 2008
current weight: 260
goal weight: 160
height: 5'7"
back on medifast, again, and ready to kick it into gear!
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Karakuri
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Joined: June 12th, 2006, 9:56 pm
Location: Ottawa, Canada

back and ready to go!

Postby Karakuri » June 12th, 2007, 3:20 pm

so... i had initially lost 40 lbs, but ended up rather ill in October 2006. i had to come off the diet while i was in the hospital. after that i wasn't able to go back on the diet due to getting better.

so here i am, around the same time as i started Medifast LAST year, and i'm trying to kick my arse back into gear.

i HAD been trying to do the diet again, but i've been cheating here and there. i am not proud of this. thus i had gained back about 20 lbs.

thankfully, i've been "stable" at 240 lbs for months now. very glad i didn't go shooting back up to 260 lbs. ick.

it's still tough to do. i was hoping it'd be easier this time around. HA! serves me right for getting all depressed and eating cookies and chips. silly girl, that i am.

anyway, wish me luck! here's to day 3 back on MF. i cross my fingers that i stick it out and get to my goal weight in, at the latest, a years time.
start date: June 12, 2006
start weight: 260
new start date: May 14, 2008
current weight: 260
goal weight: 160
height: 5'7"
back on medifast, again, and ready to kick it into gear!
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Karakuri
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Joined: June 12th, 2006, 9:56 pm
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Postby bikipatra » June 12th, 2007, 3:53 pm

Welcome back!
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
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Postby Karakuri » June 12th, 2007, 3:57 pm

bikipatra wrote:Welcome back!


thank you! it's nice to be back and back into the MF swing of things. i was so happy when i'd gone down 40 lbs that i can't wait to feel that lightness again. :)
start date: June 12, 2006
start weight: 260
new start date: May 14, 2008
current weight: 260
goal weight: 160
height: 5'7"
back on medifast, again, and ready to kick it into gear!
Image
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Karakuri
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Posts: 98
Joined: June 12th, 2006, 9:56 pm
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Postby pinkbugs471 » June 12th, 2007, 4:12 pm

welcome back :D
Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire

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Postby Karakuri » June 12th, 2007, 4:15 pm

pinkbugs471 wrote:welcome back :D


thank you muchly! i am very glad to be back. :)
start date: June 12, 2006
start weight: 260
new start date: May 14, 2008
current weight: 260
goal weight: 160
height: 5'7"
back on medifast, again, and ready to kick it into gear!
Image
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Karakuri
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Posts: 98
Joined: June 12th, 2006, 9:56 pm
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Postby Lizabette » June 13th, 2007, 2:16 pm

WELCOME BACK, KARA!
I'll be cheering for ya! :cheerleader:
Lizabette :heart:
195/135 - Reached goal, Aug. 31, '06
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Postby MerryMary » June 13th, 2007, 3:01 pm

<img src="http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w153/maizak/Welcome252520Back2525204.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">
MARY
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Started MF 11/6/06; reached goal 9/27/07.
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Postby Karakuri » June 13th, 2007, 5:20 pm

thanks again all! i really appreciate the welcome back. ^_^
start date: June 12, 2006
start weight: 260
new start date: May 14, 2008
current weight: 260
goal weight: 160
height: 5'7"
back on medifast, again, and ready to kick it into gear!
Image
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Karakuri
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Posts: 98
Joined: June 12th, 2006, 9:56 pm
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Day 4!!

Postby Karakuri » June 13th, 2007, 5:21 pm

well, seems to be getting a bit easier and i've only been back on it for the past 3 (nearly 4) days.

i don't seem to be in constant hunger. perhaps this is also in part to change of medication. but that's completely unrelated to the diet...

SO...

i'm trying to find decent recipes that use ground turkey. it's very frustating since i am limited to what i can and cannot eat. tried a bunch of different ideas, but nothing that really holds the flavour in the turkey. very annoying. time to hunt down some new condiments to add "life" to the lifeless turkey.
start date: June 12, 2006
start weight: 260
new start date: May 14, 2008
current weight: 260
goal weight: 160
height: 5'7"
back on medifast, again, and ready to kick it into gear!
Image
User avatar
Karakuri
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Posts: 98
Joined: June 12th, 2006, 9:56 pm
Location: Ottawa, Canada

slow and steady...

Postby Karakuri » June 27th, 2007, 2:03 pm

it's been a bit rough this past month. i've only lost 4lbs, but that's my own fault of not keeping to the regime.

i was good for a week and then i went to a friends place (1 1/2 hours away) and was there for a good 12 hours. least to say i slipped right off the diet and ate crap i should've never even looked at. it was bad. i cheated bigtime. not a tiny taste of something... but a large, swallow of the whole farm (ok maybe not that bad, but feels like it).

this past week has been rough as well. a lot of my hunger is mental. i associate eating with happiness. when i'm sad and upset i'll eat bad foods because they make me feel good. until the next day when i weigh myself and see i've gained back the 4lbs i've lost.

a little OT here, but BLECH this water i'm drinking doesn't taste good. it's filtered, but still has a chemical taste. i need to figure out a way to make the water taste better without going overboard on things like Crystal Light. if anyone (that's if anyone else reads this) has suggestions, please feel free to share them!

crud... i had tons more i wanted to say, but now i've lost my concentration :P
start date: June 12, 2006
start weight: 260
new start date: May 14, 2008
current weight: 260
goal weight: 160
height: 5'7"
back on medifast, again, and ready to kick it into gear!
Image
User avatar
Karakuri
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Posts: 98
Joined: June 12th, 2006, 9:56 pm
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Postby Mike » June 27th, 2007, 3:45 pm

Good for you for keeping with it though. You know what you have to do, and just keep pluggin' along and you will get there. :mrgreen:
Pre WLS 460
Low after WLS 300
Start of MF 350
Previous MF low 280
Restart MF 330


I have to be careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business.
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