FutureEMT

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Postby JonnaD » March 20th, 2007, 7:09 pm

Britt,

It's good you're feeling well, physically. I hope you will soon feel better emotionally.

I'm glad you're not pinning your happiness on another person, because happiness really is a choice. We can enjoy another person's company or how they make us feel, but even if they wanted to, they don't have the power to make us happy.

Don't forget, we are here to help you make it. :hug:
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Postby FutureEMT » March 20th, 2007, 8:10 pm

Thanks! Yea, I definetely don't rely on others for my happiness, I used to and it was so terrible, I learned over time to be self reliant and it works a LOT better for me...lol How could it not?

Also, I hope I don't come off as a psycho or anything talking bout my possible mental disorders :shock: I'm pretty normal as normal goes...

I was wondering, just for my own curiosity....

Most of my mass(fat) is located on my belly and back, more on the belly...I've always read that it's hardest to get fat off your belly and thighs/butt....is MF the same way in that reguard? I mean does it make everything smaller and then attack the belly, or is it an all over thing? Hope that's not a stupid question...

I have a 130 maybe 140 pounds to lose, will I lose more quickly at first because of the excess fat?
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Postby JonnaD » March 20th, 2007, 8:50 pm

You'd fit right in with my family - sound perfectly normal to me :lol:
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Postby bikipatra » March 20th, 2007, 10:22 pm

FutureEMT wrote:Thanks! Yea, I definetely don't rely on others for my happiness, I used to and it was so terrible, I learned over time to be self reliant and it works a LOT better for me...lol How could it not?

Also, I hope I don't come off as a psycho or anything talking bout my possible mental disorders :shock: I'm pretty normal as normal goes...

I was wondering, just for my own curiosity....

Most of my mass(fat) is located on my belly and back, more on the belly...I've always read that it's hardest to get fat off your belly and thighs/butt....is MF the same way in that reguard? I mean does it make everything smaller and then attack the belly, or is it an all over thing? Hope that's not a stupid question...

I have a 130 maybe 140 pounds to lose, will I lose more quickly at first because of the excess fat?

I'm pretty psycho myself and even when people don't fully understand they have been as supportive as they can be. I have bipolar II with psychotic depression, a borderline personality order, self-injury disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, former (most of the time) eating disorder, a touch of OCD and am an alcoholic in recovery (most of the time.) In the beginning it took them a bit to get used to my mood swings but everyone has been so loving and friendly. So don't be afraid. If you look at my studio pics I have an apple shape, stick arms and legs and a big belly and bust. It seemed the bust was going faster than the belly but my pants size had gone from a 26 to an 16/18. When I take my measurementst I have lost exactly 7 inches off my chest and hips, how's that for symmetry? My waist/belly has been the smallest to go, only 5 inches, but I can tell! As for your last question, I believe many people with over 100 pounds to lose may lose more in the beginning but it is not certain. The only thing certain is that if you are compliant, 5-1-water, you WILL lose weight.
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Postby FutureEMT » March 21st, 2007, 1:04 am

wow, Biki, I hate to hear that...but it's nice to know I'm not alone...you know? Yea, I have an apple shape too...I plan on being completely compliant because I'm so ready to feel and look good it's not even funny!

I have the rare personality type (INFP) I'm still looking into it, but basically it means I'm incredibly sensitive, which led to a lot of heartache growing up as "the fat kid"...as one might imagine I took things even more personally and let other people's comments rule me for a long long time. I actually ended up dropping out of high school because I just couldn't stand the thought of walking down the hall another day. I got my GED though, and am about to enter college..so it's a day by day process, and with each passing day I get a little stronger and a little wiser, which I am thankful for.

I'm not as big as some might think, I'm big, but when people guess my weight, they usually say they think I honestly weight about 210...wrong, 280 here! Anyway, I have been blessed and cursed with a big bone structure and an apple shape. I am blessed because I have a lot of muscle and carry my weight well, cursed because I'm more at risk for disease.(bummer)

Well, I know I'm just another screenname on the net, but if you ever need an ear, I'm only a PM away...I'm pretty sure I can relate to most things except the alcohol and self harm thing( Iwatched my mom drink herself to death so I just can't bring myself to drink) Seriously, I'm just a PM away...

Thanks for listening :)
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Postby bikipatra » March 21st, 2007, 1:07 am

And thanks you for listening....
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Postby Pashta » March 21st, 2007, 8:37 am

Bipolar disorder is genetic, unfortunately. My ex-boyfriend, father of my first son, has it. His mother and aunt have it as well. The odds of getting it are 50/50 if one parent has it and the other does not, this I know. I'm watching my son to see if he shows signs of it, but he's too young yet to know for sure.

If it is, you really should get treatment. My ex never wanted treatment because the mania feels too good to him (never understands or cares that it hurts himself and others around him most of the time). He denies that he even has it, even though he was diagnosed by 3 different psychiatrists, one the main doctor in a huge clinic that specializes in psychiatry. Apparently that is common among those with the disorder, the denial. *sigh* :roll: That is why he is an ex.

Anyway, there's nothing to be ashamed of or worried about, it's just like any other illness - it can be treated. Remember it's not your fault, it's genetic. It can't be controlled, it's just a chemical imbalance.

Hope I helped you a little bit!

:hug:
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Postby bikipatra » March 21st, 2007, 8:40 am

The sad thing is the mania can feel pretty good, and better than feeling depressed or just flat like you do on some meds. It is so hard to find the right cocktail of meds that make you feel sane and not doped up or not yourself.
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Postby fairladyj » March 21st, 2007, 9:51 am

Wanted to respond 1st to your question about belly/thigh fat loss. I tend to be "block-shaped" - big boned, but not very tall - I blame my German ancestors. The sometimes good part is that I can carry more weight than most people my height and not look "fat" - the bad part is, I fooled myself into thinking I didn't look too bad at over 200 lbs and size 16. I am certainly no expert, but I am really impressed that today I got into size 12 pants for the 1st time in over 20 years. I know I weighed considerably less than now the last time I was in this size - so I know I have been losing in the belly/hip/thigh area (they don't call me thunder thighs for nothin')

On the mental health front, I am a mental health professional. Don't stigmatize yourself - there are lots of people living very successully with mental illness. The effective professionals believe strongly in recovery (much info on the web if you are interested).There is even (finally) legislation pending in congress to have mental health covered by insurers equally with physical health (there really is no difference - it's all physical health). The most important thing is to find a Dr who believes in recovery and who will partner with you on medication issues to find the right mix - as Biki said, it is seldom right with the first try.

Wishing you success in reaching your goal of becoming an EMT, and losing the weight - even though you are deserving of love and respect just as you are!
Jennifer in Michigan

If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
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thanks

Postby FutureEMT » March 21st, 2007, 3:38 pm

Thanks everybody for the replies.

Sometimes I feel like I could climb mountains, can't go to sleep, have tons of creativity and ideas, and just generally feel great. It comes without warning and a lot of times without reason. Is that mania?

My mom had it, my dad does not.

My experience with the Dr.'s here is that they didn't want to listen to me. They took about 15 minutes with me, put me on zoloft and saw me for about 15 minutes every two months. They're main reason for zoloft was because it had an appetite supressant in it...or so they said...

I found it incredibly frustrating all together. I felt like I wasn't being listened to, and I wasn't.

I need someone who will listen and diagnose me properly....

Fairlady, do yuo have any tips for overcoming social anxiety. It literally take weeks for me to finally relax around someone new, and sometimes, people won't wait long enough for me to relaz and be myself...any help on that? I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks guys
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Re: thanks

Postby bikipatra » March 21st, 2007, 6:02 pm

FutureEMT wrote:Thanks everybody for the replies.

Sometimes I feel like I could climb mountains, can't go to sleep, have tons of creativity and ideas, and just generally feel great. It comes without warning and a lot of times without reason. Is that mania?

My mom had it, my dad does not.

My experience with the Dr.'s here is that they didn't want to listen to me. They took about 15 minutes with me, put me on zoloft and saw me for about 15 minutes every two months. They're main reason for zoloft was because it had an appetite supressant in it...or so they said...

Thanks guys

The fact that they put you on Zoloft, and that alone, makes me think they didn't realize or diagnose your bipolar disorder. That is they way it was with me at first. Your desription does sound a lot like mania (I am not a doctor who can diagnose, Biki MD). Zoloft is an antidepressant. Zoloft or almost any antidepressant on it's own without a mood stabilizer can make manic symptoms worse, not better. I have no idea about your insurance or financial situation, but even county facilities run mental health clinics where you can be listened to. I would look high and low for a doctor, preferably a psychopharmacologist, who would do something besides just write me an Rx and not really listen. The right meds can also help you deal with social anxiety disorder. Before I went to see my next doctor I would have a WRITTEN laundry list of symptoms and ask them to be addressed. Find out which ones should be treated through therapy and which by medication or a combination thereof.
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Postby FutureEMT » March 22nd, 2007, 12:17 am

The list sounds like a great idea, infact as soon as I write this reply, I'm going to start it. I'm going to call our longest practicing, most respected, Psychiatrist around here. He's the best in Georgia supposedly and my friend who went to him said he talked to her for two hours and took very detailed notes. I basically live my life in constant fear or worry...sometimes it can get out of hand and become panic. I can function normally in day to day life, but sometimes my alone time can become more than I can bare. For example, going to sleep: I have a lot of fear when going to sleep, a lot of anxiety rather. Sometimes, if it's still dark outside I can't go to sleep with out a mild panic attack, but if I wait until daylight begins to break, I'm fine, I drift off like a little lamb. I have an EXTREME fear of death, it's the root cause for my worry and panic. There are plenty of examples, but I won't go into them. Let's just say that if I feel the slightest oddity in my body or environment, I'm immediately thinking of the worst that could happen.

Yea, definetely getting on the horn tomorrow with a Doc, I don't think this can wait until next month to get a referral, I need to relief now...
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Postby bikipatra » March 22nd, 2007, 1:12 am

If you tell them how urgent your symptoms are you might get in earlier. They always save a few spots or have cancellations. Good Luck! If it makes you feel any better, I have experienced all the above symptoms to one degree or another. You are not alone.
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updating

Postby FutureEMT » April 2nd, 2007, 10:42 pm

Ok, so I've been away for awhile...between detailing a friends car for 3 days and battling deprssion, I really haven't been online that much.

I almost tossed my decision to complete my medifast order the other day. Something inside me clicked and said," why are you going to throw your money away like that?" "don't you know you're just going to fail?"
I must be completely honest and say that that is where my mind was for a few days. I eventually came back to medifast. I know that is going to work as soon as I get off my lazy a$$ and finish my order. I simply cannot do a regular diet, I'm not disciplined enough to plan out meals, prepare them, and then eat them in a timely manner. I need something that is there,boom, saying"ok, here I am, now eat me!" Medifast is what I need.

Tonight I feel like a pregnant woman really far along, well atleast what I think a pregnant woman feels like, I've never been prgnant. All I can say is that my stomach is jutting out, it's a little hard to breathe,and I feel like I'm waddling everywhere...is that what pregnant feels like?
Anyway, I feel like crap, and speaking of crap, I uhhh...can't... Let's just say that I'm having a little trouble getting the plumbing to work, and I'm beginning to feel a little bloated, hence my rotten mood. :x

So yes, I'm whinning, thank you for not kicking me for that by the way. I guess I'm reaching that point, you know the one you think you've reached a thousand times before, yet you still do nothing about your weight? Well, I'm about to do something about it...I don't want another night of fried foods and cheese, yes they taste good for awhile, but honestly, they're beginning to make me sick. :twisted: If I see one more double cheeseburger I'm going to become a vegitarian. So this is it, this is what reaching your breaking point feels like? Well I guess it's a good thing because I can change, and I'm ready to change..but I gotta be honest with you... it f***ing sucks.

Pardon my rant ladies and gents, I just needed to get that out...thanks as always for listening,
Britt
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Postby bikipatra » April 3rd, 2007, 3:50 am

Been worried about you. Did you ever get to the doctor about your symptoms?
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