Feeling so sorry for myself

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Feeling so sorry for myself

Postby sweeshelby30 » October 4th, 2004, 9:46 am

Where do I begin? My heart tells me to be completely honest with myself and all of you. I have been out of control for the last month. I have been going through alot mentally especially with my job. Its so rough to balance my life, my home, my job as a police officer and MEDIFAST!! :x
I feel so depressed while I am doing MEDIFAST. I need to gain some type of control over my negative attitude towards MEDIFAST. I feel like its a punishment ! I need to succeed at this. Why am I so weak? I do not understand . Why ? Its like I have no will power. But today is a new day for me and I am doing it this time! My attitude will be more positive ! Today I am 210 tommorow and the next day you guys will see my progress. I just have to get through 3 days !
love ya all! :oops: :x :roll: :shock:
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Postby SusannaRosannaDanna » October 4th, 2004, 10:08 am

I'm so sorry that you are struggling!
There are times when I too feel that I am being punished, but you have to recognize that it is only your perception, and not fact. When I see skinny people on television eating an entire can of Pringles, I get all gnarly! LOL
Some nights I see my skinny kids shoveling in meatloaf and mashed potatoes, I wear a scowl until bedtime. I have those days--I'd venture to guess that most Medifasters do...but it is just our perception.
In reality, we know that that skinny person on television would NOT be if she regularly ate that way. Additionally, if I were a normal weight, I WOULD be able to enjoy supper with my kids and have a bite of everything in moderation.
But I'm not.
I'm very OVERWEIGHT. I could have done Atkins or South Beach or any of the other thousands of plans out there, but food and I do not play well together. something within me is compelled to binge at will when presented with food.
Frankly, this is why I do not have a lean/green meal very often. It would just be too easy for me to overdo it, even on lettuce! LOL
It's just the way I am. I feel like by doing Medifast, it gives me a break from thinking about food, from looking at it, from touching it. It's an absolute, you know?
Cheesecake? "I don't eat that."
baked potato soup? "I don't eat that."
Spaghetti? "I don't eat that."
Medifast takes away one of my greatest pitfalls. I promise you that if I were to have an acceptable serving of spaghetti, I would have a second, and probably a third. Garlic bread too.
Logically, I know these things are WRONG, but I am just COMPELLED to be an idiot in the face of pasta!
It is just so easy, when you are this overweight, to play down the signifigance of overeating. The attitude is that, at 260, so WHAT? So I'd weight 262? BIG DEAL!
But the truth of the matter is that it IS a big deal, and if you aren't solving the problem, you are contributing to it.
Don't look at it as a curse...look at Medifast as a miracle...a blessing... a tool that will PEEL the weight off of you and make you look and feel better. You have to use the tool for it to work.
You can do it--I know you can--if you can make it through the police acadamy, don't let something as insignifigant as unhealthy food stand in your way!


Susanna
Started 8/2/2004
297/234/140
Next goal: 220!

Wow. That's all I know to say.
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Postby fedup » October 4th, 2004, 11:09 am

I know this is hard- trust me I know! I also know what it's like when work or home stress/emotions make it even harder! But when you said you felt weak, you should know that you've shown great strenghth by even beginning this process. You are NOT weak. Let me tell you a truly funny and pathetic story... I was getting through my first few days last week, and all was chugging along, then Thur. night I got into a huge argument with the boyfriend. After he left, do you know the very FIRST though that went through my head? I should just eat, screw this whole MF thing, I just need to eat something. How crazy is that?! I wasn't even hungry, this was just the classic example of me wanting to eat to feel better. How was eating going to help the argument? Of course it wouldn't. In the past I would have given in to it... I'd have ordered a pizza and drank a coke faster than anything... but I'm trying to be conscious of this, and be stronger.

The bottom line is, I am unhappy with my weight. If I wasn't, then none of this would be an issue. But since I'm unhappy with it, and I realize I will never be happy at this weight, I know that that is the 100% most important goal I have right now. To be good to myself and try to make the choices that will make me happy for life, not just for the moment while I'm eating whatever it is...

You can do this too, I know I'm still new, and I agree it's tough as **** sometimes, but we can all do it if we stick together.
And the depression/anger you feel towards the medifast,
Christy 5'5" age-34
Fresh start: Sept. 15, 2005 (240/ 240/ 160)
"Time to 'release the butterfly' inside
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Postby Carrie » October 4th, 2004, 11:13 am

I agree with everything Susanna said.

I was VERY ANGRY when I placed my first Medifast order. Angry that I was in the situation I was in, angry that I had to do something about it, angry about a lot of things.

I too have looked at not eating everything I want as 'deprivation'.

I had to take a mature, hard look at my way of life and realize that eating out of control and being overweight is not doing myself any favors, it is not comforting me, it is not serving my best interest.

I am not depriving myself of food right now, I am CHOOSING to make DAILY DECISIONS to make myself healthier, to take care of myself. This is in fact, loving myself. What I was doing before I had labeled as taking care of myself, but it was self-abusive.

I had to muster the courage to face those first few days, and then once I had some success, it bolstered my self-esteem, gave me some self-confidence and the strength to continue making the right decisions. Now I wouldn't trade the 50 pounds I've lost for any amount of any food on this planet.

A positive attitude makes the difference between success and failure, find something positive to focus on and build from there.

Keep trying,

Carrie
Now: 2/5/07: 233.6/220.0/145
1st time: 3/1/04, from 266.5 to 195.4
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Postby Lois » October 4th, 2004, 11:38 am

Take it in small steps....just for today....just for the next three days.....just for this week.....before you know it, you'll have some time under your belt, and then it really does get easier.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!

And we are ALL here to suppport you!

hugs :hug:

Lois
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Postby elle4nelly » October 4th, 2004, 12:05 pm

Dido with susanna and carrie!

They've given you good advice!

Nelly
Final Restart on Dec 18th
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Postby hawaiiwhatnot » October 4th, 2004, 12:16 pm

sweeshelby,

Having probably one of the most dangerous jobs in the world doesn't help with the stress level. Thank you by the way for being a policewoman. It takes a special kind of person, and you are an angel for protecting the rest of us.

The only thing I can offer is my experience of yes, feeling very deprived not eating regular food, BUT once I step on the scale, THERE'S THE REWARD!!!! You just have to get to that point, and you will feel it too. THEN, you feel encouraged to keep going just to see those scale numbers keep going down!

Visit here in the forum when it gets tough. We're your biggest fans! :hug:

Camille
Jun 1, 2004 Start Date 5' 6" 195 lbs
Jun lost 20#=175#
Jul lost 14#=161#
Aug lost 7#=154#
Sep lost 13#=141#
Oct lost 12#=129#
Nov lost 4#=125#
70 lbs in 5 1/2 mos!
Hello Victoria's Secret! I did it! July 2005 still 125 lbs!
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Postby Nancy » October 26th, 2004, 12:13 am

Howdy Sweeshelby ~

I just found your posting and the other’s comments and replies.

First, you DO have a stressful occupation. My friend is a police officer and every time I see him, I am thankful for him, for his commitment and for his difficult work. We pray often for his safety and for his peace of mind.

Making changes in one’s routine is not easy. Cutting back on food is not easy.

I had moments of feeling angry when I began Medifasting – I was angry at myself for allowing myself to get so out of control. I had moments of feeling deprived when others were enjoying foods that were not on my list of “approved’ foods.

I had a little pep talk with my self – I am a chronic self-talker – and told myself that I could do anything for a while. I worked on being program compliant for the morning, then for the morning and the afternoon and then for the morning, afternoon and evening. I concentrated on drinking something every fifteen minutes. Meals were on the hour and water was consumed on the quarter and the half hour.

Medifast DOES work, it tastes pretty good and you may have a lot of shakes - you are rather active, I’m sure so have 7 shakes or 7 Medifast meals a day. Be sure to check with your doc before you choose to do the complete program. For many, having fewer food choices is the way to go – it was for me. I needed NO regular food because I couldn’t be trusted with it.

Establish the reason why you want to lose weight, write down your goal and all the reasons why you want to lose weight and read your list every day – keep focused like you must do at work.

Check in often, I know it will be hard to deal with all the potty breaks when you are on duty but eventually the number of stops slows down.
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels...
The Formerly FLABulous and Now very Fabulous
Nancy Pettit
267/130
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