The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

well i do already have a weight loss blog, you can get to it by clicking the little www button below my post. I cheated a little, had extra lean. I know exactly why i did it. I am feeling in a bit of a funk, i am not the type to get upset about not having a boyfriend anymore, just guess i go through my little times when i get down and wouldnt mind someone around...and i get really annoyed at running into all the frogs before the supposed prince that is supposed to come along. anyways...if i dont go to the movies with jeanean tonight since she is finally able to get out of her place then i am going to go walking before finishing cleaning.. i update my other blog pretty much daily if anyone wants to check it out

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

Alright, so i have gotten myself out of the "mood" i was in. I feel a lot better actually. Sometimes it just sucks though. I guess it doesnt help sometimes that i am working and still really good friends with my most recent ex and the fact that occasionally i hear about his ex whom he went back with. Not that I want him back because if he chose her over me I dont feel like being a backup because I deserve better than that.

anyways enough with guys... so i guess i should do some sort of intro so i dont sound like some dumb young 21yr old who lets guys control her emotions.


So.... I was originally born in Poughkeepsie NY, November 21 1984, i have 2 older siblings, neither of which i am really close with. I am much closer to my cousin who is 23 now, her and i have grown to be like sisters over the years. Anyways.. I moved down to fl with my family when i was 3 and we were the average middle class american family with a cat and dog that went to church every sunday . I think i had a very blessed childhood because i had a lot of opportunities. i wanted to do dance, i took dance lessons (which i still love lol), i wanted to horseback ride, i got horse back riding lessons...etc etc etc. Anyways my parents started having marriage problems, obviously i didnt know too much about them then but my dad was cheating and they ended up divorcing and i started seeing less and less of my father. Honestly i know it was a young age, but when they divorced when i was ten was when i started having weight issues...or rather started eating whenever i was upset. that year i remember shooting up 30 lbs because my mom made such a big deal about it and made me feel horrible and then my brother had gotten mad and yelled at her for it. But yeah as i got older, whenever i felt depressed or upset about something i ate because i really didnt want to bother going to my mom to tell her that i was upset or something was bugging me, she had her hands full with her sister. it has always been that way and still is. On the upside it has taught me to be very independent and I have accomplished a lot on my own. I moved out 2 months after high school graduation (with honors, and i was the only one to graduate out of me and my siblings) and moved in with my cousin and her then fiance'(now her hubby) i was working and going to school and it was my first semester of college not including the summer courses i took and i was doing really good, then i got the news my dad died and not only my weight went up but my grades and dedication to school went down and i honestly have to say it hasnt been the same, hence i took last semester off to give me some time to make sure i know what i want to do in school and to get myself refocused.

so thats where i am at now. lol... trying to refocus my energy better and get my life in order. i am pretty happy with how i am doing now and finally in the right mindset to achieve what i want. well ill write more later. tata

[SharonR]

Your doin' good girl! I know your not feeling well right now, so drink lots of water and get back on the horse! You can do this!

Sharon

[Prancer]

Good to meet you. Congratulation on your success so far.

I grew up outside of Poughkeepsie.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

thanks jenn and sharon . i feel so much better now.


so now i have decided that i am going to really keep track of my water intake. i work today. so i am refilling my 20 oz bottle and tallying how many i have had. so far 60 oz. im going to try and do at least 2 more bottles...maybe 3.. i think water and sleep are my biggest downfalls that might be keeping me from losing a lil bit more. still averaging around 3 per week aint bad at all and i am very happy that 14 lbs is gone FOREVER hehe.

well this week was pretty good with the exception fo the evil tomatoes. lol

i went and saw this band called Morningwood on weds night with my friend jeanean (NO ALCOHOL !!!!! ) she cant drink either because of her heart so it makes it a lot easier. and jeanean is one of the most supportive people i know so i love having her around to keep my mind on track with this diet. so last night i had a smart ones eclair...yeah still diet food... but i should know better. i think i am nearing my period because it was a total sweets craving. i should have just gotten in bed earlier so i didnt even get to that point lol. oh well no sense in beating myself up...right? hopefully that doesnt affect things too bad.

i also did my ballet workout yesterday morning... did LOTS of crunches hehe...getting rid of this flabby tummy...lol it really is gross...i know ive lost weight there but it just looks so yeck and i hope it doesnt stay that way even after i lose the weight. Im young so it shouldnt...right?

alright.. write more later...thanks you all for your help and support

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

at work... today went by pretty fast, got on the scale and supposedly it says im @ 202.5 but i dont trust that scale so i am not even going to get my hopes up. been downing ALOT of water the past few days so might have just dropped a bit more water weight. Sometimes I feel like I might never get to the weight i want, like its just not something i'll ever achieve. but then again i am nearing 20#...and i am losing about 85 total...so im 14 the way there. I am not discouraged, just i guess i have never done something like this before. Sure i have lost 10 lbs here and there..but never as much as 20...much less 85. I guess it really does help blogging about it and posting about it. Sorta keeping my mind into it. living the MF way if you will. Not that I am thinking all day about food or anything, i actually think about food a lot less now. though i look foward to my lean and green now that me rachel and my aunt are cooking all of mine and rachels foods for our lean and greens for the week on the weekend and so come lunch time i know i am in for something delicious...and on plan!
and i am learning to cook...slowly..heh..

finally mastered preparing the pudding. ICE COLD water makes it the best consistency . now i absolutely love the puddings.

also i love hot cocoa blended with ice...tastes like melty chocolate ice cream

so tomorrow morning i want to go swimming... i still need to finish my room. i really am a big procrastinator, there is a lot to do this week and ive yet to do them.

-laundry
-get everything set for school so i can register for classes
-streamline room
-ferret cage *pinches nose* that is getting done tonight.

but first...i hope i get home in time for the online meeting... i had trouble logging in the week before last though
i really missed it i enjoy the online meetings alot. its sorta like a midweek boost and nancy truely is inspirational...and like i said not that i am discouraged, because i have seen great results...but i could use some more inspiration
love u all , take care !

[Zinkette99]

Honey, I know what you mean. I have NEVER lost more then 12 pounds. Thats about the time I quit. So I can completely understand your disbelief and reservations that being thin will ever happen for you. It is a DAUNTING task.

You are on a similar road as myself (actually you have like 50 pounds on me so at least you're that much ahead!) Being thin is possible. You can do it, and you will.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed come here. Look at the people on this site. They are doing this. It IS possible. You will do it too.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

thanks for your comment zinkette, made me smile.

it really does feel daunting ...i guess because ive not really ever been small since puberty. im doing much better today. started off the morning with a 30 minute swim then a nice shower, did my make up and hair and dressed really cute for work. sometimes just dressing up cute makes me feel better i guess because i think i look better.

Today they have one of the guys from Napster Corporate here so i guess presenting my best face is a good thing

anyways, got about another 2 and a half hours left of work. trying to keep myself entertained as we dont have too many calls coming in today.

tonight I WILL finish off my room since its mainly just clothes needing to be put away and a few odds and ends, then maybe i can relax and have a cup of soup with my mf crackers yum!

alright well yeah today has been uneventful so far, but nice nonetheless

*****edit******
ugh... i getting tech calls where people DONT LISTEN...just makes my job that much stressful... ...between being stuck on an 80 min tech call where the person wouldnt listen the first 10 times i said something and this guy being a jerk on the phone with me just now because i told him not to do things he was doing that were probably going to cause furhter problems with his music playing then told me if it doesnt work he is canceling... i am glad it is my break... time for a shake...grrrrr

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

SERIOUSLY! I am tired of some people complaining and whining about being heavy and not being able to meet someone but not doing anything at all about it. then because someone else is doing something they want to make fun of them


so ill back up and explain. I am working today and like i said yesterday, one of the guys from corporate is here because they launched a newer version of napster. When they come one of the days they get us pizza...obviously i am not touching it (did stick my head in the room and take a big whiff). So we have this little online chat where other coworkers and i are able to chat in. so i said man that pizza smells good, im hiding in my cubicle (the 3 of them in there all know im on medifast) and one of them (which i might add is around 400 lbs so not any room to speak seeing as ive seen what he eats and it all is out of the candy machine) he decided to start saying stuff like "YUMMY PIZZA GOOEY PIZZA DELICIOUS PIZZA' etc etc. so i left the chat... but im tempted to go over there and curse him out or say ..well ..very unnice things. stuff like that makes me want to do this diet even more than ever.


grrr...just yeah....my feelings right now are grrr..

****edit*****

lol i was so mad i forgot to add that those size 20's ive got that i couldnt fit into (the ones i swear are not 20's because i fit into all my other 20's just fine, even most are loose) well I AM WEARING THEM TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

TGIF? eh... idk.. a little nervous about weighing in. i think im too hopeful that i will have reached my first goal. anyways we will see sunday. i fit into size 18s now, though im still mainly wearing my 20s because they are comfy and loose now. had a bit of stupid drama happen last night that really pissed me off, but yay for not eating my way through it.

not feeling to talkative or social today. My friends wanted me to go out tonight with them but i dont want to because i know they will be drinking, andyet again i dont feel like being around it. think im going to go home and dive into bed early. my comp at home has been on the fritz. there is a lot on my mind . right now i just sorta feel like the only thing going right is this diet and i dont want to directly relate my happiness to this diet alone and my success with it. Sometimes i wish i knew exactly what i am supposed to do. sometimes i have a pretty good idea but then i guess sometimes i question it. part of me doesnt want to go back to school, but im doing it because it is what is right. why cant i be like those other young adults my age and go right through and get my degree? why am i so unsure? i know i want to start my own business, i know i want to do photography as my business, theres more to it which ive planned out but blah not going into details. But really do i need school for it? maybe it might help...but i dont know. today is a day where i want to hide...

[wildtrk]

Smile...your muffin tops are shrinking!

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

lol thanks wldtrk that made me smile. yes they definitely are.

i cheered myself up a little. one of my friends that i work with got a job in a different area of where we work and he is weekend supervisor, well i went over to one of the supervisors and let her know that i was interested in the position. she said yay so that cant be bad. i know there is one other person that would be deserving of it so if i dont get it i hope she does. i would have to give up weekends off for the most part but thats not a big deal for me. i did it before and i can do it again. a pay increase for those 2 days would be nice. so wish me luck guys

[wildtrk]

LUCK!

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

ahhhhh so today is good after all lol..

the sup i talked to came over to tell me she wants to train me on how to supervise next week so when it comes time to have someone else do it when mak leaves then she can say "jenn already is trained in that " HAHAHAHAH *does sacred booty shake...with tinier booty*


im happy now!

[SharonR]

Girl, your almost in the #20 club!!