Aquarianskye

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Postby ChynnaDoll » March 26th, 2008, 12:16 pm

yeah i've tried a number of times to respond to posts but this thing is so slow i just give up..i know Unca is trying his best to correct things tho:+)

I hope the sweet wittle baby gets to feeling better soon...i remember, i use to cry right along with mine when they were sick:+( Well as long as nothing earthshattering is going on i guess i'll say toodle'loo to'ya for now!
So glad you and Bren had such a GREAT time together:+) She better post those pics soon or else i'm gonna hafta go get'm myself!!!

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Postby queenielou » March 26th, 2008, 5:21 pm

I agree, Chy - we're gonna have to go get those pictures from Brenda and upload them ourselves!

Hope you baby is feeling better, Skye :)
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Postby aquarianskye » March 27th, 2008, 12:19 pm

Hey girlies, thanks for the well wishes. baby and I both made it through the day but it sure was a lOOOONNNNNNGGGGG one. Ugh,

frustrated here...scale has been moving in the wrong direction. I've added more walking tho so I'm trying really hard to convince myself that that was what's doing it.

Gotta go get the monsters from school. (more walking for me!)
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Postby dede4wd » March 27th, 2008, 1:46 pm

Just checking in and catching up! HI!
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Postby aquarianskye » April 10th, 2008, 1:47 pm

Well, ladies and gents, I'm back, sorta. I've been in and out of my own little funk lately. And with the way the site was the last few times I visited I figured it was just a sign to focus on what was really in my head. I've been trying to pay attention to myself more, pay attention to what's going on in my head. There has been a lot of CRAP going on in my head.

I've been wondering why it takes so long for our mind to catch up with our shrinking bodies? I've had to do some shopping lately. Not that I've really wanted to due to finances and denial over what size I may really be. Well, I went out a few months ago and got my size 16 bottoms and 14/16 tops thinking in my mind that the clothes must be miss-marked. I never said it but I thought it in my head every time I'd put those 16 capri's on.

Well, when I went out two weeks ago to get some new clothes I got another pair of size 16 jean capri's and two shirts size xl. One of my friends recently brought me an 'outgrown" (she's too small for them) pair of blue jeans size 14. I wore them on Saturday. I had them on all day. Yeah, they were snug but I had them on and I wore them.

So, again, I'm wondering what my major malfunction is that has caused me to see that 285# girl that I used to be. My brain was in denial when I was there-at 285-thinking "I'm not that BIG. I don't look that bad". So, now that I am smaller than I had been why is my brain stuck at that 285? I just don't get it? Really, I don't.

So that's my world right now. Obsessive compulsive or something...
Skye
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Postby Tawanda » April 13th, 2008, 9:50 am

Hi Skye! I had the same trouble with seeing the 'old' me all of a sudden. I was so excited for awhile, seeing myself shrink and look so much thinner and then one day all I could see is how 'big' I looked. It was odd and messed with my mind along with my determination to keep going. Please keep plugging away, I watch for updates on how you are doing.
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Postby cydj21 » April 13th, 2008, 4:08 pm

Hi Skye!

I just wanted to chime in here too - you are NOT crazy. I sometimes still have a really hard time not picturing myself as a size 22 and 271lbs. Lately, my biggest mind game with myself has been the absolute belief that even when I hit my goal that I will STILL be where I am today at a size 14/16. The fact that my younger (and shorter) sister is a size 4/6 at 135lbs is of no matter to me - in my mind I will never be anything smaller than where I am today even when I make it to 145. With that said, you know as well as I do that such thinking is not indicative of reality, so just keep yourself moving along and soon those new 14s will be loose and you'll be shocked to find yourself in a size 12. Hopefully, I will be shocked to find myself in a 12 right alongside you and we can chuckle with each other for being so silly! Have a great week!
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Postby aquarianskye » April 16th, 2008, 11:12 am

Thanks T and Cyd. I swear sometimes I feel like I'm crazy. My head just won't catch up with my real body.

I'm still plugging along. So close to onederland. 201.6 again today. Had a pretty big loss for me this week (-4.something) so I expect it to be a slow week. Plus I've noticed that I don't lose much through the week when I get smaller amounts of sleep. I seem to drop more on the weekends.

Okay, going to go get some stuff done.
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Postby aquarianskye » April 22nd, 2008, 7:44 am

So, I don't know who started it but I had to steal the idea of a second ticker. I need something to keep me going. I'm stalled. I've been 201.something for over seven days now. I know that it's only onderland lurking but I expected this body to be there by now. So, my newest goal is to get my butt to 195. And I guess after that I'll change it again. Maybe if I take this in smaller steps I will stop being such a stick in the mud. I know that I will get UNDER 200. If I keep doing what I'm doing then this body has to let go of the fat it's keeping.
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Postby cydj21 » April 22nd, 2008, 8:20 am

Skye - I FEEL YOU! lol I have been stuck in the 190s for months, literally. Granted, I've only been back on MF for a smidge over two weeks, but the 190s are killing me right now. I swear some days I am convinced I am going to have to be taken away in a straight jacket if I don't hurry up and see 189! :lol: I was actually contemplating a countdown to the 180s ticker myself although for now I am still concentrating on my Memorial Day goal. With that said, even just breaking it down into that smaller goal has been helpful...it makes it all seem more achievable. Get that second ticker going and let's do it together!
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Postby aquarianskye » April 22nd, 2008, 9:18 am

Thanks for the reply Cyd. I've seriously been doing a lot of 'soul' searching lately. Trying to find a reason to quit and convince myself that I'm happy at 201 point something. I totally hear you on the straight jacket. I swear my husband thinks I'm crazy. Poor guy. It probably wouldn't be so bad but I keep going back and forth with it.

I'm not sure what my problem is lately. I'm hoping that if I can convince my brain that I CAN weigh under 200 then this body will follow. I know it's a mental thing. And I know that if I keep working the program then it will work. I keep reminding myself that I was less than compliant over the weekend (missed two MF meals both days). And I'm sure my body is just now catching up with that. Maybe in a few days my body will just let go.

I also think that part of my problem is that I haven't been around here for awhile. I need this board and the support.

So, thanks again Cyd.
Skye
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Postby aquarianskye » April 22nd, 2008, 11:51 am

Now we all know that I have been having some bleh days. Or maybe I could tell you how bleh my days have been but I'd much rather spend the time documenting my nsv's today. It's finally been nice enough for us to walk to the school in the mornings. Well, I went in today and actually walked the girls to their hallways. As I was walking out I saw oldest daughters teacher (haven't seen her for a few weeks). She tells me as I'm passing her that I'm just disappearing before her eyes. I tell her I'm trying.

Next I see one of the school counselors that is just in love with the baby. She talks to the baby almost daily after school. She tells me that she thinks I'm shrinking. I tell her I'm trying.

I see another mom that works at the school and she tells me I look great today. She can really see a difference in me. (I've talked diet with her before). I said THANKS!

Then as I'm leaving the school another mom said to me that she thinks I'm withering away. I need to stop losing weight. She's the same mom who didn't think I needed to lose more weight to begin with. I told her that I still wanted to drop at least 20 more #s.

I was wearing my size 14 jeans and a tank top (maybe I'll get a picture of it tonight). So, that was my morning.
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Postby DogMa » April 22nd, 2008, 12:35 pm

That's excellent! And it may take a LOT of that for it to sink in that you look different now. Heck, I've been a size 6 for a year and a half now, and I still think I'm at LEAST a 12 or 14.
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Postby lifelovinaries » April 22nd, 2008, 1:54 pm

and after all those nsv's, you went home and enjoyed a shake, working towards a fully compliant day right? It's funny how we see ourselves so differently than others see us. Currently, i wear about a 12 (or a junior's 13) but i still feel like an 18 or 20. That's what i see when i look in the mirror. Although i feel comfortable in my size, reality doesn't always seem REAL. I think the main reason i feel comfortable is because of the NUMBER, not necessarily what i see. I try to go with that because i think no matter what the size, i will always see myself as WAY BIGGER.
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Postby aquarianskye » April 22nd, 2008, 3:09 pm

Hey ladies. Thanks for stopping over Robin and OC. I guess that the whole size thing is part of my problem. A year ago when I started this I told myself I'd be content if I could fit into a size 16. Well, I'm there. I want to be satisfied. I'm not tho.

And yes OC, I've had an on plan day. I was late with my second supp but I made up for it. I'm down four supps and still have my l/g to go and then one more supp before bed. I was even considering having a sixth supp since I walked extra today. I'll see how I feel later.

Robin, I can't even imagine fitting into a size six. After birthing four kids I just don't know if I could get much smaller than a 10 or 12. I guess we'll see where I end. Like I said, I know that's part of my problem. I just didn't expect to get any smaller than I am now. We'll see tho. I'm not done yet.
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