The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[bikipatra]

For me, being fat in the summer was so miserable. I was working in a law office so I was in business wear. I was always sweating more than everyone else, even in the office, and my legs would cramp so easily walking just a few blocks. Atleast in winter our fat gives some warmth but I am looking forward to a much lighter summer for BOTH of us!

[Sojourner]

I have a wondrful personality and people like me, so I can't dwell on the fact that I"m not a super model.

I love that!!

[DonicaB]

Anna~ I was just looking through a catalog at some bathing suits earlier today. That in itself is a miracle. I am actually excited about the possiblity of buying a new, cute bathing suit for summer. I don't think I have even thought about a new bathing suit for years.

Anyway, I didn't realize that I had actually been exciting about considering buying a new bathing suit until I read your post. Thank you for giving me another reason to stick this out. We will both be looking and feeling much better come summer time.

DonicaB

[AnnaKat]

Things have been off balance for me lately, and I'm surprised how well I've stuck to the plan. Think this shows me I'm really ready this time. I had a mental breakdown last week. Spent 3 days crying and on the day I would have stopped, my grandma has a stroke, so I spent that day in the hospital crying. Thank the LORD she is recovering and I'll be seeing her today. Then this week I've been sick. It's hard to want to be on a diet when you're not feeling well mentally and physically. But I did it. Some days I didn't have enough suppliments due to sleeping too much and being at the hospital unprepared. But for the most part I did ok. Guess Sunday's weigh in will be the judge. But I won't be disappointed no matter what the results. I'm proud of myself for not faltering when it's so easy to do when you're not well.
Did have an NSV today. I sat in a chair that usually hurts cuz my butt/thighs were too big and I'd stuff myself in it. Today I sat in it and there was no pain and room to wiggle.

[Karli]

[katieb920]

Wow I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. Here if you need me. Also I hope you are feeling a little better. But I congratulate you on sticking on program. Also good job on the nsv.
Katie

[AnnaKat]

6/11/2008

I just re-read my journal and I am SO disappointed in myself. I see that I was on track even through a rough patch, and now, 1 year and 4 months later I am still fat. Fatter. And still completely miserable about it. What the hell happened? Why can't I stick to a diet? Within that year and a half I think I attempted Medifast 2 more times, Atkins twice, a regular exercise routine, Alli and god knows what else, only to fail miserably. Why? Because food is my best friend. I can't seem to stay away from it. I've tried some conseling, but that never helped and it cost way too much. One Psychologist suggested an eating disorder conseling, which at the time didn't think that was my problem. But now I realize that I don't have to be anorexic or bulimic to have an eating disorder. I remember as a kid always sneaking that extra helping of dinner, those 5 cookies and so much other food. Hiding in my room or eating so fast before someone catches me. And it happened as an adult. I'd order pizza with friends and even though I was full on 2 slices, all I could think about was how am I going to eat another piece without looking like a pig in front of my skinny friends?
And now, I live alone (for the past 5 years now) and the only thing I look forward to is eating. IT's so hard to give that up. What I can't understand is why I can't find the motivation to succeed at losing weight. A look in the mirror should be motivation enough. And it usually is in the morning. But by the end of the work day, I lose that motivation as I think of what yummy thing I can make for dinner that I can eat all by myself with no one watching or judging. I figure, I'm this fat, what I do today won't change tomorrow, so I'll put off my "diet" one more day. And of course, one more day turns into weeks, months and yes... years.
I am 32 years old. Never married. No boyfriends in 6 years. I am too disgusted with myself to even THINK about dating anyone. I can't stand to see me naked, I'm sure as hell not going to let some guy see me naked.
So, why am I here? I always come back to Medifast. Shamefully, I have been trying to start for the past 2 weeks. I do my MF meals during the day, some days I succeed, and then some days I cave at dinner. The longest I went was 3 days and I lost 8 pounds. Then that very day I weighed myself and felt great...I ate pizza. Why in the world did I do that? I was past my 3 day hump and I went and screwed it all up. 5 days later (today), and 5 pounds gained back, I've decided I can't keep this up. I need to do this and stick to it no matter what. So I've decided to journal again. Keep my thoughts fresh and get some inspiring feedback (I hope) as I did last time I journaled.
I can't believe I'm admitting this in writing.
Don't let my mom see this!!! LOL!

So, today I've had 4 MF meals, my l&g baked chicken and asparagus and I will have one more shake in about an hour.

By the way... Thank God for the oatmeal. That new blueberry is great.

And now a thought I've pondered for quite some time....
When I was younger and only like 20-30 lbs overweight, I was SO self-conscious. Thought I was the fattest person ever. And when I lost those extra lbs and was actually skinny, I was still so aware of how I looked that I never got to enjoy being skinny. I still thought I was fat and it's all I ever thought about. So now, here I am 300 lbs and wondering.....is it better to just be an obese person who KNOWS they are fat and deals with it than to be a person who is a "normal" weight who is constantly self conscious and comparing themselves to others? Being obese, I KNOW that guys aren't looking at me, so I don't have to try and be pretty or try and impress people with my looks. It's so much easier this way. Perhaps it's my self-conscious way of not letting men into my life so I don't get hurt anymore. Psycho babble.
I'm not sure I'm putting this into words as well as I'd like to. There's something soothing about knowing you're not going to be the pretty and have to try and get a guys attention between you and the other pretty girls. I know I'm fat. I know I'm not attractive. So I can be myself without trying to impress or be fake to get a guys attention. If that makes any sense to anyone but me.

But now I've decided that I don't want to be that fat ugly person anymore. I was a dish when I was younger and thinner and if god willing, I can be again. I went out after work yesterday to the bar across the street with these two skinny, attractive young (25ish) girls. And I watched all the men just stare at them. I decided I want to be them. I want to feel good about myself among many other things.
But I've written a novel. I better save some thoughts for tomorrow.

[Mike]

Test worked... are ye back Anna?

[AnnaKat]

yep.. back and ready to GO

[DogMa]

Welcome back, Anna. If it's any consolation, I'm 46 and never married. And rarely dating (not at all in nearly a year). And this is while I'm thin. So being thin is no guarantee you're gonna get more attention from men, welcome or not. I'm also living proof that you still don't have to put a lot of effort into looking nice, even if you're thin. I do lately, but I spent (spend?) plenty of time in jeans and oversized T-shirts, too.

I'm not sure what makes one person stick to the plan and another struggle. Or what makes someone struggle for years until finally something clicks.

Maybe try focusing less on looks and more on improving your health? I don't know. Either way, we're here if you need support. Feel free to PM anytime, too. I think I have many of the same self-image issues you do, even now.

[AnnaKat]

6/16/08
Day 6 and going strong. I survived the weekend, and that was going to be my biggest challenge. Now I'm far enough along that I won't break down and cheat. If I'm only on day one or two, I say to myself... if I eat now it won't make any difference, so I'll get that last yummy "whatever" I can get in and THEN I'll start. Of course I did that for 2 weeks. I started marking my days I stay on track on a chalk board in my kitchen. I bought plenty of lean and green meals and many more MF packets.
I don't have the cravings anymore and I am feeling more energized. In fact, I was too restless to go to bed at a decent hour last night. As of yesterday I did weigh myself and I'm back down to where I was before the last time I screwed up. I KNOW it's water weight! Man, I haven't peed so much in my life!
I'm just glad I'm feeling better and I'm looking forward to shedding this weight.

[AnnaKat]

6/18/08
Today is one week fully on plan and from the very start of it all, I am at least down 10 lbs.
But this morning when I got up I felt SO drained, so weak and muscles felt so tired. It was very hard to get out of bed this morning. I'm hoping this passes soon. I took my vitamins today and I do feel better as the day goes on, but not 100%.
I still get so very hungry between meals. I eat about 3 hours apart. I got some soy crisps to much on during the hardest time which is after my soup for lunch and before my next shake at 4:30. And when I get home from work about 6:30 I am so hungry I can't stand it! I know it'll pass, but it just sucks right now. At least I don't have any cravings for bad food. I just desperately need my lean and green FAST!
Gotta love that George Foreman grill, cooks chicken in no time!

[DogMa]

I don't know your schedule, but if you can, you might try eating 2.5 hours apart, at least earlier in the day. It works better for some.