The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[LongWay2go]

Carrie!

The LW is right, Spidey and Guido need to visit this horrible woman! Pray for her? Not on my time! That witch with a "B" needs an attitude adjustment, and there are people (like me!) who would give her one in a heartbeat! You DO NOT have to put up with that, not now, not ever! Your BOSS is just as guilty of harrassment for dropping the ball and allowing this to continue. This is not something that can wait for "another day." This needs to be addressed NOW and if he/she won't do it, then you need to drag that poor excuse for a human by the hand down to HR and tell them in her face what is going on. Then the ball is in their court and they will have to do something about it. If they don't you have officially documented the problem and Diane was right, you need to be documenting this stuff ON PAPER and you need to send copies to your boss and HR. Now Spidey is P.O.'d!!

[Nancy]

P.O.'d?

Hmm...Porked Off?

Puffed Out?

I am not happy about the boss' reaction either. I DO think the issue needs to be addressed immediately and NOT put off.

I was thinking about this over the weekend. I have been on both sides of the desk during my working years. As a general rule people do not want to make trouble for themelves or for others and therefore, when something skanky happens, the first time they try to shrug it off, chalk it up to a bad day. When it occurs a second or third time, then it begins to irk us and eventually it can fester into something really nasty.

Grown ups, as a rule - are not tattle tales, not seeking to create big issues for fear of retribution and for fear of losing their job. If one of my employees came to me with a problem such as yours I would consider the source.

If this person had a good work history, I'd listen carefully, observe the situation, collect some data and deal with it as soon as I could but I would certainly let the one who came to me know that I was genuinely interested in them and their problem and that I would take some action. Even if the person coming to me doesn't have their wiring up to code, I'd still let them know I was genuinely interested in them and would check it out pronto.

Due to litigation, hegetation occurs!

All in all, it sounds like a hinky situation and we just feel so bad that YOU our dear Carrie have to endure this right now but you are getting stronger! and you are demonstrating self-control! You will survive!

[Carrie]

Well, here I am at the office again....... boy did the weekend fly by.

Thank you so much for all of your input over the weekend, it helps me stay focused on realizing that though this is a problem I have to deal with, it really isn't about me - this woman is miserable and chooses to attack people to express it. Like a playground bully.

One of the major issues handled in the departmental meeting was everyone coming to work on time. Our day starts at 8 and she typically arrives at 8:15, 8:30. Policy is that anyone late more than 3 times in 3 months can be written up and the progressive discipline leads to eventual termination. Everyone in the department manages to come to work on time but this person. Guess what? She arrived at 8:15 this morning. She may just lose her job because she can't follow some pretty basic rules. She doesn't seem to think they apply to her.

I am going to request from my boss that my meeting with her take place before Wednesday. We have a holiday Thursday and I plan to take Friday off. If I have to I will start using the 'h' word. I fully recognize that I will have to push until this takes place. The bottom line is that I don't think I'll start getting over it until I can confront her directly. Having to listen to her talk like that for almost a year has taken a toll that can't just be ignored. Not the least of which, I have the right to tell her what I think of her behavior.

I have to laugh about Spidey and Guido - and Sheryl too. I thought last week that I wished I could just plop her down in the midst of my MF friends and let you all put her straight. Instant solution!

LilBit - I wish I could be as understanding and forgiving as you are. I can readily admit that this woman is truly unhappy and has some serious psychological issues - as a matter of fact I frequently worry about what she's doing to her kids - growing up around that kind of hatefulness. But somehow I am way more concerned with getting her to stop verbally abusing me and others. I see absolutely no remorse of any kind from her, and am not inclined to let the abusive behavior slip by instantly forgiven. I fully believe in accepting responsibility for our actions - and that includes not deliberately hurting others. If she were to come to me and apologize and exhibit some genuine intention of making things right - then yes, I would make an equal effort to forgive and forget. But that isn't happening. More like I feel that I must actively defend my basic rights on the job on a daily basis. I understand how your position is the higher moral ground - but I guess I'm not that mature or kind a person. Kinda hate to admit that, but it's the honest truth. Right now I just want her to stop.

I'm feeling a bit stronger, still feel fragile, but I can feel myself rebounding. Sometimes the progress is in infinitesimally small distance physically, but enormous spiritual victories.

DC, Gerald, Camille, Mike, Diane, Nancy, LilBit, Kat, Sylvia, Christy, Sheryl..........you are all the greatest. I'm so glad we are making this journey together. You have my unflagging support and appreciation.

Isn't this a great group of people?

Hugs all around,
Carrie

[LongWay2go]

Carrie, what a great idea! Invite her to a meeting - a MF meeting! I could see attending a meeting as important as that one. I think we could even convince Guido to attend! I'll bring the duct tape. We'll make her eat MF chili with no additions! LOL

Keep your chin up, darlin'! We're with you all the way.

~Spidey

[gr8views]

I think you are handling this situation with maturity - especially because you recognise what YOU need and are following through with that.

I also think that recognizing the issue of the Nemesis' horrible personal life will help you deal with her. She is a miserable woman, in more ways than one!

You are approaching this with great strength and courage; you just don't see it. You'll confront her and let her know that her behavior is horrible and has to stop. You will be able to 'let this go' and keep living your life regardless of her behavior. This is making you such a strong person!

The great thing about this is you are calling her on it. She has been a bully and it appears no one has done anything, including management. She may try to make you out to be the 'bad guy' in all this during your meeting. Don't let her do it. Have specific examples of her behavior (with as much emotion taken out of it as you can) that you can lay on the table as 'proof' of this harassing situation. The evidence will speak for itself. Don't get emotional (angry, tearful, etc.) and let her try to explain herself to your manager. You can do this.

Keep us posted. We're all here to have the MF meeting if we need to do so!

Di

[explorthis]

we could even convince Guido to attend! I'll bring the duct tape

Carrie and I go back A-Long way. My support for her is S-T-R-O-N-G.
Guido does not like when others do not play well with his friends. Duct tape would be the least of this poor excuse for a Woman's problems. Once Guido was done, she would not want to show her face in person again. More like "da cement chooz"

DON’T MESS WITH GUIDO and his FRIENDS – EVER!

-Mike (proxy for Guido)