If I had Only Known

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If I had Only Known

Postby alpha femme » June 22nd, 2006, 2:08 pm

you know, when i was in high school, i was overweight. well, i've always been overweight.... but in hs, i thought i was a cow.

looking back at pictures, i realize that i was MAYBE a 16 on bottom and a large on top. i freaking wish someone had said, "you aren't huge. if you diet for a couple of months, you'll be a normal size." i had no perspective on what i really looked like.

i guess, in some ways, i still do not. but i'm trying now.

it just seems like there's a point in every young person's life that they can turn it around. i missed mine. but i hope others that are young and coming to this board grab theirs and wrestle it into submission.
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Postby pinkflamingonewsgirl » June 22nd, 2006, 2:12 pm

hehe...yeah...I wish I were still a size 16. I was one up until this last year. I was 183 till my sophomore year in college (this last one) when I blew up to 219 and a size 20. That was a huge deal to me (no pun intended). It just made me more depressed and when I came home, I ate more. Medifast has really helped me a lot. For the first time ever, I feel like I can really become a normal sized person.
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Postby DogMa » June 22nd, 2006, 2:24 pm

I think I was a 13 or so in high school. I felt like I was at least twice that. (Then again, in junior high I was maybe a 9. And again, I felt like I was huge. I wore a jacket no matter how hot it got, because I wanted to cover things up so badly.)
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Postby pinkflamingonewsgirl » June 22nd, 2006, 2:27 pm

hehe...I've done the jacket and big sweater thing
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Postby bdg » June 22nd, 2006, 3:07 pm

To make you guys feel better that it isn't just girls in HS who think that, I was that way too. I thought I was huge in my senior year, and I was nowhere near huge. I was heavy until junior high, lost weight and kept it off well until college, but that didn't change how I felt about myself. Now I am down what I am and realize that I wish I had found this plan just after college when I was more in control again.
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Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » June 22nd, 2006, 3:48 pm

i feel sorta cheated because of my self image when i was younger, my mom would always be on me about losing weight and telling me i needed to. so ive thought i was huge since i was 11ish. i look back at pics and really i didnt start gaining bad till sophomore year of highschool but even then i was probably 170 i think... now i look back and am so mad i thought i was so unattractive, i robbed myself of that self confidence i have now
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Postby JeepGirl » June 22nd, 2006, 4:04 pm

I am so here with this!

In HS I was a 10-12 and all my friends were a 4. Talk about UGHHHH.
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Postby Lauraly » June 22nd, 2006, 4:09 pm

One summer during college, I lost over 20 lbs and was at what is now my goal weight. I felt fabulous. I kept the weight off for several years.

My first job out of college I worked very closely with a girl about a year older than me and about the same size as I was. I remember very clearly having a conversation with her that drifted to the topic of weight. She spent 10 minutes complaining about her weight while I reassured her.

At one point I said something like "I love my size, I think I'm perfect and don't have to lose an ounce." And I truly meant it. I remember the conversation kinda died after that. She seemed irritated with me that I didn't join her in the "I hate my bod" club.

I think you can love your weight only if you have gone beyond it, and had to fight your way back.
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Postby alpha femme » June 22nd, 2006, 4:19 pm

ok, i guess i'm not alone.
i think emogrl said it best; i feel cheated.

mf is our chance to reinvent ourselves.
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Hi

Postby dede4wd » June 23rd, 2006, 12:32 pm

Alex,
I LOVE what you said about reinventing yourself! I feel like I have! I feel like MF is giving me my life back! I went from this wallflower that wouldn't look anyone in the eye to a girl walking with her head high, shoulders back greeting everyone with eye contact and a smile!

I wasn't heavy in high school, I was so active. I never thought about my weight, I never thought about dieting. I also didn't eat fast food. I didn't get big until my late 20's and really do feel cheated that I let myself turn into someone who didn't want to go out, didn't want to be seen, didn't want to DO anything! I feel like I WASTED a good part of my life and I KNOW I will not go back there!

I have friends with teenage daughters now. The ones that aren't big think they are and are dieting. THe ones that are big don't care! The way my friends kids are getting big sitting at the computers and video game consoles, this problem is going to get WAY worse! I'm so worried about the kids!

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Postby Jen » June 23rd, 2006, 12:53 pm

Very interesting topic.

I was around a size 13/14 in 9th grade and had never considered myself "fat", I don't remember it ever occuring to me.

I distinctly remember my Mom sitting me down and talking to me in a very loving way about my health. She basically just said that she noticed I was starting to gain weight, (typical for my age she said) and that we could work on it as a family. She mentioned eating less junk and starting to ride bikes or take evening walks. My mom was probably a size 12, not fat, not skinny.

Well, instead of listening to what she was saying as perfectly reasonable and supportive, I was mortified. I had a terrible reaction, I was embarrassed and refused to discuss it with her again. Of course, I ate more than ever and never exercised. Teenage rebellion that only hurt me.

So I completely relate to that feeling of "if I had only known..."
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Postby MusicalMomma Reloaded » June 24th, 2006, 5:42 am

WOW, I so relate to the stories on this thread!!!

From my earliest rememberance, my brothers and the neighborhood kids called me "Butterball"! So I always felt fat and unacceptable...I look back at my early childhood pics and although I was not a petite or skinny kid, I was in NO WAY fat or obese. The teasing never ended and neither did my weight gain! By highschool graduation, I was a 14/16 and felt like a Hippo! Amazing, My goal is to get into a 12/14 and stay there now!

As such I am VERY VERY careful with my words about weight to my daughters!
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Postby BoPeep1 » June 24th, 2006, 6:41 am

I lucked out that my personality overtook how I looked. I think I was always overweight, but it was very rare that any kids called me fat.

I never had any concept of what a diet was growing up. My very first diet was when I was 24.

my senior year I used to walk home from school every day because I was on the early release program, (about a mile). I used to think this would help me shape up, never thinking that the store I was stopping at every day on the way home buying boxes of Little Debbies would hinder that. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't losing weight!

I was an 18 when I graduated from high school. Even at my smallest, toned up and slim, I was still an 18.
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Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » June 24th, 2006, 7:15 am

even though it sucked that i had such crappy self confidence and thought i was so hideous in HS and younger i am sorta thankful I went through those feelings because now i love myself completely. I was talking to this guy the other night and it came to the subject of going out for drinks and i said i cant . he asked why and i told him i am on a diet. he asked if i was dieting to try and look better so i told him that i was doing it for better health i already am very attractive lol.

he laughed and joked saying that sounds a bit concieted. i just told him no...i have self confidence. some thing i would never have been able to say before that...

and self confidence (not cockiness) is sexy :D
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Postby FluffyNoMore » June 24th, 2006, 8:53 am

I can relate to all your stories. I had a family who always like to tell me I was fat when I wasn't....I was the girl who was 5ft 5 at 11yrs old...already gone through puberty. So I got teased at school by all the boys because of my boobs and the girls hated me because of it and at home my dad and brothers would call me fat, huge, fat ass, tubby..you name it they said it....in highschool I wasn't fat at all. 130ish....but felt like I was the fattest person in the room. I ran track for 4 yrs and was in unbelievable shape... but I was told on a daily basis I was fat.

I look back at pictures and it makes me sad that I didn't have any self confidence, that I didn't realize what I had and keep it. I put weight on after my 2nd child..gained 65 lbs with him and then my hormones went whacko and my hair started falling out and a slew of tests later with an endocrinologist and a move 3 yrs ago and no further tests...here I am.

Anyway....I know I've always felt like the fat girl, even when I wasn't the fat girl...I just wish that I could've embraced who I was and liked myself. Instead of getting to the point I was when I started MF. I'm very thankful for MF, but I wish I never had to get here.
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