Nickieluv

nickieluv · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:04 am Post subject:

I am struggling with wanting to eat off-plan stuff today. I had the PB snack, which I don't think is still considered on-plan but it used to be, so I'm counting it. It had the allure of something off-plan so I'm hoping it will fit the bill. Plus I shared with my daughter after measuring so I didn't get the full amount.

I was disappointed I guess last night. What I wound up having was a lot less satisfying than the steak I had figured was coming. But after all the spending I've done lately I couldn't justify spending so much on dinner. I want to pay off the credit cards that I used by the end of this month, because we have some extra money coming in. I can't do that if I squander it little by little. And my husband wanted the pizza. It wasn't good for him, but he's dealing with his own emotional eating issues he says. Unresolved past family stuff but he's working on it with someone.

Anyway, thanks Robin for bringing up that idea. I thought I was fine with last night's events, but I guess I really wasn't. I guess a lot of my eating was, like you said, to ignore or bury issues that I didn't want to admit or face.

I came up with a compromise on the missing shake thing. I've been coloring my 'good' days green. So I colored yesterday yellow and made a little key at the bottom of the page. Green = on-plan foods only, and yellow = accidentally missed shake. Hopefully I won't need to use yellow again.

It still counts towards my 100 days, since it was an accident, but I feel better because I've made the distinction between yesterday and the other days. I was already planning to make today orange = off-plan foods, but I came here before heading for the granola bars or cereal or whatever else I could find. I'm glad I did. It's a new day and my goals are more important than any food. Just sitting here, reading replies and typing, I am feeling more calm. I can have oatmeal all day to fill me up better, and I've been going to bed earlier lately so even if I've had all my meals by 6 it won't matter too much. And yes, I can have the extra shake if it comes down to that or a really bad choice. I hate to do that because I'm just such an anal person, but hey, if I do, I can always use another color if it gets to me tomorrow.

Day by day, week by week, I can just keep making better choices and make it to where I want to be.

Now, I have to get to work figuring out my 10-day reward.

nickieluv · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:09 am Post subject:

DogMa · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:10 am Post subject:

Good for you! And believe me, knowing it was the rational (or fair, or even just RIGHT) decision doesn't mean you don't still feel how you feel. And there's nothing wrong with those feelings. Or with you for having 'em.

nickieluv · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 8:37 am Post subject:

I made it through yesterday, but I'm having a hard time again today. I had my first two supplements way too close together to try to curb the 'hunger,' and I had my snack for the day, too. I actually had the granola bars in my hand today - but I put them down and got some diet soda instead. I'm not sure why today should still be such a struggle. I was hoping that getting through yesterday would calm things down a bit.

I remember it used to be said around here that your body would create hunger feelings right before dropping more weight, sort of like a defense mechanism or something. So I'm choosing to believe that's what is happening.

It felt good today to see a lower number on the scale - like a reward for good behavior. I know I can't always count on that, and I have to be able to disassociate from the scale if it shows a gain after a good day and realize that lots of things cause weight fluctuations besides what we eat. I guess I must have done something wrong to knock me out of ketosis and make me feel hungry - maybe it was the peanut butter? I'll cut that out of my snack options, then, just in case.

Well, I am staying strong so far today, and I'll make it - I have to keep in mind what is more important. And I'll call it progress that when I'd picked up those granola bars, I picked up just one package and not the whole box. Baby is crying again (big shocker - she's had a rough couple of days) so off I go to snuggle her.

nickieluv · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:04 am Post subject:

I guess snuggles were all she needed! I am so lucky to have two terrific daughters. Big sister is a huge help.

Man, she must know when I get on here - she's stirring again, but not awake yet.

I just wanted to pop in and say I'm feeling better. Coming here always seems to help, so far. And every time I say no to temptation, I feel stronger to do it the next time. It would be nice if temptation would just take a hike but that's not going to happen!

DogMa · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:17 am Post subject:

Ha. No, sadly, there will ALWAYS be temptations. But I think the more you look at why you're tempted, and the more you manage not to give in, the easier it gets. Like anything else, it takes practice. And heck, there are still going to be times (in maintenance) when you're tempted and DO give in.

Are you getting close to your next reward? That should be some motivation, too, right?

Hang in there. You're doing great!

nickieluv · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:06 pm Post subject:

I'm hitting the motherlode of rewards this week. Monday was 9 days, so I got another every-3-day reward. Yesterday was 10 days - I still have to decide what I want for that one. And tomorrow is 12 days, so another every-3-day-reward coming up. Getting my reward was one of the reasons I stayed good yesterday (day 10). And now that I've gone 10 days, I want to keep going more than I want those granola bars. I even opened the package for my daughter to have some and didn't even sneak a crumb (although plenty fell in my lap!). I think this new system is working.

DogMa · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:45 pm Post subject:

Excellent!! I think those smaller rewards work better than the whole "nothing tastes as good as thin feels" and "which do you want more, to be thin or to eat that granola bar" stuff. Because those other, bigger, lifetime awards are so far away sometimes. It's much easier to think "which do I want more, the granola bar today or a whole evening to myself two days from now."

DogMa · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:46 pm Post subject:

BTW, does it sometimes seem like we're the only ones here?

lauradr · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:27 pm Post subject:

I'm here

DogMa · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:48 pm Post subject:

Ha. Yeah, sorry, Laura. I guess not many folks are on during the day. Or they're just not blabbermouths like I am.

Even Mike doesn't seem to be around lately.

nickieluv · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:12 pm Post subject:

I know Mike's working on some hefty stuff for school starting up soon. Probably he's swamped with that?

Made it through today - pretty easy, actually, after the first few hours. It helped that I kept seeing lower numbers on the scale all day. Yeah, I'm still a constant weigh-in-er. Everytime I walk by the scale I have to step on it. Hey, as long as it's not a problem I'm not going to worry about it. When it starts making me think it's OK to have some - I don't know - CAKE - then it's time to work on it.

Skipped my sister's birthday dinner and the cake afterwards - it's a pain to take the baby out so late at night (7 - but yes, late for me at this point in my life) so just my husband and older daughter went. The dinner was at Pizza Hut - yeah, definitely not ready to ride that roller coaster, especially after just dealing with pizza and wings on Monday. I'll have to call her tomorrow - I hope she understood, this is just really important to me and it's not that it's more important than her, but - well, I don't know, I guess in a way it is more important than her. But I won't tell her that!

Mike · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:40 pm Post subject:

Hi there. Just checking in... been AWOL a bit, but wanted to let you know that we are there with ya.

Karli · Preferred Member 60# Club Joined: 24 Jun 2006 Posts: 1234

Hi, Nickie !!

Well, I haven't gotten all seriously read-up just yet, but I gather you are on plan and doing well, and that's great

. And, congratulations on the new little one

. I will be back later for more reading and rooting on

.

Cheers,
Karli

nickieluv · Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 4:02 pm Post subject:

Still not doing well on the timing of meals - life just keeps getting in the way and I don't have enough portable foods once I finish my one bar for the day. Continuing to work on that (have three meals to go and it's 7pm - ugh!).