When you need motivation READ THIS

[LongWay2go]

A day in the life of LW2G --

First, a disclaimer. I’m not writing this to evoke sympathy, and some of what I write will be personally embarrassing for me. I’m writing it in hopes that it will set your mind straight and provide the motivation you need to get started, get back on track or see what can happen to you if you don’t.

Now a little history:

When I graduated high school I weighed 169 pounds. In my 20’s I slowly gained to the mid 200’s. I was ok with that. I was very active and even worked two full-time jobs. Not because I needed to, but because I liked being busy and did not mind standing on my feet 18 hours a day. By age 32 I was at 300 pounds. I still worked on my feet, but my feet ached constantly and my legs has begun to hurt. At 35 I weighed 400 pounds. I switched professions and took a sit-down job at a desk because I couldn’t stand the pain of standing long hours anymore. At 40 I was approaching the 500 pound range, and in the summer of 2002 I hit my all time high of 523 pounds. By then I was suffering from extreme hypertension and life-threatening sleep apnea. I couldn’t walk more than a couple of hundred feet without collapsing in exhaustion. The most exhausting thing I did every day was taking my morning shower. My doctor sent me to an orthopedist who said my knees and hips were shot. The ball of my right hip bone was so badly damaged that it was square in X-rays instead of rounded. He put me in a wheelchair and told me to only walk when I had to, and to use a cane when I did. This all crept up on me over years and years of abusing my body with food, and it could easily happen to you!

Now, on to a day in the life of LW2G:

I get up in the morning around 7. The first thing I do is take a vicodene because I am in extreme pain and can barely even get up. Getting up is painful. VERY painful. About an hour later I take a shower to get ready for the day. It takes that long for the vicodene to kick in, so I can move with minimal pain. I keep an office-type task chair in the bathroom. I need that to brush my teeth and shave. I can’t stand while doing those things. It would exhaust me, and I need to save my energy for the shower. After brushing and shaving, I roll over to the tub and turn on the shower. Once the water is the right temperature, I quickly get in and get my shower over with as quickly as possible. It DOES exhaust me, and afterwards I collapse in the chair to regain my breath. While I regain the strength I’ll need to walk to the bedroom to get dressed I put on deodorant and comb my hair.

Then I go to the bedroom to dress. I take my rolling chair with me, as I’ll need it when I stand up from getting dressed. I need two “props” to stand, and usually use a chair on one side and my cane for the other. I sit on the edge of the bed and get dressed. Sometimes I can put on socks, but often I cannot. The pain in my hips is too great and I just can’t reach my foot. At least half of my days, I go sockless in my shoes.

Along about noon or 1 o’clock I take my second vicodene. By then the pain is coming back and if I don’t take the pill I won’t make it through the afternoon. Every time I stand up I have to make sure I have something there to help me get up, and that’s usually a chair. I keep a chair from the dining room next to my recliner in the living room to help me get up. I don’t use my wheelchair in the house, but absolutely must use the cane. Without it I can and have fallen. I keep a second rolling chair in the kitchen so I won’t have to stand while I prepare my shakes. I use one of those reaching “grabber” sticks to take things out of the cabinets, so I won’t have to endure the pain of standing up.

Around 5 or 6 o’clock I take my final vicodene for the day. By then even that doesn’t help much with the pain and I’m pretty much “done” for the day. I spend the rest of the evening in my recliner watching TV. It’s not very comfortable, but I can’t get up from the sofa or loveseat. They sit too low. They are beautiful though, with their custom silk upholstery (they came from Ethan Allen).

About 10:30 or 11:00 I go to sleep. I sleep in the recliner. I haven’t been able to sleep on a bed for 8 months now. When I try, I can’t walk the next day from the pain in my hips.

Why am I sharing this with you (some of you may feel I am inflicting it upon you)? Because it could just as easily happen to you or someone you love! My years of abusing food have done a funny thing. They’ve taught my mind how to lie to my body. My revelation came a few years ago when I realized that deep within my mind, I actually believed I would die if I didn’t eat until I was full. I don’t know where that came from! I didn’t go hungry as a child. My father was wealthy. We never had to do without. I still don’t know where this came from, but now that I know it’s there, I can fight it!

There is one simple fact that makes us fat (or to be politically correct, overweight). We eat more calories than we burn. It doesn’t matter if you are trapped in a chair or a zealous runner. If you eat more than you burn, you’ll gain weight. If you eat less than you burn, you’ll lose weight. Yes, there are health considerations that can contribute one way or the other, but that doesn’t change the one and simple truth. Don’t eat it and it won’t land on your butt!

To prove my point I’ll use my mother in law as an example. She’s nearing 60 and very active. She speed-walks. She has many interests and hobbies. Her home is constantly in a state of remodel in one room or another. She rips out walls and puts in new ones. Anything you can think of, she does! She’s on Weight Watchers and counts her points very carefully. She keeps a food diary. She can’t lose weight despite all this. Why? She picks. As she cooks her healthy heart-smart meals, she picks. I’ve seen her eat a good quarter-pound of turkey, spoons of mashed potatoes and dressing, etc. while cooking a family dinner. Then she sits down to dinner and weighs her food to count her points - very, very carefully! She doesn’t eat dessert. That sumptuous Chocolate-Chocolate cake looks dreamy, but she doesn’t dare. She serves to everyone but herself, then while they rave on the wonderfulness of it, she cleans the knife with her fingers and licks them off. Then she uses the knife to “clean off” the frosting left around the edge of the plate and licks that off too. But she doesn’t have dessert, right?!?

I apologize for this post being so long, (I’ll borrow Guido’s whip for a minute here) but you need to read it because if you are on MF and not losing weight, you are lying to yourself and eating more than you admit. Period! If you are otherwise healthy and do not have a medical problem causing weight gain, you are eating more than you need. If you weren’t, you’d be losing.

Hate me, keep lying to yourself, or do something about it! Put that knife on the cake plate and wash it in the sink instead of licking it clean. Realize that 4 ounces of chicken is not 3, and that extra ounce WILL make a difference!

Still procrastinating? Why do today when you can diet tomorrow? Because you could be another “me” in the making. You could hit 523 pounds. The difference is, you might not survive it.

I now own my own business and am successful in it. I could be driving that little Mercedes convertible that I yearn so badly, except that I need the minivan to haul my wheelchair around. I could have enjoyed that Caribbean cruise I took last October except I had to stay on the ship because I couldn’t walk ashore. I could go to Europe several times a year if I wanted to, except I can’t walk through the airport.

Are you getting the point? I surely do hope so, and I pray you take my message to heart. If you are thinking about starting MF, DO IT. If you are derailed from your plan, GET BACK ON IT. What else could I possibly say to convince you, if my near death and daily life doesn’t do it for you? Please, do it for yourself. I’m begging you, and I’m willing to help. Just send me a note.

- Gerald

[Ria]

Hi Gerald,

Thanks so much for sharing a day in your life. You have certainly opened my eyes...I will keep on keeping on because you borrowed Guidos' whip!

I know you are going to be a hunk in no time!

[DutchChoc]

Gerald!! Wow!

Thanks for making the amazingly unselfish sacrifice of a lot of your privacy to bring forth such a candid, honest description of your circumstances. You're quite a man, a kind, interesting fellow, I can tell, and such an excellent communicator! I hope you write a book to describe all of this one day, which is to say, about reclaiming your life as these tangible days (of Medifast) pass, one by one, and you grow lighter and more agile again. The man on the cruise doesn't look like the man of your description; he looks to me rather tranquil and happy and far more likely to enjoy things than it seems you can presently. I would probably not imagine your difficulties within one-hundredth of the facts had you not described them so clearly. But there's a lot of life left for you, and fortunately you sense that.

It does make me wish things "were different" for you, right now, I have to say, but don't apologize for having that effect, and from the sounds of your first week, I think you can make things different for yourself gradually and surely. A life without pain would be a grand start, and is what I would wish you, along with enough supplemental determination to go the course. I hope that losing weight will bring that to you. Like Mike said, a life without a cane again. May you one day throw that cane away, and the lot of your props and your wheelchair, and sleep in a comfortable bed, and maybe get that little Mercedes. If all that life offers is within your grasp, please find a way to enjoy it!! As you keep losing weight and find your life easier, even a little, you'll have to let us know. That will be almost as rewarding as good news or the thought of a cruise to me.

You've really touched me with your words. Please (continue to) save yourself, thorough all the challenges ahead, through all the "oatmeal days" when there seems to be only the flurry of Medifast in the air. Maybe you should keep a diary.

[TamiL]

Gerald
Thanks for sharing that moving post.....you will DO THIS....we are here for you!!

Tami

[Nancy]

Gerald ~

You are my hero for being so candid. Your poignant description of a day in the life of Gerald should surely make a big difference in the life of others.

This IS all about LIFE and living it to the edge of all our possibilities!

LW wants to go for a ride in the Mercedes -

...she wants a red convertible!

C U on the cruise - Because we can!

[Carrie]

Gerald,
Thank you for being so open and honest with us and with yourself.

It did hurt my heart to hear what you live through daily. It also confirmed for me what I've been saying lately - this is a matter of life and death.

I have watched my overweight father over the last several years have several heart attacks, CABG (bypass) surgery and a knee replacement. He will have another knee replacement this fall. His eating habits have not changed. The one thing I fear in this life more than anything is losing my parents, and the bald truth is that if my Dad would eat healthily I would probably get to have him for several more years than I will. This I cannot change, but I do not want to have to go through what he has gone through.

Personally, I got up to the neighborhood of 270 - I may have been more - because of course I didn't get on a scale very often. I was starting to see the effects of the weight - my knees ached and I was starting to not be able to do things I'd always been able to do. Getting out of the bathtub was exceedingly strenuous and I couldn't climb stairs, I didn't fit very comfortably in the seat of my SUV. Certainly, my struggles are NOTHING compared to what you endure, DAILY.

I can however tell you one thing. Gerald, I lost just 40 pounds - FORTY POUNDS, and it made a tremendous difference in my physical and mental life. Getting out of the bathtub is no longer difficult, I can climb several flights of stairs without difficulty, I sit, lay and stand more comfortably. EVERYTHING is easier, and THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO, in a very short period of time.

Your weight has crippled you physically - kept you from doing things most of the world takes for granted. A lot of us have not experienced that level of physical limitations, but most of us here have been dealing with the crippling mental limitations. Not wanting to leave the house or meet new people, being afraid to see people we know, being ashamed. Every day this erodes our spirit - this destructive habit that is so hard to break.

Each one of us is worth fighting and winning this battle. We all deserve freedom from this physical and mental prison and I believe we can all achieve that freedom by fighting to change - each and every day.

You are an inspiration to me, and I am humbled by your generous spirit.

Carrie

[LongWay2go]

Thank each and every one of you for your kind words and support! My motivation is to prevent what happened to me from happening to others, and I'll go to any length to do just that, embarrassing or not!

I'm certainly not looking for sympathy. I've felt sorry for myself long enough and see where it's gotten me! Posting is great therapy for me and (hopefully) my posts will encourage others to get started, or get re-started if they've fallen. I would consider this a success if I save even one person from experiencing what I have gone through!

- Gerald

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Gerald,

If the world were full of people like you, it would be a beautiful peaceful place. Bless you for your kindness. I'd swear your extra weight is due to being all heart! Your posts always fill me up with inspiration. I raise my shaker jar to you, and the coming days as one by one we become lighter, happier and healthier. Mahalo for shining your light Gerald!

Your MF Pal,
Camille

[susan]

cheers to you Gerald ,
you sure did make me stop and think .I am having trouble with my knee and i sure don;t want to get to the place I can;t walk and every pound I take off helps my knee thank you.
susan

[Jeanette]

Gerald:

THANK YOU. You have no idea how much your story struck a chord in me.

You are going to make it!!

[LongWay2go]

Thanks Camille, Susan and Jeanette! You are all so motivating to me and I just want to give back as much as I possibly can. I'll be joining the 40# club this week at weigh in. I'm so excited! I went out to dinner last night with some good friends from the west coast and they commented on how much better I looked since they last saw me, which was when I was down from my injury, heavily medicated and couldn't walk. We met at one of the casino's in CT and had a great time!

-Gerald

[Lois]

Gerald, you are my hero

love and BIG hugs,

Lois

[LongWay2go]

Thanks Lois, YOU were one of my biggest motivators to start on MF, in case you didn't know!

huggz,
Gerald

[Lois]

Thanks, Gerald! I didn't know that, and I am honored. You are such a wonderful part of this little cyber-family!

love and hugs,

Lois

[Nancy]

Gerald ~

Wow! You passed another Foody Event with flying colors! What?! You are ready for the 40 Pounder Club?

Congrats in advance!