jayzoe

[Mike]

[nickieluv]

You have got to be the example I hold up in my weak moments. Michelle is right, you have been so strong this week at times when I would have just caved. I have a lot of respect for what you've accomplished. Keep it up!

[jayzoe]

thanks to everyone for the supportive comments! still working on the binging cravings, it's incredibly hard, I haaaaaaaaaate being an addict, this sucks!!!!

[jayzoe]

dry mouth: check

nauseous stomach: check

insane insomnia last night: check

big old huge nasty binge last night: CHECK

ayup, I fell off the wagon with a huuuuuuuuuuuge bang last night, had all kinds of stuff that I shouldn't have had, wayyyyyyyy too much sugar and fat, could NOT stop eating, and woke up today with a food hangover... and if you've never felt that, then you're not a binge eater

not exactly sure why it happened except just myself feeling that whole "you deserve some good food!" thing that morphed into "GIMMEH" with every single thing in the house I could find to shove in my mouth *shakes head* it's amazing how I literally physically could not stop myself...

I'm wondering if it's becuz I kept saying, "You'll be back on plan tomorrow no matter what" so my brain thought I had to get in every forbidden thing I could imagine last night! not sure tho...

at any rate, I am firmly back on plan today, I've already started drinking my water (I drink an insane amount of water a day anyway) in hopes of flushing everything out, I'll be working out later too to help in that area...

I know in the long run that one binge eating episode isn't going to derail me, but I'm trying to figure out why, ya know? *shrug*

[nickieluv]

[jayzoe]

yeh, I've tried the "little taste" thing and it will sometimes work for me and sometimes not, the only trouble is since I don't know if this will be a "work for me" day, I try not to do it cuz it could lead to a major binge again! I think I'm going to work on it a little at a time, as they say, I'm a work in progress!

oh, I've had those dreams too, I sometimes dream about being off plan and then when I get up, I have to remind myself that I wasn't off plan, it was just a dream!

[Michelle in NJ]

I'm looking at your ticker and if it is still current you are pretty darn close to goal! It's good that you're not letting one slip derail you permanently. Sounds like you have gotten right back on the horse which is the only thing that is going to move the ticker more and more to the right!

By the way, I drank a whopping 120 ounces of H20 today! I never in a million years thought that I'd be drinking that much water on a regular basis. But I find that I really enjoy it!

Michelle

[jayzoe]

it is actually current, I finally reset it after vacation, admitting that I'd gained quite a bit while off plan

now my problem is that I'm like, "it's just 15 pounds, who cares if I'm fifteen pound overweight?" and it's very insidious! that nasty little voice keeps telling me that I should go ahead and go off plan cuz it's only fifteen pounds...

it's annoying!

[CaribGirl]

It may only be 15 pbs right now, but you know that that 15 can easily turn into 20 then 25.....I say you obviously know that because if you didn't you wouldn't be worrying about it. I am sorrta in the same boat, but I only want to drop 5-8 to get back into my comfort zone. And I know if I don't do it now, it will be 10-12, then 14-16, etc.
You are doing great! Keep the positive attitude. It won't take you long to shed the 15....'
Have a great day!
Lauren

[jayzoe]

so I've been watching TV lately and have found several things that have fascinated me:

On an MTV special about teens and weight loss they had a guy who said several things that I really identified with. One was that he basically waits thru the day and his only bright spot is weighing himself in the morning to see how much he's lost. Now I don't LIVE for weighing myself, but I understand his daily weighing and how he feels about it, I get that way sometimes myself, if I've been super good for several days, I can't wait to check out that scale in the morning and sometimes it's what pops me out of bed

another thing he mentioned was that he was staying away from restaurants and parties and such in an effort to keep the weight off, and I've been doing that too, whereas we used to just go out all the time... I know it's healthier, but I miss it This guy was insanely obsessive about himself, he only ate like 1000 calories a WEEK (verrrrrrry unhealthy) and of course couldn't exercise becuz of how weak he was... I don't ever plan to be like that, but I understand his desire to get the weight off...

I also finally got around to watching What's Eating Gilbert Grape, which is a great movie if you've never seen it... the mom in that movie is a morbidly obese woman who never leaves the house and there's a bit in there about people staring, etc... I just kept thinking, "that could be ME if I don't get this under control!" so it sort of hit home for me...

I also had a "This actually DOES apply to you" moment, you ever think that sometimes the food rules just don't apply to you? I figured I'd keep eating some veggies if I was hungry at night and it would be fine, hey they're veggies, right, how bad can they be? And if I hadn't eaten so MUCH of them, I would've been fine but I was eating a lot of tomatoes (CARBS) and lots of green beans too, and finally woke up to the fact that they're adding unneeded carbs to my body that's slowing me down... so no more of that!

anywho, time for breakfast!

[jayzoe]

so this is it, I go to see a plastic surgeon tomorrow about a possible tummy tuck, I am SO tired of this apron of flappy skin around my waist! I think I could be seriously happy with my body where it's at right now as long as I could get rid of the skin... I haaaaate that I've made all this progress all over my body EXCEPT there, and of course that's the only place I look

so I'm hoping to get myself scheduled in and get this taken care of and then see where I'm at then... staying on plan till the doc tells me not to!!!

[Lauren]

Hey, Jayzoe! While I totally understand your frustration with the extra skin, can I seriously/strongly/vehemently recommend you wait until you're at your goal weight and have maintained for quite some time before you have the surgery? I know, you didn't ask my opinion, though you did ask about my surgery in the maintainance forum, so I feel like I maybe can put my 2 cents in...

Besides the fact that your body will continue to change as you lose weight, which could affect the results of the surgery, you also just really need to make sure you've "mastered" the art of the maintaining. Let me tell you a quick story. There was a woman who was the motivation for my starting MF, who had lost 135 pounds on the plan and who I saw at a wedding and was so mesmerized by her success, I started MF days later. She was amazing, and healthy, and excited, and only had about 20-30 more pounds to lose before her ultimate goal. But she was so frustrated by the excess skin, on her arms, her belly, her breasts, everywhere. So, in thinking that it would only make her feel better, be more motivated, more active, she got the surgery. She looked and felt great. And, then, well, she started eating more. And more. And the pounds came back, and now she's probably gained back at least 90-100 of the pounds.

The surgery has a way of making you feel "done," and a little too complacent. And if you're not really at goal, and haven't really figured the whole thing out yet, you could be setting yourself up for a really tough road.

You're an adult, and I totally don't mean to be poking my head where it doesn't belong, but this forum is about sharing experiences and offering guidance and support. Your surgeon SHOULD require that you've reached your goal and maintained for AT LEAST 6 months, but many surgeons don't, bc they're in it for the money. Jayzoe, be really thorough about this process, and please do not just jump in.

Okay, all of that said, it sounds like you're doing great, and I am so happy for you!

Lauren

[jayzoe]

thanks much for the advice Lauren! I appreciate all the advice I can get

I've thought about this for a verrrrry long time and prayed about it and gone back and forth with it forever. I've done a ton of research and just really concentrated on it for quite awhile, so I don't feel like this is spur of the moment thing.

I also am in the opposite viewpoint, I know myself and know that if I spend this much money on a surgery that I will NOT be gaining all the weight back, no way no how... My goal weight is more of a guideline right now, I was just aiming for "less" and didn't really care if I hit the actual 140 number or not, I truly would be happy with my weight and body right now except for the belly flap.

I really do appreciate the advice tho! I'm in for the long haul either way, so I figure this is just that extra motivation to keep everything off... no WAY I'm going thru this twice!

[Mike]

Hi there. Just checking in... been AWOL a bit, but wanted to let you know that we are keeping t5rack and making sure you don't go all offplan on us.

[jayzoe]

nope, still firmly on plan and more motivated than ever!