Tawanda

[Tawanda]

Hi, my name is Tawanda and I joined MakeMeThinner a couple of days ago.

No, that is a lie ----I did join a couple of days ago, but my name isn't Tawanda. I don't think anyone's name is Tawanda ---but I wanted to join without using my real name and just that day, during a web search, came across the movie 'Fried Green Tomatoes' listed as a possible site and there was that middle-aged woman's battle cry TAWANDA!!! I was in a spot in my life where I could use a battle cry of my own----so, Tawanda is what I thought of when I had to chose a name for this site.

The battle-----my weight. And until I can feel that I am not going to embarrass myself by losing the battle, I'm going to call myself Tawanda. On the day that I feel successful, I'll share my 'real' name.

My weight has ballooned up from 122 to 222 (my highest point) in the past 17 years. I was always a very thin child, a thin teen, a slim adult and then, during a particularly depressing time in my life, I became an overweight, sad woman and then an obese, sad woman.

At that time, I could not continue with my hobbies so I took up a new hobby---eating. When the time came that I could do my hobbies again (sewing, cross-stitch, knitting, crocheting, gardening, quilting, exercising) I had forgotten how to do all but the most current hobby----yep, eating.

I became stuck in a downward spiral--or perhaps it was an upward spiral if you tie it to the numbers on the scale. With each increasing year and scale jump, my happiness with myself took another nose dive.

I've tried many venues to take the weight off. Spending time, spending money, planning the current game plan, figuring out how long it would take me to lose the weight and then, I would once again end up failing. Most diets failed before they were truly begun as I have been horrible at sticking to a diet. I'm not a good cook, I do not enjoy cooking, I do not enjoy grocery shopping and I really hate being told what to do. Pretty much a recipe for failure on most diets.

I did lose while doing a modified Atkins diet a few years ago. Modified? Well, I made it easy on myself and did what worked for me -- and the scale showed a consistent loss so to me that was success. I stopped eating the 'Atkins way' while gone on a very long business trip. I figured 'no problem' not sticking to my eating plan while I was gone and that I would just jump right back onto the plan when I was back home. Well, some how my 'jumper' got broken or misplaced or just quit working, because there was NO jumping back on the plan after I returned home.

Thus, I gained back almost everyone of the 40+ pounds that I had lost. I had promised myself that I would never gain back the weight once I had lost it, so the self hatred and recriminations have been impressive. Unfortunately I excel at things such as negative self talk, recriminations, self hatred and being unforgiving of my failures and foibles. I'm much kinder to others than I am to myself.

But, I've not given up. I felt that I was just about to the end of the rope, not enough room even to tie a good solid knot, or so it seems.

Then I found out about Medifast through an acquaintance (she had lost over 45# while using it), which led me to do a web search, which led me to a blog, which led me to another blog, which led me to Serendipity's blog, which led me to this site. (Whew! a lot of web surfing and blog reading)

I read Serendipity's journal, read many other people's journal entries, spent hours and hours reading the forums and threads on this site which inspired, impressed and gave me hope.

So, a couple days ago I placed an order and then wrote a PM to Serendipity/Jo telling her thank you for her journaling. Being able to follow her journey through losing weight using Medifast and this site, gave me hope that I could do the same. There were many, whose stories I've read, that have impressed me--but Jo's was the first story that I've read completely and I felt that God led me to this site and showed me the successes. Jo is close in age to my age and also mentioned quilting as one of her hobbies. I was at the point of grasping at straws so I figured that those two straws along with me finding the blogs that led to the website and her story along with the other successes posted here, was my blessing from God. "Follow me, believe that I am with you, I will help you through this and see what I have in store for you". Probably wishful thinking instead of Godtalk and blessings---but I think I'll just stick with the God-incidence thought and be thankful.

The UPS tracking says my package is on the truck and to be delivered today. I've been watching for the big brown truck all day in anticipation of beginning my own journey. It hasn't arrived, but I thought it was time that I began my accountability by introducing myself in my own journal.

I noticed some older posts by people whose tickers don't show any movement for a year or longer. I'm guessing that those are people who have left the site and not continued on the Medifast program. I am hoping and praying that I don't follow that same path. I am hoping and praying that some day, some one will see me as the success that I see Jo and many of you......that some day I will receive a PM from a new person saying "Thank you for what you have shared about your journey---you give me hope that I can do as you've done and become healthy, happy and successful in taking control of my relationship with food".

I appreciate being able to join a group such as this and hope that I will encourage you from now on as many of you have encouraged me, without even knowing you were doing it, in these past days.

Tawanda!!

[Elizabeth]

Welcome to the forum Tawanda. As you know it is full of supportive people and some wonderful examples to follow. Best wishes to you on your Medifast plan.

By the way, if you ordered over $200 it is usually shipped by Fed Ex even though it says UPS...so watch for the red white and blue truck

[Serendipity]

Hi Tawanda. I replied to your PM, but I wanted to welcome you to the forum. I'm so glad that something I wrote got out there for you to find. Let us know if you need any help or support. We're here for ya.

[Unca_Tim]

Welcome Tawanda!!
(in my best battle cry voice)


Stick around and we'll keep you healthy....
You couldn't have a better mentor than Jo.

[DonicaB]

Tawanda~ What a fantastic first journal entry. I really enjoyed reading it. And.....I love the name you have chosen for yourself.

You have made an excellent decision in beginning this journey. Now is the time to begin some positive self-talk. Remind yourself that you are worth every ounce of effort that you are putting into losing this weight.

We will be here with you along the way to encourage you and celebrate with you. We are here if you need a lift or even if you need a swift kick in the.......... ........well......you get the picture.

Welcome!

DonicaB

[DogMa]

Welcome, Tawanda. One bit of advice: Obviously, it's best not to mess up. But if you do, do NOT stop posting and slink away. Stick around, tell people you're struggling, and let them help you. If for a while, you need support and aren't in a position to give back, don't worry about it. Lean on the folks here, and at some point there will come a time when they'll be able to lean on YOU.

Good luck!!

[Karli]

Hi, Tawanda !!

I have to say that I am really, really excited for the big brown truck to arrive at your place, too. I think you are going to absolutely *love* Medifasting and will soon be experiencing the success you may think you can only dream about now.

Looking forward to getting to know you better .


Cheers and welcome,
Karli

[Lizabette]

COWABUNGA TAWANDA!
I loved your first post and your name, and am almost as excited for you as I was for myself.
You have no reason to feel ashamed, because now you have the necessary tools to take control of your life and health,
which includes a big weight loss! I KNOW IT!
Lizabette

[bikipatra]

Welcome Tawanda and the best of luck with what can be your last diet program and a new way of life.

[hulagirlfromhawaii]

[Carrie]

Hi!

I think that's a fabulous 'name' to use on this board!

I'm glad you're here, hopefully you'll get your order soon and can get started.

Carrie

[Tawanda]

Thank you for the kind words and welcome!

The big brown truck did deliver the package late yesterday afternoon. (I started watching for any color of delivery truck ).

I read through the materials after dinner and began the program this morning. I did do a bit of head scratching over the timing of meals,but it has worked out okay so far. I realized, a short bit ago, that I haven't drank enough water today. I am working on a 32 oz. tumbler right now--so I will be up and down all night as my penalty for not giving that more of a priority and thought.

Other than being a bit tentative about doing things 'right'...so far, so good.

I'm going to go spend some time reading some of the old threads, to gleen as many suggestions and tips as I can and also try to read to see how everyone else is doing.

Thank you again for the welcome and the advice.

[Sojourner]

Tawanda!!
Great name! How's Day 2 going?

[Tawanda]

Hello!

Day 2 of the program is almost behind me and it has gone well! I had a bit of trouble sticking on schedule for the meals (working around church and then some drop in company). But all in all it was a good and successful day.

I've drank 64 oz of water so far and have another 32 oz tumbler that I'm working on. I did have to get up 3x last night since I started drinking my water so late, but I just kept thinking how glad I was that I had started the program and would see the results soon.

I am enjoying reading the forums and am really looking forward to next Sunday's roll call.

So far the tastiest food that I've had is the chocolate pudding. Someone mentioned making it and then placing it in the freezer for 30 minutes so I tried it last night and it tasted okay. To me, the oatmeal has a bit of a chalky taste (reminds me of kaeopectate ) but the taste buds do get use to it and if this is what I have to eat to be successful, then I'm doing it.

[j0j0ruca]

Welcome! I just joined a week or so again. I just finished up my 1st week on MF.